3.15

s499992008UID: 2688967

Though the advantages that improving public transportation are considerable,they can not compete with the benefits that making people access to internet by spending money,when convient,environment pollution,and economic development is taken into consideration.The government should enhance intennet with huge effort,which to make our citizen feel more positive effects faster.

To start with,internet makes the world like a villiage,reduce the distance from country to country from some kind of view.People just can,sitting in the front of the computer,driking tea,come to understand what happened on the another side of the earth,which they donot need to go there by person.My uncle lived in America,duing to his busy work,so he usually have no time to come back to look us.However,thanks to the computer,he never need to take 2 days on plane to come here to see us,and we can cleary know how he is going through camera of the computer.Finally,I firmly believe that improving access to the internet can benefit people to know more about the world without getting there.
In addition,the internet also supply the stage for merchants who can not find fitable purchaser.Nowdays,more and more merchants willing to put their products information on the internet ,which can attract more attention and find out potential buyer though the internet.For instance,my friend,lived in urban of jixi city,in a harvest year,reaped thousands kilogrames of apple cannot been sold,because of local suffcient apple market,and he radically cannot make all the apples to be sold in a satisfied price.After that,he put his apple information on the internet,and quickly someone called him to purchase all apples,which acknowledged the information from computer.In one word,it is necessary to pay more money on improving access to internet..

Every corn has two sides.Even though,being access to internet easier also bring us more problems,especiall the children.The young child who have not enough possessiveness to resist colourful and gorgeous things on the computer which is fresh for them,such as porn movies,pulp fictions or erotic photos and so on.Once they trapped in these things,boy might be tempted to commit crimes,or,if they are girls,engage in prostitution.From this perspective,people should not access to internet easier,but weighing looses and gains,I still agree that the government should spend more money on improving access to the internet.

pochun111UID: 2608867

Though the advantages that(of) improving public transportation are considerable,they can not compete with the benefits that making people access to internet by spending money语义不清,when convient,environment pollution,and economic development is taken into consideration.The government should enhance intennet with huge effort,which to make our citizen feel more positive effects faster语义不清 看不懂你想表达什么.
To start with,internet makes the world like a villiage,reduce the distance from country to country from some kind of view.People just can,sitting in the 去掉front of the computer,driking tea,come to understand what happened on the another the otherside of the earth,on which they donot need to go there by personthemselves .My uncle lived in America,duing to his busy work,so去掉 he usually have no time to come back to look us.However,thanks to the computer,he never need to take改成 can instead of taking 2 days on plane to come here to see us,and we can cleary know how he is going 加onthrough camera of the computer.Finally,I firmly believe that improving access to the internet can benefit people to know more about the world without getting there.
iIn addition,the internet also supply the stage for merchants who can not find fitable purchaser.Nowdays,more and more merchants willing to put their products information on the internet ,which can attract more attention and find out potential buyer though the internet.For instance,my friend,lived in urban of jixi city,in a harvest year,reaped thousands kilogrames of apple cannot been sold,because of local suffcient apple market,and he radically cannot make all the apples to be sold in a satisfied price.After that,he put his apple information on the internet,and quickly someone called him to purchase all apples,which acknowledged the information from computer.In one word,it is necessary to pay more money on improving access to internet..; 这里应该做一个分析 大概说一下 网络带来的好处 再做结论

Every corn has two sides.Even though,being access to internet easier also bring us more problems,especiall tothe children.The young children who have not enough possessiveness to resist colourful and gorgeous things on the computer which is fresh for them,such as porn movies,pulp fictions or erotic photos and so on.Once they trapped in these things,boy might be tempted to commit crimes,or,if they are girls,engage in prostitution.From this perspective,people should not access to internet easier,but weighing looses and gains,I still agree that the government should spend more money on improving access to the internet.
语句读起来不太通顺 倒数二段的例子过于绝对 应该举例更普遍的例子 更具说服力

