第一篇独立作文BY DAISYTWINS

DaisyTwinsUID: 2797670

很久很久没动笔了估计语法上会有很多问题，望大伙狠批。头一次考托福7月份开战。。磨磨蹭蹭到现在才开始动笔惭愧啊不知道如何加入小组耶？

4.21 (09.12.4 北美)
Do you think people should buy things made in their own country; even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else.

It‘s becoming a sensitive topic that abundant lobbyists debate for during nowadays economic depression. Some economists warned their governments under the crisis tend to actualize trade protection to contribute its economic recovery would be a false decision, others opinion opposite.

People who would distort the meaning of patriotism general thought purchasing the own country’s commodity as the way to love their nation. Any other foreign made products would not be considered,whereas people would keen on paying the bills for those same conditions but own country made. In this situation, price would no longer the most significant factor people care about. Unfortunately, people would afford heavy stress due to they would spend more expenses than regular from the expensive commodity price. Moreover, the quality of life probably would be decreased by saving money in other non-necessary goods such as cutting down the times of dine-out,choosing to borrow DVD instead of going to cinema, and no more overseas travel. People’s these kind of behaviors actually do not help the economic developed.Government would gain revenue from the higher import tax when the foreign products import in this country. If there is no market to sharing with, a majority of foreign companies would not export their goods to this nation. That is to say, the government would loss the duty that charge from these overseas goods. Otherwise, to reduce the labor cost many domestic enterprises would choose to process the product in developing countries to obtain the maximum profits.

To sum up, it would be good for consumer that substantial of products they can choose to with competitive price. People would not pay extra money and receive the same quality thing they desire. To achieve a good reputation for a company to against other competitors, many sales would also offer well-organized after-sell service which is good news for our consumer. 字数 330

jiang08UID: 2391146

作文小组看这里：
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;page=1&extra=

DaisyTwinsUID: 2797670

Attending class and assigning homework are the basic component part as an eligibility student. Teacher generally evaluates a good student based on their grade. Naturally, teacher believe the only way to increase student’s score is constant practice in the daily life. Student would find the difficulty they may have and mistake they made through the daily assignment. A majority of people support this state; personally, I might doubt student who gain high grade only because of daily homework.
  
In the secondary school, I realized homework can helps us to refresh what we have learned from school and assists us to understand what has been taught in the class. When student in the college, homework can be more flexible and selectable due to student has their different major, they can effectively organize their schedule. Student can spend more time on a class they are not good at and skip the homework from a class they already knew.

Anything, if overload would cause a negative effect. Nowadays,heavy homework already limits student off campus life. Except the class hours, student might be spend extra 3-4 hours on their homework maybe longer depend on their study level even no matter the course student familiar with or not. Student has no other option to sacrifice their lifetime in a mass of homework instead of chatting with friends or dining with family. If every class teachers assign daily homework in the meantime and set up a specific deadline, student may bear a heavy load and must overwork to finish these much homework on time. Usually in the college study, lots of assignments needs abundant resources as background student can study for, unfortunately, in a short period to complete these brunches of assignments would be the most
factor student care about. In other word, teacher may unintentionally evaluate a student’s unreal ability.

Overall, if a student has enough time on doing research and preparing materials for a homework, it better for teacher to estimate this student work whereas daily homework just waste time and brings more stresses to student. （字数343）

