caoxuemei的作文帖

happyfaith2008UID: 2709856

3.17 独立写作 by caoxuemei( nowords)
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should live one city or in one country all their life instead of moving to live in different places.

I disagree that people should stay in one place through out the life for some reasons :
Firstly , moving to another place can experience distinctive things : new friends ,new cultures ,new climate and so on . Those  difference could expose a colorful of the world to people . In fact ,I am kind of moving person . when I were young , I lived in a small countryside for 15 years . Then I moved to a bigger city for attending a high school. In respect of the my hometown’s school did not offer drawing course which is what I really interest in .When graduated from that high school , I matriculated by one of the most famous academies then I went to the capital of my country .There are museums ,theaters , fashion shows , and exhibits , which all of them inspire my creativity . Now , I am a professional set designer living in a costal city in where I can enjoy plenty of sunshine and fresh air . My style of career bring me to almost all districts of my country---I make design for different place’s performance . I would be the citizen of the world ! Would not I ?
On the contrary , stay in one place for a long time would limit people’s thinking and negative affect on people’s future .In my hometown , some of my mates who are living in there stick to one routine day after day .They do not know what is drama ;they never enjoy a concert , even they never fall in love .It is not strange ,since the traditional life style of my hometown .The changeless situations mold isolated  personality .Those my friends can not accept people of color ,disregard other people who wear in fashion clothes .
Keeping moving and change profit not only the quality of life but also the horizontal of people . In sum ,I strongly encourage people moving .

葛岭泉UID: 2767397

I disagree that people should stay in one place through out the life for some reasons :% w. F7 s& ^( l3 w
Firstly , moving to another place can experience distinctive things : new friends ,new cultures ,new climate and so on . Those  difference could expose a colorful(colorful是形容词吧) of the world to people . In fact ,I am (+the) kind of moving person . when I were(was) young , I lived in a small countryside for 15 years . Then I moved to a bigger city for attending a high school. In respect of the (the fact that) my hometown’s school did not offer drawing course which is what I really interest in .When(after) graduated from that high school , I (+was) matriculated by one of the most famous academies (+and) then I went to the capital of my country .There are museums ,theaters , fashion shows , and exhibits , which all of them inspire my creativity . Now , I am a professional set designer living in a costal city in where I can enjoy plenty of sunshine and fresh air . My style of career bring me to almost all districts of my country---I make design for different place’s performance . I would be the citizen of the world ! Would not I ?% v9 F, Y' G( V- o9 u: ]3 }
On the contrary , stay(ing) in one place for a long time would limit people’s thinking and negative affect(affect是动词，这句句式可以调整下，或改成have negative effect) on people’s future .In my hometown , some of my classmates who are living in(in去掉) there stick to one routine day after day .They do not know what is drama ;they never enjoy（是不是改成“have never enjoyed”？） a concert , even they（and they even或者even did they,不知道even开头的倒装是不是这么用的） never fall in love .It is not strange ,since（since后面应该跟一个完整的句子的） the traditional life style of my hometown .The changeless situations mold isolated  personality .Those my （those 和 my都是形容friends的，不能这么并着用）friends can not accept people of color（什么叫people of color?） ,disregarding other people who wear in(in去掉) fashion clothes .
Keeping moving and change profit not only the quality of life but also the horizontal of people . In sum ,I strongly encourage people moving（encourage sb to do sth） .

首先谢谢你对我文章的修改，意见提的很中肯，而且我也知道 那些是我的缺点。谢谢你^_^


你的文章脉络还是清晰的
但有个挺明显的问题就是句式用法有些随意，可能有些句子不符合传统语法规范的，还有些倒装用法，并列，从句我也不确定
可以试着在句子和句子之间加些连接句，有些起承转合的作用，可能看起来会更加充实点
和我一样有些地方有中式英语的毛病，这些句子我们写完后有时间最好去查一下，看看老美怎么表达这个意思的，下次写时就可以提高了

caoxuemeiUID: 2629828

3.18
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions have more negative effects than positive effects on young people.