爱烤鱼的小伙UID: 2580692

Though the advantages that（advantage of，如果用that的话主句就没有谓语了） improving public transportation are considerable,they can not compete with（这个词组用得好） the benefits that making people access to internet by spending money, when convient（这是什么词？）, environment pollution and economic development is（are） taken into consideration. The government should enhance intennet（Internet） with huge effort, which to make our citizen feel more positive effects faster.（这里不是一个从句，不用加which）

To start with, internet makes the world like a villiage（village）, reduce（reducing） the distance from country to country from（in） some kind of view. People just can（把just放在can的后面会不会感觉好一些？）sitting（sit） in the front of the computer, driking tea, come to understand what happened（what’s happening或者是what has happened） on the another side of the earth, which（这里不用加which，而且我感觉这句话也没什么必要加） they donot need to go there by person. （整个这句话写得很有问题）My uncle lived（lives） in America, duing to（due不是一个动词） his busy work, so（so去掉） he usually have（has） no time to come back to look（see） us. However, thanks to the computer, he never need（needs） to take 2 days on plane to come here to see us, and we can cleary（clearly） know how he is going through camera of the computer. Finally（finally一般用在几个不同的论点的最后一个，这里改成in conclusion好一些）, I firmly believe that improving access to the internet can benefit people to know more about the world without getting there.（benefit from的搭配，这句话要大调整）

In addition, the internet also supply（supplies） the stage for merchants who can not find fitable（suitable，fit的话要双写t） purchaser. Nowdays, more and more merchants （加个are）willing to put their products information on the internet ,which can attract more attention and find out potential buyer though the internet. For instance, my friend, lived（living） in urban of jixi city（urban是城市的意思，你想用rural吧？）,in a harvest year, reaped thousands kilogrames（kilograms） of apple cannot been sold, because of local suffcient（sufficient） apple market（改成supply）, and he radically cannot make all the apples to be（to be去掉） sold in a satisfied（satisfying） price. After that, he put his apple information on the internet, and quickly someone called him to purchase all apples, which acknowledged the information from computer（这句从句是个什么意思？）. In one word（in a word）, it is necessary to pay more money on improving access to internet..

Every corn(coin) has two sides. Even though(????这里不用转折吧), being access to internet easier also bring us more problems, especiall(especially) (to) the children. The young child（children） who have not enough possessiveness to resist colourful（colorful） and gorgeous things on the computer which is（are） fresh for them, such as porn movies, pulp fictions or erotic photos and so on. Once they trapped in these things, boy（为什么只有boys？） might be tempted to commit crimes, or, if they are girls, engage in prostitution（这个有点武断）. From this perspective, people should not access to internet easier, but weighing looses and gains, I still agree that the government should spend more money on improving access to the internet.

楼主，恕我直言，你的文章有很多问题
1．        语法问题非常多。建议楼主多去看看关于定语从句、主谓一致和非谓语动词的用法。这些用法用得好在托福作文里面是很出彩的，但是楼主你基本上都用错了
2．        单词错误很多。有些应该是写得太急的拼写错误，不过有些比如加ed要双写，复数要改y为ies还是请楼主多注意
3．        语言有时候过于罗嗦，举的例子虽然有说明性但是总是感觉跳跃太快，有些结论过于武断
4．        楼主还要注意一下你的标点符号。为什么满篇满篇的逗号？其实很很多地方根本不用加逗号的
说得有点直，希望楼主不要生气。时间仓促，如果你觉得我有什么改的不对的地方，还请楼主联系我