missyoucrazyUID: 2745188

Attending class and assigning homework are the basic component part as an eligibility（eligible） student. Teacher generally evaluates a good student based on their grade. Naturally, teacher believe the only way to increase student’s score is constant practice in the daily life. Student would find the difficulties they may have and mistakes they made through the daily assignment. A majority of people support this state（我想statement会更好）; personally, I might doubt ability of the student who gain high grade only because of daily homework.
In the secondary school, I realized homework can help us refresh what we have learned from school and assist us to understand what has been taught in the class. While in the college, homework can be more flexible and selectable in respect that （due to 后不能跟句子）student has their different major, and they can effectively organize their schedule. Student can spend more time on a class they are not good at and skip the homework from a class they already knew.
Anything, if （不需要if吧 ）overload would cause a negative effect. Nowadays,heavy homework already limits student off campus life. Except the class hours, student might be（删去） spend extra 3-4 hours on their homework or maybe longer depending on their study level even no matter the courses whether student familiar with or not. Student has （no other options感觉这个短语用在这不当，删掉或者用其他的方式表达会好些） to sacrifice their lifetime in a mass of homework instead of chatting with friends or dining with family. If every class teachers assign daily homework in the meantime and set up a specific deadline, student may bear a heavy load and must overwork to finish these much homework on time. Usually in the college study, lots of assignments needs abundant resources as background student can study for, unfortunately, in a short period to complete these brunches of （没听过这个词）assignments would be the most factor student care about. In other words, teacher may unintentionally evaluate a student’s unreal ability.
Overall, if a student has enough time on doing research and preparing materials for a homework, it better for teacher to estimate this student‘s work whereas（这个转折词不是很恰当吧，这样会不会好些for the reason that exorbitant） daily homework just waste time and brings more stresses to student. （字数343）
我感觉你的主要问题是逻辑上有些模糊，应该多用些表示逻辑连接的词汇这样文章的结构就会更清晰，建议以后尝试建立自己的模板。另外语法上需要多注意一下。

wyl_stevenUID: 2728535

晕 批错了 我你22号作文当21号批了不好意思啊

wyl_stevenUID: 2728535

Attending class and assigning homework are the basic component parts as an eligibility eligible student.ATeacher generally evaluates a good student based on his grade. Naturally, teacher believe the only way to increase student’s score is constant practice in the daily life even though a Student would find the difficulty they may have and mistake they made through the daily assignment. A majority of people support this state(statement); personally, I might doubt student who gain high grade only because of daily homework.
( w. T' |4 I( Z8 ^  b; R  9 D! h9 Q) S% B, r: Q/ B, ^* K
In the secondary school, I realized homework can helps us to refresh what we have learned from school and assists us to understand what has been taught in the class. When a student in the college, homework can be more flexible and selectable due to student has their different major, they can effectively organize their schedule. Student can spend more time on a class they are not good at and skip the homework from a class they already knew. 4 [4 K& d8 \8 v4 \5 X
. D' h; {: J/ ^, G/ v1 m
Anything,   homework overloaded would cause a negative effect. Nowadays,heavy homework already limits student off campus life. Except the class hours, student might be spend extra 3-4 hours on their homework maybe longer depend on their study level even no matter the course student familiar with or not. Student has no other option to sacrifice their lifetime in a mass of homework instead of chatting with friends or dining with family. If every class teachers assign daily homework in the meantime and set up a specific deadline, student may bear a heavy load and must overwork to finish these much homework on time. Usually in the college study, lots of assignments needs abundant resources as background student can study for, unfortunately, in a short period to complete these brunches of assignments would be the most 9 z5 [2 n+ K7 L8 `
factor student care about. In other word, teacher may unintentionally evaluate a student’s unreal ability. & A1 ~/ K* V# H- o1 H. r

  J( s) B  Y8 v$ POverall, if a student has enough time on doing research and preparing materials for a homework, it better for teacher to estimate this student work otherwise daily homework just wastes time and brings more stresses to student.
逻辑有一些小问题 观点有点重复 加油加油

DaisyTwinsUID: 2797670

4.23政府是否應該放多的錢在 access internet 上，而是public transportation


Internet is developing at a speed which is quite unprecedented, numerous newest information come to people’s view when they push the start button. As the basic part of internal structure of a city, people cannot live without a completed public transportation. Therefore, I firmly convinced public transportation plays a much more crucial role in affecting people’s lives that government should invest more funds on it.

First of all, to establish a well-organized transportation system will helps citizens to save heaps of time on the road. Many metropolitans have serious traffic jam, all the vehicles are almost at a standstill in parts of the road during the rush hour. People cannot go home immediately after a full day work; students may spend extra time waiting for the bus after a long day class; police or ambulance may delay if emergency happens; and so forth. Residents are forced to acclimatize these inconveniences from the deficient public transit. Moreover, the traffic accident rate will getting higher if the numbers of vehicle is continually increasing and road conditions does not be improved.