When it comes to televisions and movies , most of people think those mediums are influence young people so much .Yes ,indeed ,but I really disagree that those movies or televisions have more negative effects on young people .There are several reasons following :

Firstly , I should say that we can not deny that movies and televisions bring young people tons of information .That not only includes knowledge or scientific news ,but also enroll life classes .For example , my little brother, he is 17 years old .As same as some rebellious youth , he hate study , do not respect elder .This is kind of a big problem for my family .But recently , my parents find that he is changing . He hear what my parents are saying , and go home in time .You can not imagine how exiting my parents are .Once I ask him what change his mind ,he said ,he saw a movie that is about a boy who be adopted when he was a baby .The adopter who is very poor try to give the boy the best ,as better as the adopter can . My little brother be very touched .Via the contents of movies , he understand what are parents . As you know , most of young live in the world which the gap between each other became larger and larger .They need some emotional care .

May some people say there are some contents on movies or televisions which spread violence or smuttiness .Yes ,we can not neglect those ,but I think the selection of channels or movies is adults’ business .They should teach the youth watching movies in right way .
On the other hand , the flourish of information which movies and televisions provide   can supply youth various culture which can broad horizon .It means that young people would not be limited in leaning from textbooks by which those young people just could get dated and striped things . The best way that young people leaning is contact the methods with the vivid realistic world . There is no better instruments than movies and televisions .

For those brief proofs, I think you would stand on my side that movies and televisions effect on youth in positive than negative .

speedzshawUID: 2556376

3.17 修改 by speedzshaw

qy10166341UID: 2653519

3.18 修改 by 平常心
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions have more negative effects than positive effects on young people.
. l0 ^/ w5 K, [3 @3 ~/ I
When it comes to televisions and movies , most of people think those mediums are influence young people so much .Yes ,indeed ,but However, I really disagree that those movies or televisions have more negative effects on young people .There are several reasons following (个人认为开头还可以再丰富一点，不行背点模版):2

D Firstly, I shouldwould say that we should not deny that movies and televisions bring young people tons of useful information .That not only includes knowledge or scientific news, but also enroll life classes .For example, my little brother, he is 17 years old .As same as some rebellious youth , he hate study and do not respect elder .This is kind of a big problem for my family .But recently , my parents find that he is changing . He hear what my parents are saying, and go home on time .You can not imagine how exciting my parents are .Once I ask him what change his mind, he said that he saw a movie that was about a boy who be adopted when he was a baby .Although the adopter was very poor, he also try his best to give the boy as better as the adopter can . My little brother was touched by this movie. Via the contents of movies, he understands how great his parents are. As you know, most of young live in the world which the gap between each other became larger and larger .They need some emotional care.(个人觉得这句话可以修改成，Sometimes, good movies can teach young people to understand a lot of important life principals)
、



T# n* F* K6 Z
Secondly, some people may say that there are some violent and smutty contents in movies or televisions. Although some unhealthy contents can not be neglected, I think the selection of channels or movies is adults’ business .They are responsible to teach the youth watching movies in right way .(可以再继续多写点父母如何帮助选择，或者深入写现在的电视节目和电影是分级的)

Moreover,
d the flourish of information which movies and televisions can provide  youth various culture which can broad their horizon .It means that young people would not be limited in leaning knowledge from textbooks. young people just could get dated and striped things . The best way for young people leaning is to contact the methods with the vivid realistic world. There are no better instruments than movies and televisions.



I4 b( |' v( [" a$ j$ g2 _
For those brief proofs, I think you would stand on my side that movies and televisions give more positive impact on youth
总的来说，有些长句的语法错误太多，我改的时候非常头疼，因为我的语法知识也不好。还有一些单词的词性要注意，其他没什么了，加油！.

qy10166341UID: 2653519

caixuemei 3.18作文修改BY 平常心.doc (33 KB, 下载次数: 9)

