6.20从今天开始，↖(^ω^)↗

小羽暮雪UID: 2837865

6.20 It is important to know the event happening around the world that not affect your daily life, do you agree or disagree?


There are people who do not care about the event happening around the world for it is irrelevant with their daily life. Whether it is important to be informative about those events can be subjective and relative.
In my part,it is significant to know the event happening around the world even though it does not affect my daily life right now. For one thing,if I only pay attention to trival things that affect my daily life,I may not be able to grow up with a healthy personality. For instance, a person who only cares about events that related to himself,he can not develop a broad view of problem understandings. Thus,it is impossible for him to think in a sound and comprehensive way.The person who do not care about Copenhagen Conference probably will not understand the importance of enviroment protection. Not to mention that he takes action in his daily life to make the world a better place.
Secondly,I believe that the event happening around the world may not affect my daily life superficially,in fact,it does affect my daily life in an essential way. Everthing in the world have relationships and connections. As we know,the Butterfly Effect is a well-known example. Events that may not have any relationship may at last develop into a event that really affects your daily life. To get a sense about the world,you have to know about events that do not affect your life for it may affect your life in the near future. In that case,you can have response quickly and rationally when things happen.
Although it is comfortable to dodge behind your own small cirlce and do not pay attention to the event that do not affect yourself, it is important to know the event happening around the world for it not only make you a better person but also can create a better world for your attentions.

KeeeeenWUID: 2592937

There are people who do not care about the event happening around the world for （because?）it is irrelevant with their daily life. Whether it is important to be informative about those events can be subjective and relative.

In my part,it is significant to know the event happening around the world even though it does not affect my daily life right now. For one thing,if I only pay attention to trival things that affect my daily life,I may not be able to grow up with a healthy personality. For instance, a person who only cares about events that related to himself,he can not develop a broad view of problem understandings. Thus,it is impossible for him to think in a sound and comprehensive way.The person who do not care about Copenhagen Conference probably will not understand the importance of enviroment protection. Not to mention that he takes action in his daily life to make the world a better place.

Secondly,I believe that the event happening around the world may not affect my daily life superficially,in fact,it does affect my daily life in an essential way. Everthing in the world have relationships and connections. As we know,the Butterfly Effect is a well-known example. Events that may not have any relationship may at last develop into a event that really affects your daily life. To get a sense about the world,you have to know about events that do not affect your life for it may affect your life in the near future. In that case,you can have response quickly and rationally when things happen.(可以举下butterfly effect 的具体表现，这样可能要充实点，我觉得这个例子很好，学习)

Although it is comfortable to dodge behind your own small cirlce and do not pay attention to the event that do not affect yourself, it is important to know the event happening around the world for it not only make you a better person but also can create a better world for your attentions.

我觉得你的例子都不错，可以再扩展一下，多一点细节，还有，你的文章里如果要写你自己就都用I，我也建议你把you 和I 都改成people，这样客观一点，加油加油

小羽暮雪UID: 2837865

:loveliness:谢谢指教！

chrysoidineUID: 2731906

There are people who do not care about the event happening around the world for it is irrelevant with their daily life. Whether it is important to be informative about those events can be subjective and relative. In mypart, it is significant to know the event happening around the world even though it does not affect my daily life right now.

For one thing, if I only pay attention to trivial things that affect my daily life, I may not be able to grow up with a healthy personality. For instance, a person who only cares about events that related to himself, he can not develop a broad view of problem understandings. Thus, it is impossible for him to think in a sound and comprehensive way. The person who does not care about Copenhagen Conference probably will not understand the importance of environment protection. Not to mention that he takes action in his daily life to make the world a better place. 2 f2 ~4 m+ o% f: c

Secondly, I believe that the event happening around the world may not affect my daily life superficially, in fact, it does affect my daily life in an essential way. [题目中说的是和我们生活无关的事，无关应该是没有影响，所以这里可能否定的观点有点偏题，不过可以绕过来]Everything in the world have relationships and connections. As we know, the Butterfly Effect is a well-known example. Events that may not have any relationship may at last develop into an event that really affects your daily life. To get a sense about the world, you have to know about events that do not affect your life for it may affect your life in the near future. In that case, you can have to response quickly and rationally when things happen.

Although it is comfortable to dodge behind your own small circle and do not pay attention to the event that do not affect yourself, it is important to know the event happening around the world for it not only make you a better person but also can create a better world for your attentions.

