issue59 高频49 求拍~~

sugarzhiUID: 2324295

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TOPIC: ISSUE59 - "Too much emphasis is placed on role models. Instead of copying others, people should learn to think and act independently and thus make the choices that are best for them."
WORDS: 519          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2010-8-13 上午 09:18:54

What a time is it today? Is it a "model" time? Is it the case that we have placed too much emphasis on role models? How should we treat so-called role models? Should people copy them or act independently and make their own choice that good for them? As far as I am concerned, role models are good examples for people to learn since the merits they hold, yet we should not see them as "perfect" man, and then copy whatever they do.



To begin with, I acknowledge that role model is important especially for children. No matter what nation you are in, children in school always are taught to learn from either famous national wide known or world known role models. For example, I guess most of the children have learned the story of great physical scientist  Einstein. We were told what makes him success is though the hard working and knowledge accumulation, and if we want to attain similar or higher success as Einstein do, we'd better learn from him. Examples like this are numerable. Though such education, children are able to move forward since they play as a goal or a "role" for children. In short, role models needed at one's early age.



However, one thing deserve to keep in mind is that we should not imitate whatever they act for the simple reason that role model is nobody but human beings like all of us. That is to say, they can make mistakes. Mao Zedong-chairman of the People's Republic of China, for example, are definitely one of the great politician in 20 century, and his stories which showing brave behaviors and strategics thought are widely spread within or ever out of China. However, as I mentioned above, no matter how great a person is, he is still a person. Mao's mistakes made in his later life are not a good example any more. Thus, a objective attitude toward "role model" is of great need. Like Lu Xun-one of Chinese famous writer once said,"hold the essence, abandon the dregs." And I agree with him, it should be a good and practical religion to treat role models.



Further, we are not in a "hero worship" time any more. Everyone can make their own hero. The worldwide known magazine TIME once asked a question and make it the front page, the question goes like this, who is the people of this year? And the answer is-the people of this year is-YOU. It has clearly shown that we are now in a world that anyone can influence others around them. Every individual who have their own thought, act independently, know themselves, understand the world, have correct pursuit and dreams, willing to fulfill the dream whatever pains it will take, and even the courage to face the fail, can make themselves their own "model".



To summarize, role models are still of great importance because of their "shining" part which can exert a exemplary effort on people. However, in the modern society, every single individuals can achieve their own dreams and make their own best choice by just doing themselves!

870416UID: 2527804

1.How should we treat so-called role models?
treat→regard 看了牛津的解释，treat的解释更趋向于治愈cure。而且treat sth，一般是治愈。
看了你后面的see 又感觉可以，不确定，有待讨论。
so-called "role models"; 一般so-called 后面的东西都是带引号表示irony

2.Should people copy them or act independently and make their own choice that good for them?
that is good for them。
感觉并列有点混乱，最好两句，要不就是and改为then

3.yet we should not see them as "perfect" man, and then copy whatever they do.
see： regard， treat

4.To begin with, I acknowledge that role model is important especially for children.
especially important

5.children in school always are taught to learn from either famous national wide known or world known role models.
famous national wide known or world known太中文了
children in school are always learning role models who are celebrated in their country or in the world.

For example, I guess that most of the children have learned the story of A great physical scientist  Einstein. We were told THAT what makes him success is though the hard working and knowledge accumulation, and if we want to attain similar or(EVEN 更好些) higher success as(前面 有个比较级AS就不能在这了把？删掉as Einstein do比较安全) Einstein do, we'd better learn from him. Examples like this are numerable（还是unnumbered）. Though（through） such education, children are able to（can，be able to 是有能力，好像和有能力前进没能力前进无关） move forward since they(这个指代太远了。。已经乱了) play as a goal or a "role" for children. In short, role models ARE needed at one's early age.

870416UID: 2527804

我是第一次在寄托上改作文，纯属个人建议，不一定准确，欢迎讨论。

给我的印象是思维比较混乱，基本意思还是表达出来了。完全可能是因为掐时间的原因，你这是在45分钟写出来的吗？如果是那比我好了，因为我昨天练了下根本没写完，这方面需要多学习多练习练习。

建议：仔细分析几篇范文，如果上过新东方，分析下老师或者范文怎么样阐述观点的，就看一段，从中心句怎么变下来，然后说些什么，最后怎么收的，可能会有收获~还有就是用词方面，虽然我觉得我限时也根本没那能力去想好结构和用词，但是我们需要向那个方面努力~：）

共勉之~

我的第一次上传习作（限时没写完，后来补完，修改后的）
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... xtra=page%3D1%26amp;filter%3Dtype%26amp;typeid%3D101

sugarzhiUID: 2324295

非常感谢 正在看你的文不计其数是 numerous
你什么时候在哪考啊
3# 870416