2010-3-19 15:17:02 上传

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你可以下载这个word版本的修改稿件

3.18 号 的修改文

holyiriniUID: 2741598

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions have more negative effects than positive effects on young people.5 V% h4 j3 J5 X9 x7 ~- W' H
+ D" m: i* w8 k9 k2 S
When it comes to televisions and movies , most of people think those mediums are influence 【influencing】young people so much .Yes ,indeed ,but【感觉这里没有转折关系吧。】 I really disagree that those movies or televisions have more negative effects on young people .There are several reasons following :
7 w3 s$ W- r  I, g, ]: S
9 g5 c: g7 @$ E/ KFirstly , I should say that we can not deny that movies and televisions bring young people tons of information .That not only includes knowledge or scientific news ,but also enroll life classes .For example , my little brother, he is 17 years old .As same as some rebellious youth , he hate study【studying】
, do not respect the elder .This is kind of a big problem for my family .But recently my parents find that he is changing. He hears what my parents are saying, and goes home in time .You can not imagine how exiting my parents are .Once 【这句是过去时吧】I ask him what change his mind ,he said ,he saw a movie that is about a boy who be【was】
adopted when he was a baby .The adopter who is very poor try to give the boy the best, as better as the adopter can. My little brother be very touched .Via the contents of movies, he understand what are parents【这句表达不对。中式英语。】. As you know, most of young live in the world which the gap between each other became larger and larger .They need some emotional care.
  g3 h" D# S3 K) A4 c; M$ C$ w) R* [, N; x
May【问句吗？为什么提前？】 some people say there are some contents on movies or televisions which spread violence or smuttiness .Yes, we can not neglect those, but I think the selection of channels or movies is adults’ business .They should teach the youth watching movies in right way.

# Q" W0 Q! Z& e) OOn the other hand , the flourish of information which movies and televisions provide  can supply youth various culture which can broaden horizon .It means that young people would not be limited in leaning from textbooks by which those young people just could get dated and striped things . The best way that young people leaning is contact【不明白。】 the methods with the vivid realistic world . There is no better instruments than movies and televisions.. \2 L& ^+ l+ N# ~
5 b6 {$ t) P% N' |6 a5 W
For those brief proofs, I think you would stand on my side that movies and televisions effect on youth in positive than negative.

【表达基本就是中式英文。语法方面得加强了，一些简单的语法要熟悉，比如说单复数，比如说主从句时态要一致。而且我感觉观点主观性口语化太强了吧。对于他们好处的这个观点，只有一个论据论证了，是提供了很多信息，但是例子给的是小男孩从电影里学到孝顺父母的例子，和论点有点不太紧密。童鞋最好先从简单的句子表达入手训练吧，不要追求语言，先把观点罗列出来，然后一个个用英文讲清楚了，再修饰语句。中文式的英语太明显了。继续努力吧~加油↖(^ω^)↗】

caoxuemeiUID: 2629828

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Printed books have greater effects on society than television has.
As the advent of various mediums ,some people prefer getting information from televisions or something else which can work quickly .But on the other hand , traditional style ,like reading books ,is also popular in some other people . As far as I am concern , by more specialize and more original , printed books retain heavier influence than television.
Firstly ,the academic information always come from printed books ;the main purpose of program on televisions is amusing audients, so they rarely mention about the real serious subjects .For instance, I major in drama .The better way to study is getting inspiration from classical work .In despite of there are several channels on TV, but I cannot find out even one talking about drama in serious . So I go to library .There are tons of records about classical work ,includeing pictures , articles ,even some sketches which made by some renowned artists .It is so cool .I can get something that really helpful for me ! Thus , I cannot say that televisions have greater affects on me than printed books have .
In addition, the printed book are the origination of programs of the television . Like most of  plays about Chinese Konfu, those are originated from novels . Indeed , they are totally two different styles ,but I prefer the original one .On one hand , the novel can let imagination run wild .For instance , you can picture a devil’s face or a violent scene in your mind when you are reading a fiction .Those are kind of personal .You will not be engrain by any idea which has been explained by professional producer . One the other hand , essential resources can express the author’s idea more accurate than programs do .For example , the arrangements ,the words which the author chose , the rhythm of the sentences ,those contain the author’s emotion . For all of those reasons , I embrace the original .
To sum up ,academic information and origination are important than entertainment in daily life , that mean we can get more from printed books than televisions .So we cannot say that televisions have more affects on people than printed books.

yan121UID: 2415099

As（with比较好吧 貌似as后面要加从句的） the advent of various mediums（表示媒体一般要用media吧？media就是medium的复数） ,some people prefer getting information from televisions or something else which can work quickly （这个表义有点模糊呃 如果要表示效率 不妨用which can convey information more efficient）.But（but和on the other hand是同个意思吧？可以去掉but） on the other hand , traditional style（比较偏造型和形态的意思
用method或者way会比较好哦）, like reading books ,is also popular in（among可能比较好哦）some（可去掉）other people . As far as I am concerned , by more specialize and more original（呃 不知道这句是什么意思 语法问题）, printed books retain heavier（额 更大的影响要用bigger吧？）influence than television.