s499992008UID: 2688967

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should live one city or in one country all their life instead of moving to live in different places
     When I am asked by other people whether people should live in one city or in one country all their life instead of moving to live in different places, I would answer that people in different period should have different chooses. Young people are more likely to live avrious places, whereas old people stand on the opposite side.
     To start with, young people are more lively and energetic, and enjoy  new atmosphere after they stay somewhere for a long time, as well as they like to pursue famous culture instead of unchangeable things. For instance, my neighboor’s son, xiaoming, graduated from college for 3 years, had already changed 4 places where they lived. I asked him why donnot you like to choose a permanent place to stay, and he said to me that new place means  friends, surronding, such these things are all different from before, which can bring them excitement, fresh feeling. For instance, moving a new place can acknowledge local culture, if you come to north from south in china, you can hear our local drama, twin spin;if you come to America from china, that you can touch the unique american culture, poping, hip-pop and so forth.
     On the contrary, old people are more steady and mature, and they already far away from the yong people’s period. Old people lack a bit of curiosity, nevertheless, add somewhat coldness. They willing to stay with the people who are familiar with each other, and they donot like to make new friends. I will give some light to this point. My grandpa usually go to center of activity, and he always play card, dance with the people whom have already recognized for 20 years. Also, the temper of some old people are strange, only are the familiar people aware of this kind of thing so that some unhappy things would not be happen. Take my grandpa as another example, he had a temper which he donot like to be criticize when he palyed the wrong card, and this thing would be avoided in the old environment because people around him all know his bad temper and they wouldnot to do that.
    In a nutshell, old people prefer to stay in one place, and young people prefer to move and live in different places.

yxb_25UID: 2758094

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should live one city or in one country all their life instead of moving to live in different places
     When I am asked by other people whether(whether 在这里省掉比较好）
people should live in one city or in one country all their life instead of moving to live in different places, I would answer that people in different period should have different chooses. Young people are more likely to live avrious places, whereas old people stand on the opposite side. 0 ~1 A8 l  l1 U# b
     To start with, young people are more lively and energetic, and enjoy  new atmosphere after they stay somewhere for a long time, as well as they like to pursue famous culture instead of unchangeable things. For instance, my neighboor’s son, xiaoming, graduated from college for 3 years, had already changed 4 places where they lived. I asked him why donnot you like to choose a permanent place to stay, and he said to (answered)
me that new place means
(new) friends, surronding (new surrounding), such these things are all different from before, which can bring them excitement, fresh feeling.
(这句感觉怪怪的）For instance, （怎么后面又来一个for instance啊？重复让人感觉有点罗嗦）moving a new place can acknowledge local culture, if you come to north from south in china, （是从南到北吧？改成这样比较好：if you go to the north China from south)you can hear our local drama, twin spin;if you come to America from china, (IF you come from China to the United States)that you can touch the unique american(American) culture, poping, hip-pop and so forth.   感觉这段举例有点罗嗦哦！如果能具体介绍一个例子就好了!
     On the contrary, (有critical thinking 的想法，很不错哦）old people are more steady and mature, and they already far away from the yong people’s period. Old people lack a bit of curiosity, nevertheless, add somewhat coldness. They willing to stay with the people who are familiar with each other, and they donot like to make new friends. I will give some light （ light？？有点莫名其妙啊！）to this point. My grandpa usually go to center of activity, and he always play card, dance with the people whom have already recognized for 20 years. (这句子有比较多问题啊，LZ在研究一下）Also, the temper of some old people are strange, only are the familiar people aware of this kind of thing so that some unhappy things would not be happen. Take my grandpa as another example, he had a temper which he donot like to be criticize when he palyed the wrong card, and this thing would be avoided in the old environment because people around him all know his bad temper and they wouldnot to do that.
    In a nutshell, old people prefer to stay in one place, and young people prefer to move and live in different places.


感觉LZ 的思路还是比较清晰的，就是感觉措辞不太准确，注意一下语法规则，建议LZ有空的话可以再重新修改文章，我很喜欢LZ的critical thinking，这个想法很好哦，通过反面例子来说明自己观点很不错。。