Secondly, a faultless public transit would lead the surrounding areas developing the economic as well. People who live in rural can go out and have more opportunities to find a job in the city. Many factories could choose to move to suburb for reducing the environmental pollution in the city therefore which come into an industrial area.

For the conclusion, I think government should pay more attention on people’s privacy instead of exploiting on access internet. It goes without saying internet leads people out of a monotonous life. People can chat with others in different country, shop online without go out, and business from home replace to spend money on the rental. But, people may have a risk of divulging their personal information when they enjoy all the benefits the internet brings to them. Many people’s credit card information are stolen, personal privacy are emerged, commercial secrets loss, all of these damages because of internet its open-ended and all –inclusive function.
（字数335）

missyoucrazyUID: 2745188

Internet is developing at an unprecedented speed, and numerous newest information come to people’s view when they push the start button. As the basic part of internal structure of a city, people cannot live without a completed public transportation. Therefore, I firmly convinced public transportation plays a much more crucial role in affecting people’s lives that government should invest more funds on it. 8 ]! c) J. V8 d' E9 a
5 G. r3 ^' t! Z- i
First of all, to establish a well-organized transportation system will helps citizens to save heaps of time on the road. Many metropolitans have serious traffic jam;
all the vehicles are almost at a standstill in parts of the road during the rush hour. People cannot go home immediately after a full day work; students may spend extra time waiting for the bus after a long day class; police or ambulance may delay if emergency happens; and so forth. Residents are forced to acclimatize these inconveniences from the deficient public transit. Moreover, the traffic accident rate will getting higher if the numbers of vehicle is continually increasing and road conditions
are not
improved. * Q9 P, e& b! h4 p
  t; V  p) |/ {' I$ y' T7 A
Secondly, a faultless public transit would lead the surrounding areas developing the economic as well. People who live in rural can go out and have more opportunities to find a job in the city. Many factories could choose to move to suburb for reducing the environmental pollution in the city therefore which come into an industrial area. ; @% j9 a  P  b$ O. P/ d/ L
6 w3 v9 Y. W; g( H6 |3 N
In conclusion, I think government should pay more attention on people’s privacy instead of exploiting on access internet. Admittedly,(逻辑连接词会让结构更加清晰)It goes without saying internet leads people out of a monotonous life. People can chat with others in different country, shop online without go out, and business from home replace to spend money on the rental. But, people may have a risk of divulging their personal information when they enjoy all the benefits the internet brings to them. Many people’s credit card information are stolen, personal privacy are emerged, commercial secrets loss, all of these damages because of internet its open-ended and all –inclusive function. （最后一段大都是在论证网络的坏处，我想把网络的坏处作为中间论证部分会更好）9 Y) G. @9 S. O4 [
（字数335）
这一篇挺好的，每写一篇要注意总结，包括常用词同意替换，逻辑连接词，文章逻辑结构总结，并不断地修改出自己最满意的文章来，而不是只图数量，我想这样会提高很快。加油！！

DaisyTwinsUID: 2797670

4.25Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?8 j9 H1 s: O, |) A! O: Y) m
It’s better to watch serious movies that help people think than to watch movies that could amuse and entertain people4 Z" m; O( H) J


Nowadays,movie is gradually becoming a platform for enlightening people's thinking and leading people into some controversial issues, such as a large amount of subjects focus on wars, violence,and environmental. Therefore, some people agree that movie plays a crucial role to encourage people taking them social responsibility instead of making fun. However, I doubt this observation is too arbitrary from the following reasons.

To begin with, many directors likely to use disaster film for warning people our living environment is threatened by many serious problems such as air pollutions,overfishing, global warming, and so on so forth, Movie 2012 would be a good example for teaching people to think. In fact, majority of materials using in the movie are not accurate and more exaggerated than the real life. Lots of Western movies, which incline to using Middle East as background for such subjects of terrorism happens, are giving people falsely impression. On the contrary, people probably would be more consider the truth of information. If people desire to know the recently social focuses, they can gain the information from Internet or newspapers which are more official and objectively, most of resources from that offering with author’s name, references, and publish dates.

