[big fish] 3月22日 ARGUMENT5 by wowoyuweiwei

wowoyuweiweiUID: 2754055

The author tells us from the survey, the number of people in their country with some form of arthritis will rise to 60 million which is 20 million more than now.
And the patent of BP which produces Xenon will expires in three years. For these reasons, the company called PP may be the most profitable which will create a new kind medicine for a certain kind of arthritis. After reading this, I find it is not logically. The reasons given can not effectively support the writer's prediction.

At first, we should not easily predict that for the rising number of arthritis patient will be profitable because the people may not decide to buy the drugs. Here are some possibilities. First, the people with this disease were not reach enough to afford the high price and, to the worse, neither the government nor institutions would like to pay for it. Second, the drugs may be harmful to other organs. For this reason, the patient will choose other ways to heal.

Even if pharmaceutical companies should be very profitable, we could not say that the BP will still be the best one in ten years. It is now that the drugs from BP are the best-selling in the country. But nobody knows what will happen in the future. Perhaps there is a great economic problem caused by other things which lead this company breaking down. Therefore, it won't be the most profitable one.

Next, although the patent will expire in three years, it does not mean other pharmaceutical companies can produce cheaper drugs. As we know, the prime cost is one of the most factors influence the benefit. So, maybe the experience gained in these past years has already helped BP find the most cheaper way to produce which is still unknown to other companies after three years. Considering this, BP may keep leading the market.

Finally, even if the PP can invent new drug, but it only treat one kind of arthritis. However, most people are with other kinds. This could probably result that PP earn nothing from their own products.

In summary, the writer should give obvious evidence to show that the pharmaceutical companies will really gain great money. And make readers believe that the BP will still work. Then, there should have been some surveys to show that just after three years, when BP's patent gets public, other companies can easily and quickly produce this drug in the same or even cheaper way. Furthermore, the author should give evidences that the new drugs of PP can treat most the patient.

jjooyyUID: 2704028

The author tells us from the survey, the number of people in their country with some form of arthritis will rise to 60 million which is 20 million more than now.
And the patent of BP which produces Xenon will expires in three years. For these reasons, the company called PP may be the most profitable which will create a new kind medicine for a certain kind of arthritis. After reading this, I find it is not logically. The reasons given can not effectively support the writer's prediction. 题目没有简写，至少第一遍要写清楚吧

At first, we should not easily predict that for the rising number of arthritis patient will be profitable because the people may not decide to buy the drugs. Here are some possibilities. First, the people with this disease were not reach enough to afford the high price and, to the worse, neither the government nor institutions would like to pay for it. Second, the drugs may be harmful to other organs. For this reason, the patient will choose other ways to heal.

Even if pharmaceutical companies should be very profitable, we could not say that the BP will still be the best one in ten years. It is now that the drugs from BP are the best-selling in the country. But nobody knows what will happen in the future. Perhaps there is a great economic problem caused by other things which lead this company breaking down. Therefore, it won't be the most profitable one.

Next, although the patent will expire in three years, it does not mean other pharmaceutical companies can produce cheaper drugs. As we know, the prime cost is one of the most factors influence the benefit. So, maybe the experience gained in these past years has already helped BP find the most cheaper way to produce which is still unknown to other companies after three years. Considering this, BP may keep leading the market.

Finally, even if the PP can invent new drug, but it only treat one kind of arthritis. However, most people are with other kinds. This could probably result that PP earn nothing from their own products. 这段太少了吧

In summary, the writer should give obvious evidence to show that the pharmaceutical companies will really gain great money. And make readers believe that the BP will still work. Then, there should have been some surveys to show that just after three years, when BP's patent gets public, other companies can easily and quickly produce this drug in the same or even cheaper way. Furthermore, the author should give evidences that the new drugs of PP can treat most the patient.

你总是不贴题目，让我找好久啊。。
楼主什么时候考试？
不要太模板，每天看模板，考官怎么可能不厌烦呢
论证还欠详细，可以多研究一下ETS的范文～