蔓落的ibt独立写作作文本~

蔓落UID: 2779470

Nowadays,more and more people are make use of the internet to accomplish goals in their daily life,so a strong voiced opinion about it is the time foe the government to spend more money to improve the access to the internet is widely spreading.However,to the limited mount of money in this period of the development,the facts tell that it is wise of the government to pay more attention on the public transportation.
With the highly development paces of the technology and bsiness in the society,the effective,convenient and environment friendly public transportation take a further significant place among people's life.First and foremost,the smooth public transportation is necessary for employee to go to work,students to go to school,especially for believers to go to church.So,every year,there must be a great deal of ideas of improving the public transportation like to broaden the avenues where traffic jams often happen,to construct more roads directly from one place to another to save time,or to build new types of public transportation,subway or light way,to bring more people but consume less.What is more,a good public transportation is the base of an area to develop it's tourist industry,especially for some places of historical interests in remote.Thailand,for a apropos example,contribute a transportation network all over the country to connect each tourist spots together for people who want have a wonderful vocation.As a consequence,the public transportation makes the main contribution to let Thailand becomes one of the most popular holiday paradise,and other industries relatived to the tourist industry became more and more prosperous at the same time.
On the other hand,indeed,the space of the network is astonishingly fast.The demand to improve the access to the internet is urgently needed too.The modernization way of doing things by the means of internet is low cost,shortcut and convenient,so the trend shows that the internet will become the main aspect in the communication of future.While people could do business like conclude a contrast in the internet,the physical distribution is still need.We take Ebay for instance that we can buy and sale items with the business companions just by clicking a button but we should wait till several days when the goods deliver by trains,planes or ships which are called public transportation.
Anyway,in conclusion,in the current ages,the government should focus more on the public transportation to make a straightway unblocked city.Maybe in the future,when most of the people were working though the internet,the government can shift the spot on the access to the internet.

蔓落UID: 2779470

3.15
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1071521&extra=
第一次写作文，请大家多多指教~

tony_yinUID: 2761086

我没有写今天的作文, 因为我觉得这个题目很难发挥, 写了也只是只言片语, 无法达标.
但是你的两个论点都展开得很充分! 语言流畅, 错误也很少, 能否告知花了多少时间?

yq_112397UID: 2286548

我就改你第一句吧。
Nowadays,(标点后要空一格)more and more people are make (怎么系动词+动词?) use of the internet to accomplish goals in their daily life (要负数),(这里该是句号而不是逗号) So a strong voiced opinion about it is the time foe (什么意思? for?) the government to spend more money to improve the access to the internet is widely spreading. (这句话语病严重无法明确指出)

在尽量不改变你的原意的情况下，建议修改成:

Nowadays, more and more people are getting used to achieve their goals by using Internet. Such as locating a place by searching google map; looking for an answer for a specific question by Baidu. So, people are starting to think whether the government should put more resources on improving internet access of ordinary people.

蔓落UID: 2779470

3# tony_yin

这篇作文我大概花了45分钟完成，5分钟提纲，40分钟打字。。。
其实里面还是蛮多的，像第一段楼下的同学就改了很多，发现无可救药还帮我重写了~
一起加油吧~~~

cp19880313UID: 2643174

3.15作业修改

蔓落的ibt独立写作作文本~
作文本, ibt, 写作
Nowadays,more and more people are make use of the internet to accomplish goals in their daily life,so a strong voiced opinion about it is the time foe the government to spend more money to improve the access to the internet is widely spreading.However,to the limited mount of money in this period of the development,the facts tell that it is wise of the government to pay more attention on the public transportation.

