六人行7.28 issue

迷失的鱼UID: 2850922

TOPIC: ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
WORDS: 631
TIME: 00:51:28
DATE: 2010/7/28 0:54:17

When in prehistory, human covered their bodies with leaves and fury to keep warn. It can represent the social demand to keep survive. However, with the development of civilization and society, people learn how to show and pretend, both of which, may mislead others of their inside ideal and thought.

That every culture has its own clothing is reasonable. This kind of clothes does not only differentiate one culture from another, it also expresses the social idea or hope of cultures during that time. For example, in ancient China, those minor persons dress gold and silver in order to drive away demons and beg for a good luck. Also the case on Muslim women, each of who should wear a scarf to cover their hair, for fear others will see it. This kind of behavior follows the idea of Muslim, supposing women should be unpretentious, and the best way to realize it is to cover their hair or even everything but eyes. In that case, clothing is indeed mirror the idea and values more or less for it is a long time with the development of society that could establish their special clothing tradition.

However, when people dress in their daily clothes especially young people who want to show their spirit through their exaggerated clothing, those kind of cloth become a signal of one generation, one group or even one person. For example, teenagers would like to dress sport clothing to show their zealot of sports but when they become employees in the future, few of them would like to wear sport clothing in daily life because they think it looks naive and these kind of clothing suits teenagers only. Nowadays, different generations, different jobs, different status may have their own "standard" uniform, which may express what kind of job they have or what status they own. These clothing now more represent one group or one single layer of society but not demonstrate the idea and values of society as a whole.

With the development of civilization, people get to know how to establish a expected image in others eye and through act, dress or even look they make a pretense to mislead people to the road they devised and leave people the wanted memory. It is not rarely seems in our daily life. When a boss want higher efficiency of their employees while he used to be kind and friendly, not usually get angry, it may better work if he pretend to be strict and angry about low efficiency, which may raise respect and fear among employees, than treat with them with regular attitude, which may work in some situations but useless claimed by most bosses who have tried this. Similarly, actor and other popular people all want to leave masses a good image, which may helpful in attracting public, but whether they are all good enough as we see through TV? Are they all so friendly, well-educated, civilized as we known? We can easily dispute it with some examples we know. In that case, we actually cannot absolutely know a person through their look, dress, act, ect.

To know completely how is the person or is the society, we should not only through the appearance it exhibits to us, which may mislead us with purposed intense, and what we should do is get to touch the person or society, to feel them. Through a relative longer time of feeling, you will understand both the appearance outside and thought as well as spirit inside.

Sum up, although some clothes represent the hope and idea of the society during some special time, we should not understand a society with sole appearance. To feel them is the better way to understand a person or a society because you can touch their soul.

Eileen312UID: 2648750

When in prehistory, human covered their bodies with leaves and fury to keep warn[warm]. It can represent the social demand to keep survive. However, with the development of civilization and society, people learn how to show and pretend, both of which, may mislead others of their inside ideal and thought.[你这个开头很独特！会让评卷人聪千篇一律的开头中清醒过来]

That every culture has its own clothing is reasonable. This kind of clothes does not only differentiate one culture from another, it also expresses the social idea or hope of cultures during that time. For example, in ancient China, those minor persons dress gold and silver in order to drive away demons and beg for a good luck[是不是要点到social cultural上？感觉少点东西]. Also the case on Muslim women, each of who should wear a scarf to cover their hair, for fear others will see it. This kind of behavior follows the idea of Muslim, supposing women should be unpretentious, and the best way to realize it is to cover their hair or even everything but eyes. In that case, clothing is indeed mirror the idea and values more or less for it is a long time with the development of society that could establish their special clothing tradition[后面这个例子就点得很到位了].

However, when people dress in their daily clothes especially young people who want to show their spirit through their exaggerated clothing, those[that] kind of cloth become a signal of one generation, one group or even one person. For example, teenagers would like to dress sport clothing to show their zealot of sports but when they become employees in the future, few of them would like to wear sport clothing in daily life because they think it looks naive and these kind of clothing suits teenagers only. Nowadays, different generations, different jobs, different status may have their own "standard" uniform, which may express what kind of job they have or what status they own. These clothing now more represent one group or one single layer of society but not demonstrate the idea and values of society as a whole.
[以上两段都与服装有关，不看下一段的话，我还以为跑题了呢。所以以上两段是不是几句话往主题上扯一下]
With the development of civilization, people get to know how to establish a[an] expected image in others eye and through act, dress or even look they make a pretense to mislead people to the road they devised and leave people the wanted memory. It is not rarely seems in our daily life. When a boss want higher efficiency of their employees while he used to be kind and friendly, not usually get angry, it may better work if he pretend to be strict and angry about low efficiency, which may raise respect and fear among employees, [rather?]than treat with them with regular attitude, which may work in some situations but useless claimed by most bosses who have tried this. Similarly, actor and other popular people all want to leave masses a good image, which may helpful in attracting public, but whether they are all good enough as we see through TV? Are they all so friendly, well-educated, civilized as we known[know]? We can easily dispute it with some examples we know. In that case, we actually cannot absolutely know a person through their look, dress, act, ect.

To know completely how is the person or is the society, we should not only through the appearance it exhibits to us, which may mislead us with purposed intense, and what we should do is get to touch the person or society, to feel them. Through a relative longer time of feeling, you will understand both the appearance outside and thought as well as spirit inside.[前面说XXX是不对的，这里提出应该怎样做，很好！]

Sum up, although some clothes represent the hope and idea of the society during some special time, we should not understand a society with sole appearance. To feel them is the better way to understand a person or a society because you can touch their soul.
[你的观点是慢慢引出的，而非开章名义。一开始会有摸不到头脑的感觉，越到后来越明朗。是不是开头简单说总的观点会好些的？当然，这可能是你的文风]
[读完你的文章，明白了为什么自己放那么多逻辑词还是没有逻辑感了。]
[行云流水~佩服！]

xyjprcUID: 2412778

嗯~好文呀~
提点点建议，写长难句的时候注意一下语法~还有When a boss那句是不是忒长了一点？。。。或许是我阅读能力不行，不过个人以为在适当的地方拆开思维会更清楚。