Argument7 2010.03.20

明天的鞋子UID: 2639625

水平问题，第一篇A写了三个多小时，极度郁闷~~~


Argument 7: The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.

“In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environment problems in Clearview will certainly be solved.”

提纲：
一、1.工厂数量翻了一番并不意味着环境问题将会恶化
2.同时，文章中指出“空气污染水平增加了”，增加的幅度大小并未言明；即便是污染得很严重，也并不代表是政府政策方针出了问题，有可能是别国或别的地区的污染转移~~~
3.患呼吸道疾病病人人数增多有很多原因，不一定是环境问题

二、4.因为当前的市委成员没有保护我们的环境不代表Frank Braun继任后不会保护环境；
5.隶属于the Good Earth Coaltion，不代表Ann Green上任后有能力改变环境问题



WORDS: 413

The letter states that residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council. To support this conclusion, the writer illustrates that both the number of factories and the levels of air pollution have increased, meanwhile, the local hospital has treated 25 percent patients with respiratory illnesses as well. The writer also emphasizes that if Ann Green was elected, the environment problems in Clearview will definitely disappear. This conclusion is based on problematic reasoning and fails to convince on any level.


First of all, the fact that the number of factories in Clearview has doubled seems to be the reason why air pollution levels have increased, however, that is unreasonable. As the environment problem is getting worse and worse nowadays, more and more people have realized that the environment-friendly enterprises are badly needed. Thus, the more such kind factories are built, the better future Clearview will usher in. From this perspective, It may not be a bad thing that the number of factories has increased rapidly. Secondly, the letter states that the air pollution levels have increased, it’s undeniable that the environment has the self-purification ability, so the increase of air pollution levels within a certain range is affordable. Even if the pollution problem is serious, it doesn’t mean that the Clearview town council has made some wrong decisions. For example, how can we blame the Government of JiNan city, which is in the lower reaches of the Yellow River, for the river pollution caused by LanZhou city in the upper reaches area? In addition, no one knows whether those 25 percent patients with respiratory illnesses in the local hospital are residents of Clearview, what if they are victims of the environment pollution of other city and are transferred here for treatment?


Even if it is true that the current members are not protecting the environment and let it get worse, this doesn’t mean that Frank Braun, who is also a member of the of the Clearview town council, can’t do a good job in solving the environment problems. On the contrary, as a member of the Good Earth Coalition, Ann Green does not necessarily save of the city from heavy-pollution.


In summary, the argument fails to convince without sufficient evidence presented to show that Frank Braun doesn’t qualify and make people believe that Ann Green is the best candidate for mayor of Clearview.

showkidUID: 2427308

The letter states that residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council. To support this conclusion, the writer illustrates that both the number of factories and the levels of air pollution have increased, meanwhile, the local hospital has treated 25 percent patients with respiratory illnesses as well. The writer also emphasizes that if Ann Green was elected, the environment problems in Clearview will definitely disappear. This conclusion is based on problematic reasoning and fails to convince on any level.

First of all, the fact that the number of factories in Clearview has doubled seems to be the reason why air pollution levels have increased, however, that is unreasonable. As the environment problem is getting worse and worse nowadays, more and more people have realized that the environment-friendly enterprises are badly needed. Thus, the more such kind factories are built, the better future Clearview will usher in. From this perspective, It may not be a bad thing that the number of factories has increased rapidly. Secondly, the letter states that the air pollution levels have increased, it’s undeniable that the environment has the self-purification ability, so the increase of air pollution levels within a certain range is affordable. Even if the pollution problem is serious, it doesn’t mean that the Clearview town council has made some wrong decisions.（
如果改为：Even if the air pollution levels are out of the certain rang and having already led to a serious pollution yet, there is no evidence to support this result is due to the Clearview town council. There are some alternative explanations.逻辑更加流畅吧？） For example, how can we blame the Government of JiNan city, which is in the lower reaches of the Yellow River, for the river pollution caused by LanZhou city in the upper reaches area? In addition, no one knows whether those 25 percent patients with respiratory illnesses in the local hospital are residents of Clearview, what if they are victims of the environment pollution of other city and are transferred here for treatment?(对于病人的数据，原文期望说明是污染增加而引起的病症增加，从而证明污染环境影响比较大。如果说是可能是由于当地特殊的天气而引起的不是更好？这样此逻辑就不通了。)

Even if it is true that the current members are not protecting the environment and let it get worse, this doesn’t mean that Frank Braun, who is also a member of the of the Clearview town council, can’t do a good job in solving the environment problems. On the contrary, as a member of the Good Earth Coalition, Ann Green does not necessarily save of the city from heavy-pollution.（此段应该展开吧。比如说，FB人也许原来就赞成保护环境的，只是原来的议会里面大多数人反对罢了。AG也同样可以展开。）

In summary, the argument fails to convince without sufficient evidence presented to show that Frank Braun doesn’t qualify and make people believe that Ann Green is the best candidate for mayor of Clearview.

第一篇写的已经很完整的感觉了，好处我就不多说了，主要还是说问题吧（仅供参考，呵呵~）：
1.
是否可以让总的行文逻辑更明晰？初步来看似乎采取的是让步式的哈。
2.
是否可以把握好文章结构的和谐，也就是段落长短的平衡以及上文说的行文逻辑。
3.
是否能够区分主要逻辑错误和次要逻辑错误，即：必然逻辑错误和或然逻辑错误。

PS:我也是写了第一篇，写得更恶心，我上来根本就写不出英文，还是先写出来中文，之后才“翻译”完成的。一块加油哈！祝周末愉快！


顺带附上我的分析吧，希望对你有帮助~