Firstly ,the academic information always come from printed books ;the main purpose of program on televisions is amusing audients（英文名词audience）, so they rarely mention about the real serious subjects .For instance, I major in drama .The better way to study is getting（时态要一致哦 应用to get） inspiration from classical work. In despite of（despite后面可接从句 in spite of后面应接名词 且不能与but连用）there are several（several用于表示很多还有点少哦 many比较多）channels on TV, but（去掉） I cannot find out even one （seriously放这里比较好）talking about drama in serious . So I go to library .There are tons of records about classical work , including pictures , articles ,even some sketches which（可去掉 后面部分作为后置定语） made by some renowned artists .It is so cool .I can get something that really helpful for me ! Thus , I cannot say that televisions have greater affects on me than printed books have .

In addition, the（去掉 加定冠词是指某些特定的书吧）printed book are the origination of programs of（on） the television . Like most of plays about Chinese Kong Fu（, those 可去掉） are originated from novels . Indeed , they are totally two different styles（type to get knowledge..改成这样是不是比较顺呢？） ,but I prefer the original one .On one hand , the（加了定冠词就指特定的书了 要指某一类还是用novels比较好吧？） novel can let imagination run wild .For instance , you can picture a devil’s face or a violent scene in your mind when you are reading a fiction. Those are kind of personal .You will not be engrain by any idea which has been explained by professional producer . One the other hand , essential resources can express the author’s idea more accurate than programs do .For example , the arrangements ,the words which the author chose , the rhythm of the sentences ,those contain the author’s emotion . For all of those reasons , I embrace the original（觉得最好还是讲完整哦 用original取代读书虽然大家能明白 但是读起来还是比较奇怪的）. （例子举得不错哦 贴切又形象）

To sum up ,academic information and origination are important than entertainment in daily life,（额 这话说得有点武断了 可能很多人都不是这样觉得的呢） that mean we can get more from printed books than televisions .So we cannot say that televisions have more affects on people than printed books.

首先，语法和遣词造句方面有点问题哦，嘻嘻 有些chienglish..譬如形容词、单复数、从句的用法等等；还有就是注意不要写得过于口语化 像it is so cool这种写成it is so cool that..可能比较好些；论证还是比较清晰的，而且例子很贴近生活很形象很好；首段和尾端稍微水了一点，至少应该在之中略微提一下你为什么这样觉得吧，单表明立场单薄了一些。加油！keep going！

pochun111UID: 2608867

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Printed books have greater effects on society than television has.
As the advent of various mediums ,some people prefer getting information from televisions or something else which can work quickly .But on the other hand , traditional style ,like reading books ,is also popular in some other people . As far as I am concern , by more specialize and more original  严重语法错误 改成 不要sustaining more specialized(accurate) and original merits, printed books retain heavier influence than television.本段其他改动处与楼上一致
Firstly ,the academic information always come from printed books ;the main purpose of program on televisions is amusing audients, so they rarely mention about the real serious subjects .For instance, I major in drama .The better   best way to study is getting inspiration from classical work .In despite of there are several channels on TV, but I cannot find out even one talking about drama in serious . So I go to library .There are tons of records about classical work ,includeing pictures , articles ,even some sketches which made by some renowned artists .It is so cool .I can get something that really helpful for me 改成 are really helpful to me ! Thus , I cannot say that televisions have greater affects on me than printed books have .其他改动同上
In addition, the printed books are the origination of programs of the television . Like most of  plays about Chinese Konfu, those are originated from novels . Indeed , they are 这个they are 与前面的有些貌似 所以这句话表达说更具体些会好totally two different styles ,but I prefer the original one .On one hand , the novel can let imagination run wild    make…….For instance , you can picture a devil’s face or a violent scene in your mind when you are reading a fiction .Those 改成，whichare kind of personal .You will not be engrain by any idea which has been explained by professional producer . One  on the other hand , essential resources can express the author’s idea more accurate than programs do .For example , the arrangements ,the words which the author chose , the rhythm of the sentences ,allthose contain the author’s emotion . For all of those reasons , I embrace the original form 或任何能描述读书宾语. 其他改动同上
To sum up ,academic information and origination are important than entertainment in daily life , that means, we can get more from printed books than televisions .So we cannot say that televisions have more affects on people than printed books.
既然只举两个例子 每个上面花的篇幅更大些的话 会显得更有说服力 也更充分 还有你的句子读起来有问题的比较多 多看看范文也许会好吧