With the highly developed paces of the technology and bsiness in the society,the effective,convenient and environment friendly public transportation take a further significant place among people's life这句有问题.First and foremost,the smooth public transportation is necessary for employees to go to work,students to go to school,especially for believers to go to church.So,every year,there must be a great deal of ideas of improving the public transportation like to broaden the avenues where traffic jams often happen,to construct more roads directly from one place to another to save time,or to build new types of public transportation,subway or light way,to carry这个更好吧 more people but consume less.What is more,a good public transportation is the base of an area to develop it's tourist industry,especially for some places of historical interests in remote.Thailand,for a apropos example,contribute a transportation network all over the country to connect each tourist spots together for people who want have a wonderful vocation.As a consequence,the public transportation makes the main contribution to let Thailand becomes one of the most popular holiday paradise,and other industries relate to the tourist industry became more and more prosperous at the same time.

On the other hand,indeed,the space of the network is astonishingly fast.The demand to improve the access to the internet is urgently needed too.The modernization way of doing things by the means of internet is low cost,shortcut and convenient,so the trend shows that the internet will become the main aspect in the communication of future.While people could do business like conclude a contrast in the internet,the physical distribution is still need.We take Ebay for instance that we can buy and sale items with the business companions just by clicking a button but we should wait till several days when the goods deliver by trains,planes or ships which are called
public transportation.
这段我有些疑惑，你刚开始说了internet的一些好处，但是后来又说transportation的必要性，那这段我认为有些自相矛盾，如果支持一个观点，就应该坚定地去支持。
Anyway,in conclusion我觉得说一个就可以了,in the current ages,the government should focus more on the public transportation to make a straightway unblocked city.Maybe in the future,when most of the people were working through the internet,the government can shift the spot on the access to the internet.
这篇文章总体来说很有层次感，只是倒数第二段使我有些迷惑，还有就是一些小的时态问题，你不妨多注意一些。其他的我还感觉都不错吧。

蔓落UID: 2779470

3.17
昨晚寝室断网了~ 不好意思现在才上交

   Nowadays,there's a heated issue concerned on that the students in the universities should take basic science courses regardless of their field of concentration for that they voice that the science base of the current graduates is so thin that the students can not adjust to the society immediately.However,I could hardly raise my hand to this one-sided thoughts,and I still insist on the opinion that the students in the universities should arrange their first two years in studing basic courses,including science courses,and pay the other two years in the field they really interested in to get some special skill.
To choose a specialized field to have a deeper researches or gain a deal of practical skills is necessary for the university students.First and foremost,the knowledge which the students can pick up when they in university is a precious fortune for them,to their further education,future life or lifelong career.So,these knowledge,at least a part of it,should be relevant to the profession,not just the basic science.To the students themselves,they prefer to learn obtain some professional know-how in the field they dream of when they were children.At the same time,it is a waste of time because not all the basic science can be used in various areas.On the other hand,the enterprise would like to recruit the graduates who understand the job better,like who act a successful role in practical experience courses,rather than who get high scores in basic science courses,because the company prefer the students making profits to spending funds to cultivate.So,to spend four years on studing the basic science courses,to students,is not reasonable,and they students indeed need at least two years' concentration on the professions.
Without a doubt,the basic science courses are absolutely a essential factor in the university life.The basic science courses is the base of all the other specialized courses,just like the bricks to the building.To build a firm and substantial building,the bricks must be made of a series process,to select material in good quality,to roast in high temperature system,and to airing for a long time.As the same,to became excellent graduates,they will be selected form millions of high school students,contribute compacted base through studing the basic science courses,and finally form a unique talent by experiencing in practical sections.
Anyway,the students in the university should only not study the basic science courses but also to get practise in though the other period time.In conclusion,the ideal mode that the first two years for base and the last two years for experience is a sober choice to the current society.