On the other hand, it is obvious that watching movie is a efficient way to reduce stresses from person’s daily life by providing a panorama of the reality with vivid pictures and real sounds, for example movie Avatar, people get surprised from its novel topic and incredible visual effect, that is impossible to having the same sound effects at home. The reason people prefer to watching a comedy movie because through the laughing, not only people would more close to their family but also people would take a rest from a stressful work. What a harmonious moment movie brings to us! Moreover, during the summer season, many fiction films are coming to attracts children to spend time with their companies or parents in the theater where will be an excellent place to go. Admittedly, bringing an enjoyable experience and happiness are the main function for the movie maker.


For the conclusion, I firmly convinced that to making more fun to people is the basic purpose for movie. Even though people may be influenced their opinion or life goal by some kinds of movie subjects, movie cannot be the essential factor to lead people’s thinking because of its objectivity and dramatic.

canoe03UID: 2786666

楼主 我弄错了 改完后才发现你不是和我一组的 既然改了么 就贴上来献丑了 弄得不好 不要计较
Nowadays, movie is gradually becoming a platform for enlightening and leading people into(to?) some controversial issues, such as a large amount of subjects focus on wars, violence, and environmental(这个词做名词的话，是环境论的意思，environment就可以了). Therefore, some people agree that movie plays a crucial role to encourage people taking them(their) social responsibility(responsibilities) instead of making fun(这样写的话，就是people making fun了，不通，要是指电影的话，就是to make fun). However, I doubt this observation is too arbitrary from(for, because都可以啊，为咩用from呢？) the following reasons.

First and foremost, many directors likely to use disaster film for warning people that our living environment is threatened by many serious problems such as air pollutions, overfishing, global warming, and etc, Movie 2012 was a good example for teaching people to think. In fact, majority of materials using(应当用used？) in the movie are not accurate and more exaggerated than the real life. Lots of American movies inclines(incline,准确的词组用法是 are inclined to) to using(use) subjects of terrorism happens in Middle East and many terrorists who mainly speak Arabic. Actually, people would more satisfy(被动语态people would be more satisfied by) the truth information(要么用truth，要么用XXX information，XXX应为形容词) from public newspaper compare to movie. If people desire to know some recently social focuses, they can gain the information from Internet or newspapers which are more official and objectivity（objective才是形容词，此处你用的是名词）, most of resources on it(个人觉得it指代有点不明，我有个小建议改成and on most of which offer the author’s name, reference…..) offering with author’s name, references, and publish dates.

On the other hand, it is obvious that movie can be a good way to reduce stresses(stress应该是不可数的吧？) from (a) person’s life by providing a panorama of the reality with vivid pictures and real sounds(sound?), for example(此处后面应该加逗号吧，或者你写成take the movie Avatar as example) movie Avatar, people surprised(are surprised by) its novel topic(theme 或者用 subject) and incredible visual effect which is impossible to having the same sound effects at home(此处从句应是visual effect的，在这里显得有点突兀，因为从句里面提到了声音效果，这和前面又不相关，且显得重复了，个人建议写成those enjoyment are not available when you are at home). People would (缺少助动词be) more likely to sit in the theatre with hundreds of others watching a Comedy(不用大写) movie in a same time(at the same time). What a harmonious moment (加个冠词the，貌似很容易误解)movie brings to us! Usually in the summer time, many fiction films are coming that attracts children to spend time with their companies in the theatre where will be an excellent(这个词有点过火，) place to go. Admittedly, bringing an enjoyable experience(experience 不能用an，) and happiness are(is) the main function for the movie industry(电影工业的主要目的不能简单的说是带来愉悦的享受而已，这个目的很复杂，要么就写电影的目的是什么什么就可以了:)，三思之 ).

For the conclusion, I firmly convinced that to making(make) more fun to people is the basic purpose for movie. Even though people may be influenced their thinking or living styles by some kinds of movie subjects, movie cannot be a main factor to lead people’s thinking because of its objectivity and dramatic(这里又是个形容词，用名词).