我用word 改正了一些拼写，但这些应该都是一些手误，所以考试时细心一些就好了。文章的结构有些小问题，第一段没有给出明确的论点，还是开门见山好一些，其实把第二段第一句放在第一段就好～楼主表达方式都是有变化的，这点非常值得我学习！中间的句势表达很流畅，看得出楼主英文功底挺好的，只要坚持训练写作，一定会写的更好的。

小羽暮雪UID: 2837865

6.21Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fail？

Everyone yearn for success because it can give us the feel of accomplishment and make our personal value realized. Although success plays an important role in people's life,I think the ability of remaining happy and optimistic when people fail is more important.
Without the precious ability of remaining happy when you fail,it is impossible for people to get succeed. There is a proverb says that the failure is the mother of success. To regain the confidence after frustration and keep trying again and again is the begining to success,in which the optimistic spirit take accounts. For instance, the Confucius,the great philosopher of China, eventually succeed in his theory after he travelled many countries to develop his theory and experienced amount of failures after rejected by kings. If he did not keep optimistic
after his failures,he would be beatened and stop trying and there is no way that we can have those wisdom and philosophys today.
In my opinion, to remain happy and optimistic when people fail is a kind of success in some extent.Success has different definition with different people.During people's lives,we might come across various difficulties and frustrations,we will be reasonable and calm if we own the precious abilty to be happy when us fail.For example,a student who failed an exam can still smile and prepare for next one might be capable to handle problems more approriate and have greater possibilities to get succeed. To this student,it means success
because he overcomed his depression and be prepared for the next challenge.
In conclusion,it is necessary to remain happy and optimistic when people fail to reach their goals.Compared with success itself,the ability to remain happy when you fail has greater meanings and plays more important part in people's life.It is the foundation of success and the basis of happiness.

canoe03UID: 2786666

Everyoneyearn for success because it can give us the feel of accomplishment and makeour personal value realized. Although success plays an important role inpeople's life,I think the ability of remaining happy and optimistic when peoplefail is more important.

Withoutthe precious ability of remaining happy when you fail, it is impossible forpeople to get succeed. There is a proverb says that the failure is the motherof success. To regain the confidence after frustration and keep trying againand again is the beginning(beginning) to success, in which theoptimistic spirit take accounts. For instance, the Confucius(Confucius), thegreat philosopher of China, eventually succeed in his theory(应该是succeed inspreading his theory吧) after he traveled(traveled in) manycountries to develop his theory and experienced amount of(a mount of)failures after rejected by kings. If he did not keep optimistic after hisfailures, he would be beatened(this word is wrong here) and stoptrying and there is no way that we can have those wisdom and philosophys(philosophy)today.

Inmy opinion, to remain happy and optimistic when people fail is a kind ofsuccess in(to)some extent. Success has different definition with(for) different people. During(in或者是during thecourse of people’s lives?) people's lives, we might come across variousdifficulties and frustrations, we will be reasonable and calm if we own theprecious ability to be happy when us(we) fail. For example, a student whofailed an exam can still smile and prepare for next one might be capable tohandle problems more appropriate and have greater possibilities to get succeed(succeed,这个句子较长，问题也比较多). To this student, it means success because he overcomed(overcame)his depression and be prepared for the next challenge(这个句子有问题，it指的是什么，还有为什么是be prepared？).

Inconclusion, it is necessary to remain happy and optimistic when people fail toreach their goals. Compared with success itself, the ability to remain happywhen you fail has greater meanings and plays more important part(role)in people's life. It is the foundation of success and the basis of happiness.

(LZ可能是掐着时间写的，字数有点悬。作文有语法和拼写错误，句子不大流畅。提出的分论点也不明显，作文中重复用词比较多。我想我们在写作文前留出2-3分钟想想要写什么分论点如何论证或者用什么例子是很重要的。你说呢？)

小羽暮雪UID: 2837865

多谢指点！:loveliness:

小羽暮雪UID: 2837865

6.22Sometimes, if you can not say anything nice to someone, you should say

nothing at all.

In some occasions, you need not say anything when you can not say anything

nice to someone. Nevertheless，I hold the view that speaking out the problem

is better than saying nothing.

Although you might be embarrassed when you pointed out the problem or

contradiction with others, the action you take is abide with the precious quality

of integrity and honesty. It is much better than saying nothing at all, which is

relative negative and probably can not solve the problems. For example, I said

nothing when I found out there were plenty of mistakes in my colleague's

work, being afraid of hurting his feelings. Eventually, the situation just turned

worse for he had never realized his mistakes and corrected his work. In this

case, saying nothing at all does not play any positive role in improving our

work. In fact, to speaking out the problems straightforward might be a better

solution.

Besides, to keep silence is no better than facing someone indirectly in a

humorous manner or by means of a euphemism. For silence will never solve

the awkward situation, but humor and euphemism can. Take famous

playwright Bernard Shaw for example. Once, he attended an important

banquet and a fat entrepreneur laughed at him when he was about to making

an address. The entrepreneur said，"When I meet you, I know there is a

famine in the world.”“Yes, when I meet you, I know why there is a famine in

the world.”The tall and thin Bernard Shaw did not say anything at all, but smile

back and made a joke, humorously solved the problem and smartly fighted back.

