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[a习作temp] Argument235 求拍 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-7-6 11:55:44 |显示全部楼层
求拍,一定回拍,谢谢


TOPIC: ARGUMENT235 - The following appeared in a memorandum from the general manager of KNOW radio station.

"Several factors indicate that radio station KNOW should shift its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format. Consider, for example, the number of older people in our listening area has increased dramatically, while the total number of our listeners has recently declined. Also, music stores in our area report decreased sales of recorded music. Finally, continuous news stations in neighboring cities have been very successful, and a survey taken just before the recent election shows that local citizens are interested in becoming better informed about politics."
WORDS: 468
TIMES: 01:16:10
DATE: 2010/7/6 0:36:13


The author tried to recommend KNOW radio station shift its programming by the change of the listeners, the sales of recorded music, the case of successful station with news and the survey local citizens took. However, all these analysis or reasons are not so convincing as they appeared at first sight.
Foremost, the author pointed out that the listeners were changing. Admittedly, that maybe means the station should adapt to these old people. However, without any surveys from these older listeners, it's too rushed to conclude that the former programming will not be interesting and absorbing to them. Perhaps they are also excited in the rock-and-roll music and that's why they choose KNOW radio station. What's more, the percentage of new listeners is unknown and there also will be no need to change the programming if it is not high enough even if they show no interest in rock-and-roll music.
Besides that above, another tendency has been mentioned to support the idea of shifting programming, which is not potent either since the sales of recorded music can be caused by so many factors except the lack of interest in music. Maybe those consumers prefer to enjoy music through internet or mp3. Or, perhaps the fact that no popular stars release their new songs recently could be another contributor to the declining sale. And meanwhile it’s also probably that those consumers gain what they want from the radio station, which is ironically an important reason why KNOW should remain the music programming rather than cancel it. With these potential reasons, the author failed to show that people are not interested in music any longer in this area and the radio station should abandon their program.
At last, the case of successful news stations neighboring and the survey taken before were cited to show the perspective after KNOW station carry out the recommendation. Nevertheless it is not the case. The listeners of neighboring area may be quite different from their counterparts here and it is likely that the majority of them feel boring with rock-and-roll music at first and care politics more than any other things. So, the style of those stations cannot be used here. And the survey is not persuasive at the same time since it is so abstract that a large amount of critical information was not offered. For example, how many people took the survey? How many of them show their interest in politics information? And even though the number is large enough, what are their opinions to music programming? Do they really concern more with politics than the music and want to get those from KNOW radio station?
All in all, the argument is based on the unreasoning inference and unconvincing survey or comparison, which are not enough to persuade me to adopt the recommendation.

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发表于 2010-7-7 02:19:47 |显示全部楼层
TOPIC:ARGUMENT235 - The following appeared in a memorandum from the generalmanager of KNOW radio station.

"Severalfactors indicate that radio station KNOW should shift its programmingfrom rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format. Consider, forexample, the number of older people in our listening area hasincreased dramatically, while the total number of our listeners hasrecently declined. Also, music stores in our area report decreasedsales of recorded music. Finally, continuous news stations inneighboring cities have been very successful, and a survey taken justbefore the recent election shows that local citizens are interestedin becoming better informed about politics."
WORDS:468
TIMES: 01:16:10
DATE: 2010/7/6 0:36:13


Theauthor tried to recommend KNOW radio station shift its programmingby(becauseof )thechange of the listeners, the (decreased)salesof recorded music, the case of successful (thesuccessful case of neighbouring )stationwith news and the survey (inneighbouring cities where)
localcitizens took. However, all these analysis or reasons are not soconvincing as they appeared at first sight.


Foremost,the author pointed out that the listeners were changing.Admittedly,(,admittedly,)thatmaybe means the station should adapt(carter)to these old people. However, without any surveys from these olderlisteners, it's too rushed to conclude that the former programmingwill not be interesting and absorbing (attractive 对于absorbing我觉得很奇怪)tothem. Perhaps they are also excited in the rock-and-roll music andthat's why they choose KNOW radio station. What's more, thepercentage of new listeners is unknown and there also will be no needto change the programming if itis not high????thenumber of people,showing little interest to music, is not largeenougheven if they show no interest in rock-and-roll music.

Besidesthat above, another tendency has been mentioned to support the ideaof shifting programming, which is not potent either,sincethe sales of recorded music can be caused by so many factors exceptthe lack of interest in music. Maybe those consumers prefer toenjoyingmusicthrough internet or mp3 (mp3player).Or, perhaps the fact isthatno popular stars release their new songs recently could be anothercontributor to the declining sale. And????meanwhile it’s also probably that those consumers gain what theywant from the radio station, which isironically???? animportant reason why KNOW should remain the music programming ratherthan cancel it. With these potential reasons, the author failed toshow that people are not interested in music any longer in this areaand the radio station should abandon their program.


At last,the case of successfulnews stations neighboring  (thesuccessful case of neighbouring stations)andthe survey taken before were cited to show the perspectiveafter?????KNOWstation carry out the recommendation. Nevertheless it is not thecase. The listeners of neighboring area may be quite different fromtheir counterparts here?????andit is likely that the majority of them feel boring with rock-and-rollmusic at first and care politics more than any other things. So,(,so)the style of those stations cannot be used here. And the survey isnot persuasive atthe same time??since it is so abstract that a large amount of critical informationwas not offered.For example, how many people took the survey? How many of them showtheir interest in politics information?Andeventhough the number is large enough, what are their opinions to(of)musicprogramming? Do they really concern more withpolitics than the music and want to getthose(morepolitics)from KNOW radio station? (:-)I like)
Allin all, the argument is based on the unreasoning inference andunconvincing survey or comparison, which are not enough to persuademe to adopt the recommendation.
(add somesuggestions to enhance the persuasive points of this argument )

绿色表示不要的部分
LZ 思路不错,希望少用and. 表达清晰一些。 个人意见希望能有所帮助


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发表于 2010-7-7 11:45:55 |显示全部楼层
2# 牛黄解毒丸
谢谢,我会根据你的建议再斟酌一下字句的

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RE: Argument235 求拍 [修改]

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