Flyer 杀G 组 Argument 87 by selinashen

selinashenUID: 2736030

TOPIC: ARGUMENT87 - The following appeared in a memo to managers of Christine's, a chain of craft stores.

"Several major newspapers have recently run articles noting an increased interest in pottery. The number of potters in this country has risen by eighteen percent in the past five years, and pottery is particularly gaining popularity on college campuses. In order to take advantage of these trends, Christine's should immediately begin carrying a larger volume of pottery supplies. Since several of our stores have recently experienced a decrease in sales of painting supplies, all store managers should reallocate shelf space from the painting area for the display of pottery. Stores should display posters showing pottery that is designed to appeal to college-age individuals. These actions will undoubtedly increase our profits dramatically."
WORDS: 357
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2010-7-13 下午 07:40:25

This article, even carefully presenting reasons to
support its conclusion in carrying a large volume of pottery supplies, has some problems in reasoning.

In considering the newspaper's report about the growth number in potters . It does not incite where does the figure come from. It is possible that 18% growth is forged. And even the number of potters has risen in the past 5 years, it does not necessarily mean that local demand for pottery has increased accordingly. Maybe being a potter is a easier job. In addition, even pottery is very popular among college campuses, college students are still smalle group of people if compared with all the citizens, hence they can not represent the whole country about the populatiry of pottery.


And recent decline in selling paintings does not necessarily mean the end of painting market. The author should consider other possible reasons of the declining demand in painting and increasing demand in pottery. Perhaps this country is in the stage of economic recession, and most of the paintings are very expensive. Hence at this critical moment, customers would rather buy food than paintings. And even there is a increasing demand in pottery market, the author still need to see the prices of
pottery. If most of the pottery are far less expensive than paintings, and Christine stores always cater to the highly-level customers, then this kind of repositioning will ruin the image of the store. Rather than reallocating shelf space of all stores, the author could suggest to making a trial in one store. In this way, losses will be minimized.

Even stores would raallocate shelf space and begin selling more pottery. It has no evidence tha profits will increase undoubtly. As what has been stated above, college-age individuals might not have a lot of purchasing ability, even there is a huge demand in those group. Pofit margin, sadly, would not be as good as paintings'.

Unless careful resarch about the pottery market has proved that college students have huge potential in buying pottery and profit margin is appealing, Christine can not take a ill-conceived action on the basis of these fallcious assumptions.

红绡UID: 2839171

1# selinashen

作业是81题。
修改---by潇

This article, even carefully presenting reasons to support its conclusion in carrying a large volume of pottery supplies, has some problems in reasoning.

In considering
（Considering）the newspaper's report about the growth number in potters. It does not incite (indicate) where does the figure come from. It is possible that 18% growth is forged. (这个攻击点不是主要的，而且像是在攻击已成事实)And even the number of potters has risen in the past 5 years, it does not necessarily mean that local demand for pottery has increased accordingly. (三句都有语法错误)Maybe being a potter is a easier job.（这句话有什么作用？） In addition, even pottery is very popular among college campuses, college students are still smaller group of people if compared with all the citizens, and hence they cannot represent the whole country about the popularity of pottery. （太绝对了，你可以说可能是这样的情况。而且针对这个攻击点，更有利的反驳是，大学生中很少有人有这样的财力去推进陶制品销售。）
实际上这一段攻击了两点，可划成两段稍展开论述。

And recent decline in selling paintings does not necessarily mean the end of painting market. The author should consider other possible reasons of the declining demand in painting and increasing demand in pottery. Perhaps this country is in the stage of economic recession,（这个理由不合适，整个经济萧条，不只会给画的市场带来影响，也包括陶制品市场） and most of the paintings are very expensive（这点也不一定…）. Hence at this critical moment, customers would rather buy food than paintings. And even there is a increasing demand in pottery market, the author still need to see the prices of
pottery. If most of the pottery are far less expensive than paintings, and Christine stores always cater to the highly-level customers, then this kind of repositioning will ruin the image of the store. Rather than reallocating shelf space of all stores, the author could suggest to making（make） a trial in one store. In this way, losses will be minimized.

Even stores would reallocate shelf space and begin selling（to sell） more pottery. It has no evidence the profits will increase undoubtedly. As what has been stated above, college-age individuals might not have a lot of purchasing ability, (这一点怎么又在这里补充说了，逻辑有些乱)even there is a huge demand in those groups. Profit margin, sadly, would not be as good as paintings'.

Unless careful research about the pottery market has proved that college students have huge potential in buying pottery and profit margin is appealing, Christine cannot（cannot连写，不用分开） take a ill-conceived action on the basis of these fallacious assumptions.

语法错误，拼写错误过多，逻辑有些乱，建议看看修锐给的argument提纲。整理下思路。