老王家的小猫UID: 2781258

When I am asked by other people whether people should live in one city or in one country all their life instead of moving to live in different places, I would answer that people in different period should have different chooses. Young people are more likely to live (in) various (various) places, whereas old people stand on the opposite side.
     To start with, young people are more lively and energetic, and enjoy  new atmosphere after they stay somewhere for a long time, as well as they like to pursue famous culture instead of unchangeable things. For instance, my neighbor’s son, xiaoming, graduated from college for 3 years, had already changed 4 places where they lived( where they lived 改为to live比较好). I asked him why don not you like to choose a permanent place to stay, and he said to me that new place means  friends, surrounding(surrounding), such these(such和these可以放在一起么) things are all different from before, which can bring them excitement, fresh feeling. For instance, moving a new place can acknowledge local culture, if you come to north from south in china, you can hear our local drama, twin spin; if you come to America from china, that you can touch the unique american culture, poping, hip-pop and so forth.
     On the contrary, old people are more steady and mature, and they already far away from the young people’s period. Old people lack a bit of curiosity, nevertheless, add somewhat coldness.(old people are more likely claim rather than full of curiosity.) They willing to stay with the people who are familiar with each other, and they don’t like to make new friends (instead of making new friends). I will give some light to this point. My grandpa usually goes to center of activity, and he always play card, dance with the people whom have already recognized for 20 years. Also, the temper of some old people are strange, only are the familiar people aware of this kind of thing so that some unhappy things would not be happen. Take my grandpa as another example, he had a temper which he donot like to be criticize when he palyed the wrong card, and this thing would be avoided in the old environment because people around him all know his bad temper and they wouldnot to do that. (其实后面打牌的例子可以和前面的例子放在一起讲呀，这样显得连贯一点~)   
In a nutshell, (taking their characteristics into account,) old people prefer to stay in one place, and young people prefer to move and live in different places.
(文章的结构很严谨，举的例子也比较生活化，但个人觉得在例子的叙述上可以在加工一下，现在句式都比较简单，呵呵)

s499992008UID: 2688967

Students who can keep their own rooms organized are more likely to succeed
My friend jack, is customed to organize his room when he is young with his mother education. Because of this well custome,jack slowly learned how to regulate himself well and how to cultivate his independent ability.And all these provided a substantial foundation for jack successful future.
      To start with, students who can keep their own rooms organized have the ability of regulating himself, and they know to give themself a warn in heart that they should concerntrate on learning when they have a relaxation for a long time; they are aware of what are advantages or disadvantages to them when they are in an unfamiliar surronding; as well as they know which kind of friend should be made. For instance, jack never play with his neighborhood young children who usually go to have a fight with other people and see porn movie and other violence movie.
     On the other hand, students who can keep their own rooms organized have the ability of making decisions by themself. For people who want to have a success, it is independent to have this kind of ability. In terms of people who maybe posses his own company in the future, it is inevitable to make decision what the goal should be setted down for the company. For example, when I was young, and I acompanied with my mother to shopping makets to buy clothes which my tmother decided to purchase which kind of clothe. After I grow up, I buy clothes myself.At first, the clothes which I bought can not satisfy me after a long time wearing, and it not happens on the clothes my mother bought for me. In another word, the decisions you make in your first or second time may not be smart, but with the experience increasing your decision will be more and more corrective.
     Last but not least, keeping rooms organized require more patience and persistance. It is easy to keep room organized 3 days,however, it is hard to keep it for 10 years. The features we obtained in the process of organizing room also may one factor which determine our success in the future.
     All in all, the benefits from organizing room can promote people success.

wtnwinUID: 2764194

My friend jack, is customed to organize his room when he is young with his mother education. Because of this well custome,jack slowly learned how to regulate himself well and how to cultivate his independent ability.And all these provided a substantial foundation for jack successful future..开篇见山，应先说明观点
      To start with, students who can keep their own rooms organized have the ability of regulating himself, and they know to give themself a warn in heart that they should concerntrate on learning when they have a relaxation for a long time; they are aware of what are advantages or disadvantages to them when they are in an unfamiliar surronding; as well as they know which kind of friend should be made. For instance, jack never play with his neighborhood young children who usually go to have a fight with other people and see porn movie and other violence movie. 缺乏经典生动的例子，语言表达技巧有待提高
4 ?3 h* g9 \! ~& L! T     On the other hand, students who can keep their own rooms organized have the ability of making decisions by themself. For people who want to have a success, it is independent to have this kind of ability. In terms of people who maybe posses his own company in the future, it is inevitable to make decision what the goal should be setted down for the company. For example, when I was young, and I acompanied with my mother to shopping makets to buy clothes which my tmother decided to purchase which kind of clothe. After I grow up, I buy clothes myself.At first, the clothes which I bought can not satisfy me after a long time wearing, and it not happens on the clothes my mother bought for me. In another word, the decisions you make in your first or second time may not be smart, but with the experience increasing your decision will be more and more corrective. . 结合自身很有特点
     Last but not least, keeping rooms organized require more patience and persistance. It is easy to keep room organized 3 days,however, it is hard to keep it for 10 years. The features we obtained in the process of organizing room also may one factor which determine our success in the future.总体在于言表带上有待提高，其他的还不错！！！还可以多讲几个例子！！
     All in all, the benefits from organizing room can promote people success.

