Issue130【六人行小组7.25】by odie

odiehereUID: 2502172

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 528          TIME: 00:55:00          DATE: 2010-7-25 18:03:12


抱歉送晚了，还有提纲没有完成，等会儿送来。
文章写得烂啊，完全没思路。。。



I generally agree with the statement that the way that parents raise their children is vital for the full development of children, and the cumulative result of the development of all children will finally shape the future of our society. I also agree that most parents are not fully aware of the importance to search for the best way to raise their children-- in fact, they are so ignorant that I believe the first thing the society shall do is to call parents' attention to at least spend more efforts to cultivate their children into responsible members of the society, before any further efforts can be done to try to raise children into ones " who can help bring about a better society", which sounds like an objective which is more abstract and harder to achieve.


A lot of times the society has forgotten how important it is for the family to build up a healthy atmosphere for the growth of the child. The media is criticizing the government for not pumping enough investment into the sector of public education, believing that better and broader education will ultimately rescue the next generation. Parents often complain that the society  is not doing its responsible part in creating an ideal world to bring positive influence to children, because the modern society is stuffed with violence and pornography from TV programs, seduction from online computer games, etc. However, little criticism is heard about the role of parents. The society tends to believe that child-raising is a private issue of the family. So that is the government and the society are not doing their best in providing the best conditions for the development of the children, they are to be blamed; but if a family is not doing well in raising their own children, it may or may not be their fault-- and it is none of our business. The result of this strange conception is that we never realize that everyone in the society shall have the responsibility to educate parents-- not only children. Educating parents on how to bring up children is one of the most important factors in bringing out high quality children for our future society, and is an urgent matter which concerns about the benefit of every one of us.


To solve the problem, we shall find out means to attract parents into educational programs about effective means of raising children, and the most important thing is to familiarize everyone with the conception that it is the way in which parents help socialize and cultivate their children that influence the forming of children's characters most. The booming of "parents' school" aiming to provide a platform for parents to share skills of educating children is a necessary trend in our society.


One efficient way to predict the results of our efforts in getting the whole society, especially parents into finding the most reasonable way to educate children is simply to look at ourselves-- in retrospect, who will deny that we will be at a better position to make more contributions to the society at present, if our parents had cultivated us in a more holistic and caring way?

crazyjooUID: 2805124

I generally agree with the statement that the way that parents raise their children is vital for the full development of children, and the cumulative result of the development of all children will finally shape the future of our society. I also agree that most parents are not fully aware of the importance to search for the best way to raise their children(importance of searching.. important to do sth)-- in fact, they are so ignorant that I believe the first thing the society shall do is to call parents' attention to at least spend more efforts ( on cultivating.. spend sth on doing sith )to cultivate their children into responsible members of the society, before any further efforts can be done to try to raise children into ones " who can help bring about a better society", which sounds like an objective which is more abstract and harder to achieve.

A lot of times the society has forgotten how important it is for the family to build up a healthy atmosphere for the growth of the child. The media is criticizing the government for not pumping enough investment into the sector of public education, believing that better and broader education will ultimately rescue the next generation. Parents often complain that the society is not doing its responsible part in creating an ideal world to bring positive influence to children, because the modern society is stuffed with violence and pornography from TV programs, seduction from online computer games, etc. However, little criticism is heard about the role of parents. The society tends to believe that child-raising is a private issue of the family. So that is the government and the society are not doing their best in providing the best conditions for the development of the children, they are to be blamed; but if a family is not doing well in raising their own children, it may or may not be their fault-- and it is none of our business. The result of this strange conception is that we never realize that everyone in the society shall have the responsibility to educate parents-- not only children. Educating parents on how to bring up children is one of the most important factors in bringing out high quality children for our future society, and is an urgent matter which concerns about the benefit of every one of us.
(第二段想表达的意思很多，但是缺少主题句，导致辩证很混乱无重点的感觉。老美不喜欢中国式思维---从结尾引出自己的主题，希望修改）
To solve the problem, we shall find out means to attract parents into educational programs about effective means of raising children, and the most important thing is to familiarize everyone with the conception that it is the way in which parents help socialize and cultivate their children that influence the forming of children's characters most. The booming of "parents' school" aiming to provide a platform for parents to share skills of educating children is a necessary trend in our society.

One efficient way to predict the results of our efforts in getting the whole society, especially parents into finding the most reasonable way to educate children is simply to look at ourselves-- in retrospect, who will deny that we will be at a better position to make more contributions to the society at present, if our parents had cultivated us in a more holistic and caring way?

文章结构感不大明显，希望能多读读范文。 辩证略显仓促，全文给人头重脚轻之感。
多多加油！共同进步！

odiehereUID: 2502172