蔓落UID: 2779470

3.18

There's a opinion voiced that the serious and strict teacher is more effective than a teacher who is humorous and easy going.I can hardly agree with it because I consider that the thought makes no sense,just like all roads can lead to Rome,and the difference is the various scenery.No matter a teacher is open-minded or severe,he can be a fabulous one or not measure by what his students have learned.
        On one hand,the teacher who is humorous and easygoing is so welcome by the students that no one can deny this condition.First and foremost,the open-minded teacher is commonly good at arousing the desire to the knowledge,especially to the kind of students who's learning is loathly,because the teacher is usually easy to get close to.Helen keller's teacher Anne,for instance,is one of the most great teacher,who is easygoing,considerate and optimistic.We can obviously know that Helen's success,which is contributed by Anne,is simple because Anne treat her with staminal,bovine and amiable way to make Helen believe that hopes are anywhere.Moreover,this kind of teacher often give the students a free way that they can put forward the point of view at the profession at any time,and the teacher is willing to communicate with the students,also to encourage them.
        On the other hand,there is no reason to say that a teacher who is serious and strict is not good.The teacher is actually strict at the science,but not the students,for that he may always hope his students can make religious treatment in the field as himself.So,he may regular make strict requirement like to accomplish the homework at the limited time to his students to make sure that they can gain enough knowledge and skills though his courses.Indeed,the students respect more to this kind of teacher and receive much by the means of slashing paper task or other ways.
        In conclusion,it is a waste of time to discuss the characters of the teachers will make influence on the quality of the teaching.Different teacher choose various methods to teach students,depending on their own professional experience,attitudes towards how to make themselves more successful and spread the knowledge further.Anyway,to students,they should get used to all kinds of teacher and form own styles .

s499992008UID: 2688967

Nowadays,there's a heated issue concerned on that the students in the universities should take basic science courses regardless of their field of concentration for that they voice that the science base of the current graduates is so thin that the students can not adjust to the society immediately（这句子也太长了，适当的段下句好吗？至今我还没看懂这句什么意思，虽说长句有优势，但是不能表达的很清楚，还是用短句好吧。。）.However,I could hardly raise my hand to this one-sided thoughts(thought),and I still insist on the opinion that the students in the universities （s去掉）should arrange their first two years in （on?）studing basic courses,including science courses,and pay the other two years in the field they really interested in to get some special skills.0 {# I: I8 Q8 v/ s2 N2 {1 ]3 w& b
To choose a specialized field to have a deeper researches or gain a deal of practical skills is necessary for the university students.First and foremost,the knowledge which the students can pick up when they in university is a precious fortune for them,to their further education,future life or lifelong career.So,these knowledge,at least a part of it,should be relevant to the profession,not just the basic science.To the students themselves,they prefer to learn obtain some professional know-how in the field they dream of when they were children.At the same time,it is a waste of time ，because not all the basic science can be used in various areas.On the other hand,the enterprise would like to recruit the graduates who understand the job better,like who act a successful role in practical experience courses,rather than who get high scores in basic science courses,because(换个词，如since ,as 什么的) the company prefer the students making profits to spending funds to cultivate.So,to spend four years on studing the basic science courses,to students,is not reasonable,(这句话主语？)and they students indeed need at least two years' concentration on the professions这段最重要的一定啊请楼主注意基本上都是论证，没有例证，没有细节。。.) p, p7 J% |+ \
Without a doubt,the basic science courses are absolutely a essential factor in the university life.The basic science courses is（are） the base of all the other specialized courses,just like the bricks to the building.To build a firm and substantial building,the bricks must be made of a series process,to select material in good quality,to roast(???) in high temperature system,and to airing for a long time.As the same time,to became excellent graduates,they will be selected form millions of high school students,contributing compacted base through studing the basic science courses,and finally form a unique talent by experiencing in practical sections.% Q1 Y$ c7 v& T( v, k
Anyway,the students in the university should only not study the basic science courses but also to get practise in though the other period time.In conclusion,the ideal mode that the first two years for base and the last two years for experience is a sober choice to the current society.楼主最致命的就是例子太少，细节也几乎没有。。而且想运用长句，可是拿起石头砸自己脚了，让人看这个文章很累，我觉得适当用长句，不用一味的去最求长句，能吧自己的意思表达清楚就好了。楼主加油吧。。。

老王家的小猫UID: 2781258

Nowadays, there's a heated issue concerned on that the students in the universities should take basic science courses regardless of their field of concentration for that they voice that the science base of the current graduates is so thin that the students can not adjust to the society immediately. However, I could hardly raise my hand to this one-sided thoughts, and I still insist on the opinion that the students in the universities should arrange their first two years in studying basic courses, including science courses, and pay the other two years in the field they really interested in to get some special (specific) skill.

