欢迎猛拍砖~Issue48【六人行小组7.27】

xyjprcUID: 2412778

先感谢和我一组帮我批改作文的同学~~~
由于这是我刚开始练，所以没有限时间，写得可能有些长，句子表义不够高效，所以还请耐心看完然后使劲拍砖啦~
嗯，写的第一篇历史类题目，不过话题的确很有代表性呢，在写的过程中也梳理了一下相关的论据什么的，收获很大收获很大~
其它几篇的提纲晚饭后发上来，先上Issue全文~


TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
WORDS: 642
TIME: 01:58:03
DATE: 7/27/2010 6:24:55 PM

Who was the composer of history, the famous few or groups of ordinary people who were forgotten no long after their death? Despite the fact that the renown had really played important roles in most significant events in the history, it is ordinary people that had made history possible and fundamentally facilitated all significant events. The history is like a novel, which outlines are made by the famous few while the story is completed by groups of ordinary people.

Admittedly, the effect individuals played on history cannot be ignored. Some leaders, especially those with strong political or military power, could command large groups of people, thus conducting historically significant events. This could be seen more clearly during war times when the commander of the army directly determines the whole country's fate. If it were not for the Chinese Emperor Qin Shihuang's fear of being attacked by the north hordes, the world wonder Great Wall would never be built. If it were not for the radical racism conducted by the infamous leader Hitler, the Jew would not have been nearly annihilated. Even some famous scientists would greatly affect the history. If it were not Einstein who propose the Mass Energy Equation, the atom bomb would never be possible to made, and the World War II would not end that soon. In various aspects, the power, money and knowledge of the famous few have great impact on history, and paying attention on them would definitely help the study of history.

However, as the famous few were directors of history, groups of people were the real actors who perform the history. The individual could draw plans toward certain targets, but he had to rely on the help of those who support him, otherwise hardly any individual have the direct ability to write determine history. Without the help of the discriminated black slaves and passionate white supporters in the north, Lincoln with his dream to liberate all the black slaves would never defeat the south planting farm owners himself. Without the struggle of his people, Lenin would never announce the end of Tsar's tyranny in Russia. Without the support of thousands of technicians who made the spacecraft for him, Armstrong would never be the first man who sets his footprints on the Moon. In brief, without the efforts made by groups of people whose identities may have long been forgotten, most significant events could never be accomplished.

In another aspect, it is the will of most people, but not any individual, that had actually determined the route of history. The famous few, in most cases, serve more as the representation of the majority of people. This is particularly manifest in the recent years when democracy is stressed more frequently. Usually the famous few were elected by their people as best representatives of the interest of the majority, then the few did what their people desire, and this is the most common political structure in the modern world. If an individual fails to act for his people, he would be impeached and another more competent one would substitute him. Even long ago in the feudalism time, the humble peasants would arrange an insurrection to terminate the domination of the tyrant. As the famous few were only representatives of the majority of people, it is the ordinary people's will that had determined the history and definitely worth investigating to benefit the study of history.

In conclusion, emphasizing on those famous individuals who have the power to affect history would benefit the study of history, while fundamentally said, it is the large groups of ordinary people who act as the determinant of history made most significant events and trends possible, and they are the most indispensable ones that should be paid attention to in the study of history, although most of whom identities have long been forgotten.

mn0331UID: 2739758

Who was the composer[用fouder可能更合适] of history, the famous few or groups of ordinary people who were forgotten no long after their death? Despite the fact that the renown[这个词是声望吧，可以直接用celebrity] had really played important roles in most significant events in the history, it is ordinary people that had made history possible and fundamentally facilitated all significant events. The history is like a novel, which outlines are made by the famous few while the story is completed by groups of ordinary people.[比喻用的很好！~]
Admittedly, the effect individuals played on history cannot be ignored. Some leaders, especially those with strong political or military power, could command large groups of people, thus conducting historically significant events. This could be seen more clearly during war times when the commander of the army directly determines the whole country's fate. If it were not for the Chinese Emperor Qin Shihuang's fear of being attacked by the north hordes, the world wonder Great Wall would never be built.[中国元素，很吸引眼球] If it were not for the radical racism conducted by the infamous leader Hitler, the Jew would not have been nearly annihilated. Even some famous scientists would greatly affect the history. If it were not Einstein who propose the Mass Energy Equation, the atom bomb would never be possible to made, and the World War II would not end that soon. In various aspects, the power, money and knowledge of the famous few have great impact on history, and paying attention on them would definitely help the study of history.[这段例证很不错的说！~]
However, as the famous few were directors of history, groups of people were the real actors who perform the history. The individual could draw plans toward certain targets, but he had to rely on the help of those who support him, otherwise hardly any individual have the direct ability to write determine history. Without the help of the discriminated black slaves and [the North’s] passionate white supporters in the north[这个有歧义了，直接放passionate前面吧], Lincoln with his dream to liberate all the black slaves would never defeat the south planting farm owners himself. Without the struggle of his people, Lenin would never announce the end of Tsar's tyranny in Russia. Without the support of thousands of technicians who made the spacecraft for him[不能是for him吧，建议删了], Armstrong would never be the first man who sets his footprints on the Moon. In brief, without the efforts made by groups of people whose identities may have long been forgotten, most significant events could never be accomplished [建议后面加一句，那些famous few也不会被后代记住。] .
In another aspect, it is the will of most people, but not any individual, that had actually determined the route of history. The famous few, in most cases, serve more as the representation of the majority of people. This is particularly manifest in the recent years when democracy is stressed more frequently. Usually the famous few were elected by their people as best representatives of the interest of the majority, then the few did what their people desire, and this is the most common political structure in the modern world. If an individual fails to act for his people, he would be impeached and another more competent one would substitute him. Even long ago in the feudalism time, the humble peasants would arrange an insurrection to terminate the domination of the tyrant. As the famous few were only representatives of the majority of people, it is the ordinary people's will that had determined the history and definitely worth investigating to benefit the study of history.[很强大的论证，个人觉得例子不如前面有说服力，不过和我比很好了~]
In conclusion, emphasizing on those famous individuals who have the power to affect history would benefit the study of history, while fundamentally said, it is the large groups of ordinary people who act as the determinant of history made most significant events and trends possible, and they are the most indispensable ones that should be paid attention to in the study of history, although most of whom identities have long been forgotten.
[总的来说脉络清楚，最让我羡慕的是例子用的很好很丰富，让文章有血有肉。我对ISSUE的把握还仅仅停留在把话说清楚的层面上，怎样用其他的东西去支撑自己的想法是我的欠缺，同样是字数上不去的原因。值得我学习！~]