【1010G8月AW小组】【我们的小组】【ISSUE51】by星月

zhangxingyueUID: 2851383

ISSUE51 Education will be trully effictive only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.

The speaker asserts that, as long as the educators want to instruct the students effectively, they must design the education issues to meet every student's need and interests. While I agree that in some aspects in the education students' personal interests and needs should be took into account, I insist that, some curriculums, even are far from students' desire but helpful for students' character improvement, as well as the ones that meet the students' unreasonable interests, should be given second thought to determine whether they should be put into the box.

First of all, the education of student-centered form does show more effectiveness than the traditional form of teacher-centered.
The teacher-centered education tend to ignore the interests and need of each student, taking all the students as a single one student, at the same time consider little about their interests or need,  and all the contains of the curriculums are determined without asking for any opinion from the students, just take my elementary school time for example. At the beginning of every semester, all of our courses are settled and the very plans, the processes, of the teachers' instruction on certain courses are also required to be worked out before the semester began, which means, the every day, every class of the semester has already been arranged, and every student is
obligated to obey the determined plans. There is no doubt that most issue about a single student's interests or specific need are ignored from the instruction, neither a extra beg for some knowledge about class-irrelevant issue nor a student’s legging behind in understanding a given theory would be paid attention by a teacher.


However, things can be like this, when are put in the students-centered education, as the speaker says,
students' interests and need are taken as the guide of teaching, everything is within the students' willingness, then how about the curriculums out of the students' interests but are essential for them to get fully developed? As we all know, there are some courses students certainly have unpleasant association with but undoubtedly necessary for them to develop a qualified personality as well as a logical perspective toward the world. For example, the Advanced Mathematics curriculum in nowadays' Chinese colleges, toward which quite a few students consider impertinent to what they are focusing on in their own majors, especially for those majors like  literature or management. But the educators, the stuff who should have a perspective above the whole situation, should know that the Advanced Mathematics do help the students acquire a logical sense, which is vital for the success in their future careers. So even some curriculums violate students' interests or need as they perspective, these curriculums should still be concluded into the education system.

In addition, when it comes to the students' interests and needs, the unreasonable ones should also be took into account. Undoubtedly, working at students' unreasonable desires would deem to be followed by chaos in education. Imagine, if the students in a college ask for adding PE classes to three times each day, for the reason of The Olympic Games is coming and every citizen should pay more time on exercise, then should the college reply to satisfy the students? Though this example is some kind of extreme, it indicates that some time the students' requests may be obviously unreasonable and should not be followed.

To sum up, equilibrium should be accomplished between the need and interests of each student, and the guidance of the educators' perspective above the whole issue of education. In another word, an effective education should both be guided by a resonable perspective as a whole and the interests as well as the need of each student.

verydarkUID: 2765585

ISSUE51 Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.

The speaker asserts that, as long as the educators want to instruct the students effectively, they must design the education issues to meet every student's need and interests. While I agree that in some aspects in the education students' personal interests and needs should be taken into account, I insist that, some curriculums, even are far from students' desire but helpful for students' character improvement, as well as the ones that meet the students' unreasonable (我觉得这个逻辑关系有点乱，应该是reasonable吧) interests, should be given second thought (second thought是重新考虑的意思，用在这里似乎并不妥当) to determine whether they should be put into the box.
首段感觉不够明快，观点给的不清楚，让人不是很明白你想表达的观点是什么，应该跟句子的使用不当有一定关联，建议你重写一下While I agree…后面的长句子，把你想表达的position表达清楚，个人觉得用简单明了的句子最好。

First of all, the education of student-centered form does show more effectiveness than the traditional form of teacher-centered. The teacher-centered education tend to ignore the interests and need of each student, taking all the students as a single one student（as a single ensemble without individualities）, and consider little about their interests or need at the same time, and all the contains of the curriculums are determined without asking for any opinion from the students, just take my elementary school time for example. 这长句子写的有点。。建议你分成若干个短句At the beginning of every semester, all of our courses are settled and the very plans, the processes, of the teachers' instruction on certain courses are also required to be worked out before the semester began, which means, the every day, every class of the semester has already been arranged, and every student is obligated to obey the determined plans.你说all of our… 是说自身经历还是举例论证？美国人未必会有同感。如果是说自身经历，你应该简要阐述一下背景。【看到这里感觉你写一个句子之前没有考虑和构思，似乎想到什么就往里头填什么，句子写得很长但是意思表达的不清楚，例如这句，很多逗号用得没道理。还是建议分成几个短句】 There is no doubt that most issues about a single student's interests or specific need are ignored from the instruction, neither a extra beg for some knowledge about class-irrelevant （这个用法可以吗？）issue nor a student’s lagging(你应该是想用lag 吧，我推测) behind in understanding a given theory would be paid attention（concerned） by a teacher.
例子还是比较好的支持了该段的ts，但还需进一步的修饰和完善，以便读者能更体会你的论点，因为国外的人未必了解认识我们的教育模式

However, things can be like this, when are put in the students-centered education, as the speaker says, students' interests and need are taken（regarded） as the guide(the first consideration/the biggest thing in teaching) of teaching, everything is within the students' willingness, then how about the curriculums out of the students' interests but are essential for them to get fully developed? 这里还是建议你分句，先说如果情况怎样，再分句说那么…的问题如何解决As we all know, there are some courses students certainly have unpleasant association with, but undoubtedly are necessary for them to develop a qualified personality and logical perspective toward(好像一般用towards，应该都行？） the world. Take the example of the advanced mathematics curriculum in nowadays' Chinese colleges, toward which quite a few students consider impertinent to what they are focusing on in their own majors, especially for those majors like literature or management. But the educators, the stuff who should have a perspective above the whole situation, should know that the Advanced Mathematics does help the students acquire a logical sense, which is vital for the success in their future careers.这段的例子你应该说Student-centered education有…样的弊端，你这个例子举出来似乎并不convincing，这还是Teacher-centered的教育模式里发生的事，对不？So even some curriculums violate students' interests or need as they perspective（desire/expect）, these curriculums should still be concluded into（included in） the education system.

In addition, when it comes to the students' interests and needs, the unreasonable ones should also be took into account. Undoubtedly, working at students' unreasonable desires would deem to be followed by chaos in education. （这句话啥意思？是不是有错）Imagine, if the students in a college ask for adding PE classes to three times each day, for the reason of The Olympic Games is coming and every citizen should pay more time on exercise, then should the college reply to satisfy the students? Though this example is some kind of extreme, it sufficiently indicates that some time the students' requests may be obviously unreasonable and should not be followed.

To sum up, equilibrium should be accomplished between the need and interests of each student and the guidance of the educators' perspective above the whole picture of education. In another word, an effective education should both be guided by a reasonable perspective as a whole and the interests as well as the need of each student.这两句话说的是一个事，用一句就行了

我感觉整篇文章的论证还有所欠缺，说服力不够，例子不够convincing，另外有很多句子比较混乱，开头和结尾个人感觉也需要一些修改。但整体的结构比较清楚，层次和条理都比较清晰，基本上把理说通了，这是很好的。水平有限，仅供参考O(∩_∩)O~

by【❀雨】