caoxuemeiUID: 2629828

Do you agree or disagree that improving schools is the most factor in successful development of country.
The development of county is up to various aspects of a country, involving economy, culture, industry, agriculture and so on. As a university student, I think that the function of schools plays a critical role in development of country. It means improved schools is the most factor in successful development of country.

First of all, successful educational system provides science and technology to citizens. The correlation between technology and success of country “is surprisingly strong”, observed University of Beijing economist in one economy of international study. Our society abounds with the example. For instance, my hometown where set at countryside in Hebei province, once is a prosperity state with producing plastics. Yet they do not try to invest in education, study new technology or new material, meeting the update markets need. Meanwhile, it make their youth drop out of school and work in factories ; The knowledge and development are ignored.  In the more than 20 years since then, while other places of Hebei province have had a drastic change in the industry and economy, my hometown is still in economic stagnation. Such a vivid example that evokes the principle: giving up study is to give up development .

Moreover, the knowledge that schools give broadens horizon. From sociology to history, from economics to psychology, schools expose various fields to students. Thus people who attend classes could keep themselves informed of what is going on in the world, and avoid being limited. History has filled with these miserable examples. Such as the destruction of the Qing Dynasty by cling to dated society to prove that backward knowledge and limited thought can vanquish a whole country.

Finally, with education keep improving, cultural qualities of the people could constantly be improved. The people more peaceful, the country more stable, then the nation would more prosperous. Compare A family with harsh surroundings to B family with harmonious environment: A family could not communicated with each other well; and fight with each other all day, then no one focuses on the construction of the family. B family with a close relationship concentrate on the family’s strength in a united effort to meet the all of the problems which the family face. Then the result  is loomed ,B family have being developed well than A family.The homFamily is a microcosm of a country.

To sum up, technology, broaded horizon, up-dated thought, and cultural qualities of the people are all benefited from the schools improving. Therefore, improving schools is the most factor in successful development of country.

caoxuemeiUID: 2629828

Teachers should not show their political or social views known in the classroom.7 Y% H% h5
Both of Political and social views are sensitive topics. So when it comes to whether teacher show their political or social views in classroom, people have a wide of opinions. Depending on different personal experience and motional concern, a fair proportion of people think that showing these views have negative affects on students’ idea. Meanwhile, others disagree. As a university student, I think both of those ideas that negative or positive influence have probability. It is basic on what aspects on the political or social topics the teacher mention, and how far teachers could talk about.

On the one hand, teachers properly exposed ideas to students by which could broaden students’ horizon, and pave the way for future study. Take myself for example: when I was in middle school, I had knew few about the colonization of Europe until my English teacher talked about some basic definitions and ideas about it on class. This helps me to picture a outline about the Europe history before I could contact with it. Furthermore, those teacher’s ideas would be a channel to direct student to thinking. Like the English teacher I mentioned, I began thinking about how the colony formed, why a county prefer colonize others and so on. For youths, keeping think is best teacher.
One the other hand, there are also some advantages on the issue. If teacher provided a extremely viewpoint to students, students who attend the class tended to be rather baffled, or even be effected negatively. For instance, I had a classmate when I was in middle school. He fight with a Japanese in a mall, because his teacher told several times to students that all of Japanese are devils. Then some students begin hating all of the Japanese.
In conclusion, students are not sophisticated enough to judge political or social phenomena, so giving correct guidance to them is the principle of the issue. If teachers followed the low, in my opinion, showing political or social ideas was not a redoubtable enemy.