s499992008UID: 2688967

126. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? There is nothing that young people can teach older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.   

    movies and television have negative effects than positive on young people
      While the economy is booming in recent years, the entertainment way of young people vary traditional from modern ways, such as watching televison, movies through internet. It is evident that these inventions indeed change our mind and make our life more convinient and plentiful, especially for the young people. Whether televison or movie have negative effects than positive effets, it is a dilemma choose. And if which one must be choosed to be correct one, i would stand on the side that televison and movie are more positive on young people.  
    To start with, televison and movie change the way of knowing outside the world, which enable us purse the fashion through them at home.The way of Stars wearing among all kinds of shows and various movie indicate the fashion culture to the audience unsecondly when we are watching them. For instance, NBA polo shirt have a good sell achievement in china, especially the Houston polo shirt.More important, a big portion of people who buy polo shirt are young generation.  
   On the other hand, it is televison and movies that prosper our daily life. Unlike the time before, when people get out of duty of work or shool, just can sit around table to talk about the events and topic with other people or his/her families. On the contrary, the people in the modern world, can just turn on the televison in any situation which have electricity, having a broaden programes to watch. Even thought televison donot have the programes they donot like to watch, they can watch the movies through the internet, such as the newest movies 2012, Avatar and so forth.  
     Last but not least, the corn has two sides. Televison and movie bring benefits for us, as well as drawbacks, especially to those young people who have not strong judegement which thing they should study or be far away from it. Violence and porn movie from these medias are harmful to young people, once the young people were indicted by these ‘attractive information’, and they may be walk on a crime road, if girls, maybe get into prostitution.
     All in all, the medias bring convinient and entertainmet for young people, but also bring the information which should not be known by young people at their age.

s499992008UID: 2688967

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s499992008UID: 2688967

Even though top grade is a signifcant exponent of student manifestation at school,it cannot evaluate a student quality overall and precisily.Well expression not just present record, but also many aspects,such as the positivity to difficult classes, the attribute of doing experiments. While I deem that it is better for students at university or in college to choose diffcult classes even if they cannot get top grades.
      To start with ,some difficut classes are qualified with ability of practical ability, however, the record of some classes can not reflect it impersonal. For instance,phamacy student have a course called drug agent as a optional course for phamacy students. The experiment demands students to utilise theory to practical operation, and to make new style of drug. The students can learn how to mix drug with oil into a ideal pattern, which is key point to influence whether the drug materials can be compressed into table plain. Nevertheless,it is impossible to reflect studens trully and bascly experiment handlement on paper.
       On the other hand,choosing diffcult course can promote students to think deeper. When students meet some problems to reach their goal,some people always try different ways to come out solutions,such as reading reffered materials, requesting help from teacher and so forth.Reading materials can encourage studens to consider more about their ways, which broaden students ideas indirectly.For some students,they willing to ask help form their classmates. For example,a student who is not good at english can request help from those students who are skilled in english to read reffered english materials.
      Though chossing diffcult course would bring benefits I mentioned above,the coin has two sides,it would spend students more time to reading materials,consulting with students and teacher,and even more important students would probably fail the exam that would have a bad effect on students mood,also occupying students time to get a nice record on other courses.In conclusion that ,students with sufficient time and confident solving the stuff questions should learn difficult courses.
      All in all,weighing gains and looses,I believe that students should choose difficult courses.