(童鞋你有以下特点：1、很倾向于在to后面用动词的ing形式，2、名词和形容词用处不对，3、语法有些问题)

DaisyTwinsUID: 2797670

回复LS:我的语法就是有很多问题怎么办呀急啊。。。短时间里又提不上来，我对词性的用法老是会用错。。杯具啊谢谢楼上那么认真的帮我改，万分感谢哈

DaisyTwinsUID: 2797670

4.26All students should be required to take basic science classes even if they are not this major.
That is no doubt that every student desire to be a versatile talent as their life’s goal.However, to achieve this purpose, to study various branches of knowledge including science would be the first step for all students. Thus, people argue that is it necessary for all the students taking basic science classes even they are not this major? Personally, I believe that taking science classes as required would brings much more benefits to the student.

To begin with, the basic science classes is a good assistant for student to understand the planet they live in. For example, chemistry class teaches student what’s the component of air, biology class explains student many nature realities, and physics encourages student to have a logical way of thinking, and so on so forth.Therefore, all of these knowledge would becomes a prerequisite  to start learning any field. Once the student is very proficient in his/her science classes, he/she would be much easier and faster to learn any kinds of major.

On the other hand,the knowledge, which students learn from science classes, more or less, would guide students in their future career. If student who graduated from accounting major has outstanding mathematics skill, he/she would gain more job opportunities than others in a ruthless competition. Moreover, many universities have strict requirements for student to apply medicine field.Student would not be enrolled to any medicine school without a strongly biology or chemistry background. Also, when student face some difficulties in the life,the knowledge learns from science classes could guide student a good way to deal with. It is obviously see that students would certainly have an advantage in their career or studying by taking basic science classes. In other word,school has its responsibility by providing all kinds of knowledge to the student to meet the needs from current society.

To sum it up, I am firmly convinced that lack of any basic science education would causes student hardly reach their success. It has connection link between every major that student should able to earn all of these knowledge.

DaisyTwinsUID: 2797670

5.1 5 D, M1 L0 [  W4q7 F. n
Do you agree or disagree the following statement? Modern society has becomemore complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability toplan and organize.


Inthe era of high-technology information we live in nowadays, the young peopleare suffering much more pressures than any earlier generations in this world wherefull of ruthless competitions. Some people suggest that obtain an ability ofplan and organize would benefit this generation to compete in this society. Inreaction to this phenomenon, I believe that the implication for this statementis far-reaching.


Tobegin with, willing to organize and plan a task before start to do would be agood habit for the young people not only in their life also in the futurecareer. A last-minute person will not be welcomed to join in any team; incontrast, a team member, who generally set up a plan, do the task by step tostep, finish the mission before the deadline, will be the one that most groupsgladly work with. A success person who with a good ability of plan will alwaystake a note every time in order to help them not missing any details, writedown the important information from the meeting, and manage the time very well.It’s obviously to see that work would be more efficiency by a well-organized planwhich distinguishes between work and rest. People would gain more time fordining with family and visit friends during the break, instead of handle multitaskin the meantime or overload work by fully schedule.


Onthe other hand, young people who have the ability to plan and organize woulddefinitely get abundant advantages in their life. People feel more comfortable inan organized and clean place; they would not forget or lose any importantdocuments which are stored in the right place by its category.


Tosum it up, I am convinced that the young people will reach the success closelyby a good ability on planning and organizing. 时间到了所以就匆忙结尾了

