ETS满分范文ISSUE TOPIC2-Duty Of Educators（by-bobbiezz from Big Fish）

BobbieZZUID: 2756583

ETS满分范文ISSUE TOPIC2-Duty Of Educators
TOPIC:
"It is unfortunate that today's educators place so much emphasis on finding out what students want to include in the curriculum and then giving it to them. It is the educators' duty to determine the curriculum and the students' duty to study what is presented to them."

Score 6
The statement above conceals intesting(infesting) connotations far above curriculum development.
Issues of classroom control and development of scholarly talents are at stake（在危机关头）, not simply a debate over which books are acceptable or over revisionist histories(历史修正主义).

The statement itself is a bit misleading in that in my experience, student control over curriculum hardly existed. Each year, there were certain course offerings made available, and students were to choose from those offerings, of course bearing in mind requirements for graduation set forth by the administration. On a classroom level, the immediate, initial material may have been somewhat directed by the students, but this was a part of the process allowed by the teacher/professor in order to gain the interest and attention of the students. However, too much of any one thing becomes problematic; letting students set the curriculum, as with letting students choose and design their own major in college, serves ultimately to dilute the quality of the educational experience unless a single advisor can devote significant amounts of time to the individual student.
This amount of time, or even the expense to the student of this individual attention, seems to indicate that resources would be better allocated elsewhere.
作者用自己的经历举出choice courses by students hardly existed

Of course, any school in which the students decide "what goes" is bound to have problems controlling students.
Once the educators, be they administrators or teachers, are under the control of students, even a democratic situation would be like holding royalty acountable
（accountable） to the mob（民众，暴民）. Presently, students hear for hours that they should not forget to use a condom in the heat of the moment, and educators think the message gets through, while half the kids can't even remember to bring a pencil to class. Students go to school not to simply learn the Pythagorean theorem
（勾股定理）, but to learn direction and receive guidance. This cannot occur when students are in charge, and standards, already hard to find in America's contemporary public schools, will become unenforceable.
If students dictate and administrators do, students will never learn academic responsibility, and if they can't be held accountable for homework, what other responsibilities will they avoid when they get older?
用对比方法表达了由学生自己管理的弊端。


But in another sense, teachers and students do exist in a partnership of sorts.
Teachers are there to satisfy the needs of the student, and the student, while perhaps not being the most experienced/ knowledgeable person on what his/her（用/替代了or,而且表示第三人称的时候不单用he,而是his/her.避免性别歧视…） needs actually are (versus wants), at least should be afforded some say. In addition, we must remember what the purpose of education is, and that there are different levels of education(=whatever levels are different of education).

In high school, the focus is not so much on learning actual material(=society activity). The focus is on developing study habits, and on social interaction. The best secondary schools promote an environment in which individual creativity and pacing can be developed, where students are taught to thinkon(think on) their own, and learn to debate and argue in a scholarly way, through writing and other formal methods of discourse.
Group collaboration（集体协作能力） and interpersonal skills(人际关系能力) are developed and honed. The actual details of what is(are) studied and tested is(are) of less importance. Whether a student reads(A student reads whether) Maya Angelou, or Yeats, or Euripides essentially is beside the point as long as a student's mind is cultivated, not just their ability to record and recite. What is important is that secondary students develop and grow in the hands of the professionals. The secondary educational experience is designed to prepare a student for college.
It is in college where the individual learns to examine the world and how it works, and the individual's place in it.
Maya Angelou Yeats Euripides是三个作家，以下是关于他们的简单介绍


Maya Angelou--- (born Marguerite Ann Johnson on April 4, 1928 in St. Louis, Missouri, USA) is an African-American poet, memoirist, actress, and civil rights activist. She is best known for her autobiographical writings I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (1969) and All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes (1986). Her volume of poetry, Just Give Me a Cool Drink of Water 'Fore I Die (1971) was nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. She has published numerous other collections of verse.

Yeats--William Butler Yeats (June 13, 1865 – January 28, 1939) was an Irish poet, dramatist, mystic and civil servant. Yeats was one of the driving forces behind the Irish Literary Revival and was co-founder of the Abbey Theatre.

Euripides--- (c. 480–406 BCE) was one of the three great tragedians of classical Athens, along with Aeschylus and Sophocles.



As for duty, it is the educators' duty not simply to determine the curriculum, but to present it effectively.
They cannot half-heartedly paint it on the blackboard, they must enliven it and actually teach.
Hard work must be lauded(赞美), while freeloaders are punished
（贪图便宜而受到惩罚，这里指教师因不认真工作而受责备）. These are the duties of teachers, and the duty of the students is not just to learn or study, but to grow. An independent mind is what students need, and that mind has to be in a position to want and be able to question beyond the material presented, not simply to question its legitimacy. That distinction, though subtle, is the difference between letting the students follow a self-destructive course（自我毁灭的过程） of premature self-determination on the one hand , and permitting on the other hand the fostering of great talents through a cooperative, mentoring relationship

COMMENTARY
This is an insightful, well-articulated discussion of curricular responsibility and the larger issue of academic responsibility. After a brief introduction examining assumptions implied by the topic, the writer skillfully develops the position that letting students dictate the curriculum could dilute the educational experience.
Allowing students to determine the curriculum, the writer claims, will deny them the guidance and direction they need to learn academic responsibility.

The line of reasoning is strengthened by the discussion of how teachers and students can work in partnership to satisfy the needs of students.
The argument is further advanced with concrete examples from high school courses showing how teachers provide guidance for students through group collaboration, development of interpersonal skills, and preparation for college.
The examples are varied (from condom use to reading Angelou, Yeats, or Euripides) and used effectively to further support the writer's position.

In the conclusion, the writer thoughtfully discusses how educators should not only determine the curriculum but present it in an enlivened and appropriate manner.
The final sentence, contrasting a "self-destructive course of premature self-determination" and "a cooperative, mentoring relationship," ties the essay together.结尾要将观点串联一致，结合成体系

The essay is clearly organized, although the writer does not rely on conventional phrases (such as "first," "second," etc.) to signal the organizational structure.
Instead, the organization and focus progress through the line of reasoning that moves fluently and coherently from one paragraph to the next.只要逻辑能表达流利一致，无需传统的模板

Language use is generally precise and effective (e.g., "holding royalty accountable to the mob"), and sentence structure is well controlled (e.g., "hard work must be lauded, while freeloaders are punished").
The few errors are minor, the kind that can easily be made -- and forgiven -- under testing conditions.小错误是可以忽略的，如果语言整体好的话

This outstanding response received a score of 6.