s499992008UID: 2688967

We all experienced the time which we must take a couple of hours to do some work after a hard day studying, except colldge time, yet homework as ather ways appeared in front of us, such as wring ethesis, doing research, and it gives us more choice which way to finish our homework.I deem that homework should be assigned depending on which subject students learned.  
       To start with, for a students who study Kongfu in institute of physical culture, the teacher donot need to assign homework for their students. We seldom see that a sport student write his homework in liabrary, wring about how to pass their ball, how to coperate with other members. Writing homework for them is not better rather than taking some outside activity, which they can hence tacit agreement, and this is what they cannot obtain from their homework. As swimming, one cannot compeletly just based on what the other people tought him to do or writing some homework about it, she/he must fall into water and try their best to pratice their swimming gesture, even though they cannot swim well in a short time, however, she can gain more experience for that which is more crucial to learn swimming in the future. Also, we never see a swimmer coath resign writing homework for their students.
     In addition, homework is a key role to keep students remembering their accdemic knowledge. For example, if English major student who donot go over the words are studied during the time, the words would quickly walked out from their head at evening, And it is homework that can play a crucial role to help students to rut these words into their head deeply. It is evident that a English major need their teacher plan some homework for them in time.  
    Moreover, nomater what major we pursued, it is acknowledged to know that our basic knowledge is mainly from our enormous homework since we are primary students. The child are always naughty and willing to play with other children, if not have homework to limit them, they maybe crazy about playing basketball, playing computer games and other anything else instead studying. In another word, homework provides a chance which students must to finish it.,or they would be punished by their teachers because of unfinished homework, and in this process the words are kept in mind. .  
   In a nutshell, the teacher should depend on the subject they tought to asign homework for their students.

bruce520UID: 2634940

We all experienced the time which we must take a couple of hours to do some work after a hard day studying, except colldge time, yet homework as ather ways appeared in front of us, such as wring ethesis, doing research, and it gives us more choice which way to finish our homework.I deem that homework should be assigned depending on which subject students learned.  & y/ ^0 F, u0 R: E1 \
       To start with, for a students who study Kongfu in institute of physical culture, the teacher donot need to assign homework for their students. We seldom see that a sport student write his homework in liabrary, wring about how to pass their ball, how to coperate with other members. Writing homework for them is not better rather than taking some outside activity【这也是homework啊！！】, which they can hence tacit agreement, and this is what they cannot obtain from their homework. As swimming, one cannot compeletly just based on what the other people tought him to do or writing some homework about it, she/he must fall into water and try their best to pratice【这个是名词吧】 their swimming gesture, even though they cannot swim well in a short time, however, she can gain more experience for that which is more crucial to learn swimming in the future. Also, we never see a swimmer coath resign writing homework for their students【你的homework的概念太狭隘了把，教练说回去之后再练一下那个姿势难道不是homework？】. ) t8 C; A) V" b" ?7 f
     In addition, homework is a key role to keep students remembering their accdemic knowledge. For example, if English major student who donot【分开嘛， 不用连，还多一个词多好啊】 go over the words are studied during the time, the words would quickly walked out from their head at evening, And it is homework that can play a crucial role to help students to rut these words into their head deeply. It is evident that a English major need their teacher plan some homework for them in time.  
6 S& Q$ ~; w8 |8 I. k    Moreover, nomater what major we pursued, it is acknowledged to know that our basic knowledge is mainly from our enormous homework since we are primary students. The child are always naughty and willing to play with other children, if not have homework to limit them, they maybe crazy about playing basketball, playing computer games and other anything else instead studying. In another word, homework provides a chance which students must to finish it., or they would be punished by their teachers because of unfinished homework, and in this process the words are kept in mind. .  
2 A" b# l) F' u4 U   In a nutshell, the teacher should depend on the subject they tought to asign homework for their students.
论证观点很新颖，但是没能很好地把握好，拼写错误很多哦