Definitely, a victory 小组第3次作业 issue130 By Melody

claire530UID: 2363559

130."How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."——因果 提纲：
1．
社会化很重要，但不是决定因素。
2．
社会化的重要性。3个方面. 1.道德，2.合作。3.对环境的适应培养。
3．
知识积累和技能提高也很重要。
4．
很多部门已经开始改善教育系统的问题。
5．
综述。
字数：683
In this issue, the speaker makes the statement that the cognition of socialization of children, which is proved to be a shortage of education system nowadays, determines the future of society. Whereas, as far as I am concerned, on balance, how children are socialized presently indeed influent the development of future society, however, it can not be counted as the single reason which affects the whole society’s progress.
For one thing, I concede the importance of cultivating the socialization ability of children. After all, it provides them the way accomodated to the society and reminds self-awareness of their own. Acknowledging socialization benefits them in 3 respects. First of all, it acquaints students morality and ethics which compared to intelligence cultivation is paid less attention to by present education system. For example, Greg Mortensen, one of the most respecting humanitarian of the world, has built numerous schools in Pakistan. It is his kindness, humanitory spirit, and broad social net which leads to his contribution to the children of Pakistan. His great acts ascribe to the education he received from his father, a missionary who had built a hospital for the African local residents and his childhood experiences spent in Africa. Secondly, children can learn how to cooperate with others in this progress, which is believed to be an indispensable part in further life, both their careers and personal lives. People as to society is just like cell as to the organism, which means cooperation is inevitable. Partners of the cooperation system independent work together, make full use of each one’s advantages and offset others’ shortages. Thirdly, children need to learn to adapt to the environment they are in, which also can be achieved through the way of socialization.
This point can be explained by Charles Robert Darwin’s evolution theory that competition occurs naturally between the creatures living in the same environment, only do species suit the environment best then they would get the opportunity to survive and reproduce. Students must learn to adapt to the environment as it is the survival instinct.
Since we have realized the importance of socialization, why is there such a lot of adolescent crimes occurencies such as drug abuse, bloody fighting, promiscuity, etc. Admittedly, we cannot negate the fact that the existences of such crime issues attribute to the deficiency of education system. In most countries, the education systems focus their attention on discovering the intelligence of students, while ignoring the cultivation on socialization ability. Yet, we should not ignore their endeavors on improving the educative quality. After all, comparing to hundreds of years ago, the huge progress of society and higher level of living conditions today undoubtedly ascribe to the development of technology and science, which attributes to the amelioration of education system. In scientific field, without the contribution of education system, the prove of four color theorem cannot be settled without the broad and profound knowledge of the two scientists named Kenneth Appel and Wolfgang Haken and the use of computer. Meanwhile, In living condition part, we are unable to communicate with families and friends with telephones, or learning about the world through internet is impossible.
Yet, even if we have noticed the importance of socialization development of students and other loopholes existed in our education systems, few of us have figured it out how to solve all the problems. Luckily in recent years, education departments all over the world are dedicated to explore new systems to improve the educative quality on both intellective and social side. For example, Dewey, one of the most famous educationalists in United States, had put forward his education concept which was not endorse students to accumulate academic knowledge only, but strongly accolade the development of social ability, especially practical and empirical ability.
In sum, socialization is crucial in both individual and social developments, but not the determinative factor. Meanwhile, after realizing the deficiency of present education system, we are trying our best to reform it and make it more suitable for development of future society. Although there is a long way to go to improve our education system, at least we are dedicated to.

wdx19861106UID: 2821198

In this issue, the speaker makes the statement that the cognition of socialization of children, which is proved to be a shortage of education system nowadays, determines the future of society.（这句话要修改一下，对文中论点的叙述有误）
Whereas, as far as I am concerned, on balance, how children are socialized presently indeed influent the development of future society, however, it can not be counted as the single reason which affects the whole society’s progress.
For one thing, I concede the importance of cultivating the socialization ability of children.(I concede the socialization ability of children is very important in the future progress of the sociality.) After all, it provides them the way accommodated to the society and reminds self-awareness of their own. Acknowledging socialization benefits them in 3 respects. First of all, it acquaints students morality and ethics which compared to intelligence cultivation is paid less attention to by present education system. (It helps students to acquaint morality and ethics which compared to intelligence cultivation is paid less attention to by present education system.) For example, Greg Mortensen, one of the most respecting humanitarian of the world, has built numerous schools in Pakistan. It is his kindness, humanitarian spirit, and broad social net which lead to his contribution to the children of Pakistan. His great acts ascribe to the education he received from his father, a missionary who had built a hospital for the African local residents and his childhood experiences spent in Africa.



(感觉这个例子不太合适，好像没体现社会化对Greg Mortensen的影响)Secondly, children can learn how to cooperate with others in this progress, which is believed to be an indispensable part in further life, both their careers and personal lives. People as to society are just like cell as to the organism, which means cooperation is inevitable. Partners of the cooperation system independent work together, make full use of each one’s advantages and offset others’ shortages.（That is one plus one is greater than two effects.）Thirdly, children need to learn to adapt to the environment they are in, which also can be achieved through the way of socialization. This point can be explained by Charles Robert Darwin’s evolution theory that competition occurs naturally between the creatures living in the same environment, only do species suit the environment best then they would get the opportunity to survive and reproduce. Students must learn to adapt to the environment as it is the survival instinct.
Since we have realized the importance of socialization, why are there such a lot of adolescent crimes concurrencies such as drug abuse, bloody fighting, promiscuity, etc. Admittedly, we cannot negate the fact that the existences of such crime issues attribute to the deficiency of education system. In most countries, the education systems focus their attention on discovering the intelligence of students, while ignoring the cultivation on socialization ability. Yet, we should not ignore their endeavors on improving the educative quality. After all, comparing to hundreds of years ago, the huge progress of society and higher level of living conditions today undoubtedly ascribe to the development of technology and science, which attributes to the amelioration of education system. In scientific field, without the contribution of education system, the prove of four color theorem cannot be settled without the broad and profound knowledge of the two scientists named Kenneth Appel and Wolfgang Haken and the use of computer. Meanwhile, in living condition part, we are unable to communicate with families and friends with telephones, or learning about the world through internet is impossible.
Yet, even if we have noticed the importance of socialization development of students and other loopholes existed in our education systems, few of us have figured it out how to solve all the problems. Luckily in recent years, education departments all over the world are dedicated to explore new systems to improve the educative quality on both intellective and social side. For example, Dewey, one of the most famous educationalists in United States, had put forward his education concept which was not endorse students to accumulate academic knowledge only, but strongly accolade the development of social ability, especially practical and empirical ability.
In sum, socialization is crucial in both individual and social developments, but not the determinative factor. Meanwhile, after realizing the deficiency of present education system, we are trying our best to reform it and make it more suitable for development of future society. Although there is a long way to go to improve our education system, at least we are dedicated to.

(本文结构层次感较好，内容和论点都不错，但与提纲相比，“知识积累和技能提高也很重要”这一点没有表现出来，感觉衔接方面稍微有些不足。倒数第三段写的过多，而倒数第二段写的太少。倒数第二段应该增加内容，详细说明对当前教育的不足我们做出的努力。)
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