lycheeeUID: 2447890

13# DaisyTwins

5.1 5 D, M1 L0 [  W4q7 F. n3 W1 v3 w% F# g6 _: [0 S Do you agree or disagree the following statement? Modern society has becomemore complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize. . E  b7 P6 n! X) d& {# |) Z: S! t# l( v# u( g- k # d7 m; ?# X! A4 X. Q, w! @ In the era of high-technology information we live in nowadays, the young people are suffering much more pressures than any earlier generations in this world where full of ruthless competitions.【这个句子可以稍微切一下……】 Some people suggest that obtain an ability of plan and organize would benefit this generation to compete in this society【这里不如描述一下有什么benefit,这样下面这句才不会显得有点跳跃……】. In reaction to this phenomenon, I believe that the implication for this statement is far-reaching. ( t! q) _" O, q! D; H( G5 x- Z 4 F4 n. [- ~& ]3 J ) G' A& E- s* x7 _. {# @To begin with, willing to organize and plan a task before start to do would be a good habit for the young people not only in their life 【but】also in the future career. A last-minute person will not be welcomed to join in any team; in contrast, a team member, who generally set up a plan, do the task by step to step, finish the mission before the deadline, will be the one that most groups gladly work with. A success【successful】 person who with a good ability of plan will always take a note every time【always 跟every time的意思有重复，可以省去其中一个】 in order to help them not missing any details, write down 【不如用record?】the important information from【of】 the meeting, and manage the time very well.It’s obviously to see that work would be more efficiency by a well-organized plan which distinguishes【这里distinguish用得不对……也许用别的？】 between work and rest. People would gain more time fordining【呃？这个词是……？】 with family and visit friends during the break, instead of handle multitaskin the meantime or overload work by fully schedule. 【觉得gain more time的表达貌似不是很对…… 我查了下可以用spare more time/squeeze the time/make time来表达这个意思……】 ! u0 [6 Y, V) p3 w+ Z: s, M  P Onthe other hand, young people who have the ability to plan and organize would definitely get abundant advantages in their life. People feel more comfortable in an organized and clean place; they would not forget or lose any important documents which are stored in the right place by its category.【这段论述……也许是论证不够充分或者原因本身有点勉强……所以2句话之间看着像是没有关系似的……不如这样写：“年轻人有计划和组织的习惯的话，就可以避免重要事情的遗忘或出差错，比如……（设想几个情景）”】 8 {2 U  u/ G; b( e9 A & T: |9 U, e* N. {* a7 K- q; B 6 h. k/ r5 S$ ]% B3 F0 cTosum it up, I am convinced that the young people will reach the succes closelyby a good ability on planning and organizing. 【楼主自己也说这里是匆忙结尾啦……写完之后其实可以自己想想能加个什么结尾的……想好了的话以后就可以不用匆忙结尾了。】 其实这题目还真难写……（所以我自己的文章都只别扭地写了一半的……） 楼主我看到你的文就好像看到了自己的文……泪……（尤其是那个开头……）我是长句苦手……对于长句苦手而言，是不是干脆写短句子以免造成confusion算了？ 如果想要加分的话，我们不如放弃长句只用恰当的词组表达吧……？ 谢谢楼主对我五一劳动节的文章的劳动……:loveliness:

DaisyTwinsUID: 2797670

先感谢下楼上帮我改哈，感觉作文是托福最难的一个部分可能很久不动笔吧，跟挤牙膏一样痛苦啊，不过写多了好像感觉会来的，加油加油！

5.2  09.7.25北美
& Y7 X% X/ w1 @- E3 h2 M* s" nBeing creative, rather than planning carefully，will come up with best solution to a problem


Traditional way of dealing with problem has been changed dramatically. The pendulum has swung and people are considering which way will be the best solution to a problem, being creative, or planning carefully? I think there is probably some truth to both side depend on the situation people face to.


To begin with, it’s obviously to see that being creative plays an essential role in art field. There are no any exact rules or basic routines that every dancer should follow to. As a superior dancer will not allow their performance is terminated by any little mistakes, to create new dances on site will be the best solution to deal with it. Therefore, any outstanding dancers should possess a good ability to deal with any accident happens during their performance. Any dancers, who only follow the step, perform by the routines,will be prevented to improve the skills and easily fail in any difficulty. So,planning carefully, in other word following by step will not be preferred for a good choreography.


On the other hand, a person who has good ability of organization or planning will be an excellent employee for company to select. A large numbers of companies require their future employees who have good organization and planning skills,understand deeply about company’s rule, set up a schedule for each project before start it, and finish the task on time.
Even though sometimes the result would be changed by the fact of case, making a good plan carefully would be the basic requirement by an employee pays responsibility to their company. Nobody knows what kind of problem we will face to, however, do our own duty is nothing lose for us. As we know, every company has their own standard which is the key for managing the whole business as well as all the staffs, cannot be broken by anybody. Thus,using anyone’s own style or creative solution to deal with the problem could be prohibited by the rule. Nobody is allowed to break the rule. Clearly to see,being creative would not be selected in this situation.


To sum up, I am convinced that a person who has both skills, being creative and planning carefully will reach their success closely. According to different case, it’s much more efficiency to solve problem when people has both abilities. I believe that the more skills we have, the more benefits we gain.