All in all, to saying nothing at all when you can not say anything nice might be

a way to response, but there are other better ways to express yourself.

Compares with waiting negatively for others in silence, responding humorously

or straightforward might be good choices.

missoulmateUID: 2537459

改完了，都放在附件里了，有个问题还是希望可以和你讨论下的，关于第三段是不是。。。跑了。

小羽暮雪UID: 2837865

改完了，都放在附件里了，有个问题还是希望可以和你讨论下的，关于第三段是不是。。。跑了。
missoulmate 发表于 2010-6-23 00:32

我的总论点是想表达说比不说好，第一个分论点是直接说比不说好。第二个分论点是委婉地说和幽默地说比不说好。可能我把例子放地太细节了，反而没有对论点进行过多的阐述，所以第二个例证确实有点喧宾夺主的感觉，恩，再努力精简点。
O(∩_∩)O谢谢

canoe03UID: 2786666

Insome occasions, you need not say anything when you can not say anything nice to someone. Nevertheless，Ihold the view that speaking out the problem is better than sayingnothing.

Althoughyou might be embarrassed when you pointed out the problem or contradiction withothers, the action you take is abide with the precious quality of integrity andhonesty. It is much better than saying nothing at all, which is relativenegative and probably can not solve the problems. For example, I said  nothing whenI found out there were plenty of mistakes in my colleague's work, being afraidof hurting his feelings. Eventually, the situation just turned worse for he hadnever realized his mistakes and corrected his work. In this case, sayingnothing at all does not play any positive role in improving our  work. Infact, to(deletethis word) speaking out the problems straightforward might be abetter solution.

Besides,to keep silence is no better than facing someone indirectly in a humorousmanner or by means of a euphemism. For silence will never solve the awkward situation, but humor and euphemism can. Take famous playwright Bernard Shaw for(as)example. Once, he attended an important & }" m+ |2 M6 u1 m" lbanquet and a fat entrepreneurlaughed at him when he was about to making an address(make an address).The entrepreneur said，"WhenI meet you, I know there is 4 D& `)d( F' ^3 o8 }famine in the world.” “Yes, when I meet you, I know whythere is a famine in the world.” The tall and thin Bernard Shaw did not sayanything at all, but smile back and made a joke humorously solved the problemand smartly fighted(fought)back.


All in all, to saying nothing at all when you can not say anything nice might be a way to response, but thereare other better ways to express yourself. Compares with waiting negatively forothers in silence, responding humorously or straightforward might be goodchoices.

Excellent!小羽同学的这篇作文写得灰常的好，首先简洁的提出观点，然后说了如何解决之道，语言流畅。请问同学一个问题：作文中有二处to doing sth这样的句型，我不知道这样写可不可以，还是to do sth才是对的。还有，to do sth和doing sth做主语时有什么区别？请不吝赐教，谢谢了！

小羽暮雪UID: 2837865

6.23 Past people are friendlier than theyare today.
People always talk about the Old GoldenDays. It seems that people were nice to each other and society was more harmonyin the past golden days. It is probably true that people are tend to be friendlierthan they are today, but one vital point is being left out of our analysis:this thinking might be only the imagination of past days for people incline toneglect bad things in their memory and colored good parts in it.
Firstly, past people are friendlier mightsimply forced by the circumstances. In the past, the material and spiritualconditions were relative poor than today. Without convenient transportation andcommunication ways, people always lived in small circle and tend to developinto a neighborhood with friendly relationship. No one can deny the fact thatthere was almost no thief in the primitive society, which might due to the materialscarcity. In this way, people have to help each other to survive.
Additionally, we must accept the fact thatpeople are diversified. Some people are easygoing no matter he is neither inthe past nor in today. Some people are tending to be cautious in relationshipsin different society. Let us suppose that you are in the street and happen tosee a stranger who is suffering a heart attack. Will you come to hisassistance? Most people might do. Thus, it is not depends on the time, it isthe humanity itself take accounts. To insist that past people are friendlierthan they are seems to be too absolutely.
From what has been discussed above, we maydraw the conclusion that people in today might be friendlier than past peopleand past people might be friendlier than they are today. It is a totallyindividual attitude, depending on different society circumstances and differentcharacteristics.



附件在这里，方便同学修改，可以直接用修订格式：O(∩_∩)O谢谢，今天我明显写的心不在焉，要赶着去看世界杯。。
6.23.doc (21 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2010-6-23 21:58:40 上传

下载次数: 3

小羽暮雪UID: 2837865

为什么每次帖上来格式就乱了！！！囧，大家还是看附件吧！无语