zhisnoopyUID: 2703722

The development of county is up to various aspects of a country, involving economy, culture, industry, agriculture and so on. As a university student, I think that the function of schools plays a critical role in development of country. It means improved schools is the most factor in successful development of country.   l, G7 B% e2 P/ L' a$ @

First of all, successful educational system provides science and technology to citizens. The correlation between technology and success of country “is surprisingly strong”（好漂亮的句子呀~~~）, observed University of Beijing economist in one economy of international study. Our society abounds with the example. For instance, my hometown where set at countryside in Hebei province, once is a prosperity state with producing plastics. Yet they do not try to invest in education, study new technology or new material, meeting（meet吧，这是三个并列宾语嘛？） the update markets need. Meanwhile, it makes their youth drop out of school and work in factories ; The knowledge and development are ignored.  In the more than 20 years since then, while other places of Hebei province have had a drastic change in the industry and economy, my hometown is(前半句不是现在完成时嘛？) still in economic stagnation. Such a vivid example that evokes the principle: giving up study is to give up development（漂亮~~~） .A- U

Moreover, the knowledge that schools give broadens horizon. From sociology to history, from economics to psychology, schools expose various fields to students（漂亮~）. Thus people who attend classes could keep themselves informed of what is going on in the world, and avoid being limited. History has filled with these miserable examples. Such as the destruction of the Qing Dynasty by cling to dated society to prove that backward knowledge and limited thought can vanquish a whole country. * m$ z% A$ N" _) o/ [+ ~; x  ^
' ~9 H9 j+ l0 w/ p

Finally, with education keep improving, cultural qualities of the people could constantly be improved. The people more peaceful, the country more stable（the more，the more我记得是这样写的：the more peaceful the people are, the more stable the country will be.）, then the nation would more prosperous. Compare A family with harsh surroundings to B family with harmonious environment: A family could not communicated with each other well; and fight with each other all day, then no one focuses on the construction of the family. B family with a close relationship concentrate on the family’s strength in a united effort to meet the all of the problems which the family face. Then the result  is loomed ,B family have being developed well than A family.The homFamily is a microcosm of a country. (话说我觉得这个例子没能说明这段的论点啊？)

M4 q
To sum up, technology, broaded horizon, up-dated thought, and cultural qualities of the people are all benefited from the schools improving. Therefore, improving schools is the most factor in successful development of country.

caoxuemeiUID: 2629828

Teachers should not show their political or social views known in the classroom.7 Y% H% h5
Both of Political and social views are sensitive topics. So when it comes to whether teacher show their political or social views in classroom, people have a wide of opinions. Depending on different personal experience and motional concern, a fair proportion of people think that showing these views have negative affects on students’ idea. Meanwhile, others disagree. As a university student, I think both of those ideas that negative or positive influence have probability. It is basic on what aspects on the political or social topics the teacher mention, and how far teachers could talk about.

On the one hand, teachers properly exposed ideas to students by which could broaden students’ horizon, and pave the way for future study. Take myself for example: when I was in middle school, I had knew few about the colonization of Europe until my English teacher talked about some basic definitions and ideas about it on class. This helps me to picture a outline about the Europe history before I could contact with it. Furthermore, those teacher’s ideas would be a channel to direct student to thinking. Like the English teacher I mentioned, I began thinking about how the colony formed, why a county prefer colonize others and so on. For youths, keeping think is best teacher.
One the other hand, there are also some advantages on the issue. If teacher provided a extremely viewpoint to students, students who attend the class tended to be rather baffled, or even be effected negatively. For instance, I had a classmate when I was in middle school. He fight with a Japanese in a mall, because his teacher told several times to students that all of Japanese are devils. Then some students begin hating all of the Japanese.
In conclusion, students are not sophisticated enough to judge political or social phenomena, so giving correct guidance to them is the principle of the issue. If teachers followed the low, in my opinion, showing political or social ideas was not a redoubtable enemy.

crazyluUID: 2628382

我把26号的作业写成25号的了:L 看到你25号的组就两个人，不知能不能加到你们组，咱们三个互改呢

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1075143&pid=1773778347&page=1&extra= =在地板）