To choose(Choosing) a specialized field to have deeper researches or gain a deal of practical skills is necessary for the university students. First and foremost, the knowledge, which the students can pick up when they in university, is a precious fortune for them to their further education, future life or lifelong career. So, these knowledge, at least a part of it, should be relevant to the profession, not just the basic science. To the students themselves, they prefer to learn（learn去掉） obtain some professional know-how(这个是口语词汇诶，换成abilities什么的吧) in the field they dream of when they were children. At the same time, it is a waste of time because not all the basic science can be used in various areas. (At the same time, learning redundant basic science is a waste time for not all these knowledge can be used.) On the other hand, the enterprise would like to recruit the graduates who understand the job better, like who act a successful role in practical experience courses, rather than who get high scores in basic science courses, because the company prefer the students making profits to spending funds to cultivate.(这句用逗号分开的分句太多，适当整合下比较好) So,to spend four years on studing(studying) the basic science courses, to students, is not reasonable, and they(they不要) students indeed need at least two years' concentration on the professions.
Without a doubt, the basic science courses are absolutely a essential factor in the university life. The basic science courses is the base of all the other specialized courses, just like the bricks to the building. To build a firm and substantial building, the bricks must be made of a series process, to select material in good quality, to roast in high temperature system, and to airing for a long time. As the same, to became excellent graduates, they will be selected form millions of high school students ,contribute compacted base through studing(studying) the basic science courses ,and finally form a unique talent by experiencing in practical sections.(举个具体的例子比较好)
Anyway, the students in the university should only not study the basic science courses but also to get practise(practice) in though the other period time. In conclusion, the ideal mode that the first two years for base and the last two years for experience is a sober choice to the current society.
(个人觉得文章写的很好，一般中立的角度比较难写，但文章的论述却很恰当，在选词方便也很好，但总觉得长句太长，很多分句之间衔接不够)

