TOPIC: ISSUE131 - "The arts (painting, music, literature, etc.) reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society."
WORDS:593
DATE: 2010-7-9
Ai Weiwei, a contemporary Chinese artist, son of a prestigious
Chinese poet, has an exclusive interview with CNN's program-- Amanpour. Within the interview, he showed some recent works from his friends and himself; a wall of over 1500 schoolbags representing those innocent children who lost their lives due to the collapse of schools in SiChuang earthquake 2008, a series of photographs about Chinese mine workers life, a sculpture with twisted face and tortured body. Ai Weiwei and his artistic friends are trying to reveal what the common Chinese might haveforgotten or even ignored-- the humanity. Contemporary Chinese artists, living in an awkward political and cultural transformation time of China, tend to express their worries and angers through art.//这一段是作为引子还是放错位置了？
Ever since the founding of human civilization, arts, in their various forms, has been the major way to reveal the hidden ideas and impulse of a society.
Literature, as one form of art, reflects people's thoughts through stories and characters, for what it expressed is human's thought, hope and despaire. A good piece of literature may invite us to imagine, to live vicariously through the character’s lives, to keep in touch with great thought and to be enlightened. In such a fast-pacing society, love has become the most luxurious consumption, and most of Chinese youth may give up finding true love when they have so much pressures from jobs, finance problems and house mortagages. Reading great literature may encourage us to keep finding love and be brave to fight against the odds. Jane Austin's "Pride and Prejudice" with idyllic lifestyle, twist and turns relationship may help us to understand that love is not love which alters when it alternation finds. "The great Gastby " may, on the other hand, warns us that true love is hard to find, and even sometimes, love will be covered by fear, lust and selfishness. When reading these classical literatures, we sympathise with those characters, enjoys with them, grieve with me. Their experiences become ours. They offer us the opportunity to ponder, to contemplate. Through reading, our thought may ascend, hence great literatures have accomplished their mission to covey ideas.//文学可以传达一些在当代已经难以发现的思想和感受。但好像关于真爱什么的，你并没有说明他们是隐藏在社会表层下的东西，而是在说真爱正在被遗忘。另外就是论证显得罗嗦，看了好长一段不知道跟主题有什么关系，直到最后一句才算点明。
And sometimes, the arts may be the impulse of a society. Music, as an important form of art, binds groups of people together and serves the purpose of lifting people's spirits. During 1950s when the whole world was still in the recovery period from the Second World War, the "Beatles" not only entertained people, it also aroused people's aspirations for love and peace. Their influence ranged from music to fashion. Collarless jackets and psychedelic clothes have subverted the traditional way of clothes, and more than that, they had a symbolic meaning that culture in the new age would be mixed and diversified.//关于披头士的例子有这么几个问题（我的个人见解）：1.披头士风行是在六十年代。2.披头士引领的反战情绪主要是针对冷战和越战，而非二战。3.关于披头士引领的mixed和diversified的潮流，我想你这里可能没说清楚，最好再展开一下。
It is true that the arts reveal hidden ideas and impulses of a society, but this claim has generalized the function of the arts. The Arts may reveal ideas, but they can also create new ideas and impulses. In this post-modernized society, the arts saturate every aspect of life and new form of art emerges every now and then. Contemporary artist may combine what used to be irrelevant to art into a new form of expression. Iron, sand, or even bottles can be used as element of creating a piece of art. This new forms of expression may give us a new idea that art may no longer be idealist or belong to the intellect. The creativity of the arts, regardless of their former function as a way to arouse people's soul or reveal hidden ideas, may sometimes tell us that the ultimate goal of the arts is to free people's hearts.//其实关于现代艺术表达方式多样式一种对社会的反映还是引领社会的思潮，我认为值得商榷。或许可以通过强调艺术家们更加开放（不仅是你所提到的艺术材料，还包括表达的内容、艺术创造的主体等）更加积极地超越时代，来说明他们是在推动、引导和影响社会思潮。
To conclude,
你的整个文章布局还蛮独特的，语言也蛮通畅。就是论据上比较有问题，又充分揭示与主题和分论点的关系。不过最好能有一个总结性的段落。
论点 5
论据 4
论证 4.5
语言 5
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发表于 2010-7-9 21:07:27
发表于 2010-7-9 22:03:34
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