蔓落UID: 2779470

9# s499992008
谢谢你哦~~~给出这么诚恳的意见~~~一起加油吧

annkeUID: 2605122

There's a opinionU beliefs or views of a group; what people in general feel 集体的意见或看法; 舆论: voiced that the serious and strict teacher is more effective than a前面是the teacher who is humorous and easy going.I can hardly agree with it这里应该断句，because是连词，应用在同一主语的复句中 because I consider that the thought makes no sense,just like all roads can lead to Rome,and the difference is the various scenery.No matter a teacher is open-minded or severe,he can be a fabulous one or not measure by what his students have learned.4 p9 f+ g3 j; D" z, T; k7 O$ D
        On one hand,thea teacher who is humorous and easygoing is so welcome by the students that no one can deny this condition.First and foremost,the open-minded teacher is commonly good at arousing the desire to the knowledge,especially to the kind of students who's learning is loathly,.becausebecause必须用在复句里，并且统一主语 the teacher is usually easy to get close to.Helen keller's teacher Anne,for instance,is one of the most greatgreatest teachers teacher,who is easygoing,considerate and optimistic.We can obviously knowoh? How come? that Helen's success,which is contributed byto Anne,is simplesimply because that because Anne treat her with staminalstamina has no derived adj. form, bovine如果你想赞美Anne，是不该用贬义词的。请注意单词除了中文语意，还有英文语意及具体用法，它不是缓慢的，是愚蠢缓慢，像牛一样 and amiable wayin the way, treat sb. with sth. to make…你这句话完全是中文直译 to make Helen believe that hopesun. hope areis anywhere希望无处不在也不是这么表达的Hope everywhere.Moreover,this kind of teacher often gives the students a free way thatwhich.后面有介词forward，必须用which，注意定语从句用法 they can put forward the point of view at the profession at any time这句也是中文直译,and the teacher is willing to communicate with the students,also to encourage them.
        On the other hand,there is no reason to say that a teacher who is serious and strict is not good.The teacher is actually strict at the science,but not the students,for that he may always hope his students can make religious treatment in the field as himself?你想表达什么.So和because一样不能单用,he may regularly make strict requirement, like to accomplish the homework atwithin the limited time to? his students to make sure that they can gain enough knowledge and skills thoughthrough his courses这句话写得相当混乱。因此他会严格要求，比如在规定时间内完成作业，让他的学生确信他可以在他的课堂内获得足够的知识和技能。中文意思我也不能理解。.Indeed,the students respect more to this kind of teacher and receive much by the means of slashing paper task or other ways.
        In conclusion,it is a waste of time to discuss the characters扩大了概念，幽默严肃不是所有性格 of the teachers will? make influence on the quality of the teachingit is a waste of time to discuss whether a teacher humorous or strict influence the teaching quality.Different teacher choosees various methods to teach students,depending on theirhis/her own professional experience,attitudesattitude,抽象名词没有单复 towardsof how to make themselves more successful and spread the knowledge further.Anyway,to students,they should get used to all kinds of teacher and form own styles .
作者的语法基础薄弱，从用词(特别是冠词和主谓一致)到句法（中式翻译，复句结构不清晰）。另外，更重要的是文章看似条理清晰，123罗列，其实上下文之间没有太多衔接。我认为，议论文的每一个论证是围绕论点展开的，而每一个论点是回答题目问题的。作者的立场是没有对错，老师的好坏应该根据学生的表现来评价。从而提出一个新论点。在文章开头提出新论点给人的暗示是以下会论证 为什么说学生的表现是老师的好坏的标准。无疑，跑题了。个人建议，作者直接表明幽默和严肃不能说明老师好坏，再分论，幽默的老师有好有坏，严肃的老师有好有坏，所以不能作为标准，文章结尾处点出学生表现才应该是评判标准。 同时作者提出观点之后再也没有涉及到此点，结尾提出的又是学生应该适应老师的风格。十分涣散。欢迎讨论
10# 老王家的小猫

caoxuemeiUID: 2629828

看到了你给我的留言。加油啊！呵呵！没事常去看看我！

蔓落UID: 2779470

Scientists should be responsible for the negative impacts of their discovery___3.27

        The public always speak highly of the valuable aspects of the scientists' research but ignore the negative parts.So,even some famous scientific consequences make passive influence on the society.Just as people now are afraid of eating transgenic food like oil from the transgenic soy bean,because they do not know what will happen in the future if the have it and no body will stand out to take response for it.So as far as I am concerned,if some rules set to formulate that scientists should be responsible for the negative impacts of their discovery,the present condition will be improve.
        First and foremost,for every scientific research is a double-edged sword,scientists must be more religious and strict with their actions in professional field,if they keep the sense of they should shoulder the responsibility of the whole society,especially the negative parts which may be harmful.Many scientists are addicted to the high-risk studies at a numerous cost of time and money,ignoring the voice of the environmentalists and other opponets.For example,a nuclear test require that the people should leave their home ten kilometers away,and may lead the surrounding environment to ruin.So the scientists are necessary to consider whether it worth the cost or just a waste of the resource.
        Besides,a parts of the discoveries or inventions will indicative their side effects in future but now.So the scientists have the duty to resolve these problems since the the researches are put out.But till now,few scientists are blamed for the negative impacts on the society.Just like the phosphorus in washing-powder lead to a condition that the mount of the planktons increase so fast that the face of the water are covered.No scientists stand out,and the whole society,especially the government pay the "bill".However,if the scientists have known that they should take responsibilities on it,the phosphorus willr not be used in the washing-powder when created.
        Last but not the least,the scientists is the core when they carry on research,so they are initiative to control the effects which the research will make.
        Anyway,I insist on the stand that the scientists should be responsibilities to their research especially the negative impacts.And I believe that the science will act a more beneficial fact if every scientist is full of duty of society.