melodyfeelings的写作小贴

melodyfeelingsUID：2855338

占座
如下~~

melodyfeelingsUID：2855338

第一次写IW~感谢大家拍砖~

TPO09 INTEGRATED WRITING – 8.30

Generally speaking, the lecture retorts the advantages of the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine while admitting the drawbacks of the internal combustion engine, which is presented in the reading.
The first point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that hydrogen is definitely not easily available while the reading thinks quite the opposite. According to his speaking, the underlying process of a fuel-cell engine requires the artificial pure hydrogen, which is a kind of liquid extremely hard to produce or store due to the demands of extreme cold circumstance and special facility to provide it.
Secondly, the reading asserts that hydrogen can solve the world’s pollution problems while the professor doesn’t believe in its utility. In his view, although the only byproduct of fuel-cell engine is water, the purification of hydrogen produces pollution as well, resulting from the combustion of coal and oil in order to provide energy for it.
Thirdly, the professor indicates that the platinum, which is rather expensive, is an undispensable material of the fuel-cell engine. This is incongruous with the article’s suggestion that fuel-cell engine could be cost-saving.
In conclusion, the three points illustrated in the lecture demonstrated that fuel-cell engine is the most promising source, the view in reading, is certainly in doubt.

melodyfeelingsUID：2855338

9月2日交5 Y! ~0 Q. p5 D, k  ]5 q09.06.12NA   
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.

Some, holding this belief that college students are not supposed to take part-time jobs, claim that they ought to concentrate their time exclusively on study. Although I partly agree with them, from my perspective, part-time jobs benefit these students in university from the aspects of enriching work experience and improving the independent ability.
Initially, the high rate of unemployment nowadays has been such a severe issue that many graduates, even those from top schools, confront a plight that graduation is synonymous to unemployment for college students. What makes the situation worse, the students spend most of their time on study and the lack of work experience makes them rather unsophisticated for the society. In order to reverse this adversity, taking part-time jobs appears to be advantageous considering the fact that, apart from internship, it seems to be a congenial way for the undergraduates to attain work experience, for example the interpersonal communication as salesmen, waiters, tutors, which enhances their competitive strength in job-hunting afterwards and qualifies them to set foot in the society.
An additional factor involves the recognition of financial profits. Indubitably, taking part-time jobs bring about a ration of money, which can be really profitable both materially and mentally. For the students studying in universities, especially those who need financial aid, for example, they could make a use of the money they earn on themselves to meet the tuition or life expense, which contributes to releasing the financial burden of their family as well as cultivating the sense of social responsibility and developing individual skills of subsistence for all the undergraduates as adults. All these independent abilities lend more maturity to the college students at the beginning of the adulthood.
Admittedly, to some degree, taking part-time jobs results in the possibility of a distraction of time and energy from study, which ought to be a prerequisite undertaking for the students in universities. Nevertheless, if only the students have an access to an appropriate allotment between work and study and utilize their time wisely, the problem can be easily solved and part-time jobs can become a beneficial addition to the campus life from the aspects having been illustrated above.

zhouchlcyUID：2847817

Some, holding this belief that college students are not supposed to take part-time jobs, claim that they ought to concentrate their time exclusively on study. Although I partly agree with them, from my perspective, part-time jobs benefit these students in university from the aspects of enriching work experience and improving the independent ability.(改为to do更简洁些)
Initially, the high rate of unemployment nowadays has been such a severe issue that many graduates, even those from top schools, confront a plight（好词，学习） that graduation is synonymous to unemployment for college students. What makes the situation worse, the students spend most of their time on study and the lack of work experience makes them rather unsophisticated for the society. In order to reverse this adversity, taking part-time jobs appears to be advantageous considering the fact that, apart from internship, it seems to be a congenial （好词，学习）way for the undergraduates to attain work experience, for example the interpersonal communication as salesmen, waiters, tutors, which enhances their competitive strength in job-hunting afterwards and qualifies them to set foot in the society.
An additional factor involves the recognition of financial profits. Indubitably, taking part-time jobs bring about a ration of money, which can be really profitable both materially and mentally. For the students studying in universities, especially those who need financial aid, for example, they could make a use of the money they earn on themselves to meet the tuition or life expense, which contributes to releasing the financial burden of their family as well as cultivating the sense of social responsibility and developing individual skills of subsistence for all the undergraduates as adults. （这句太长了吧，建议分个句吧）All these independent abilities lend more maturity to the college students at the beginning of the adulthood
Admittedly, to some degree, taking part-time jobs results in the possibility of a distraction of time and energy from study, which ought to be a prerequisite undertaking for the students in universities. Nevertheless, if only the students have an access to an appropriate allotment（好词，学习） between work and study and utilize their time wisely, the problem can be easily solved and part-time jobs can become a beneficial addition to the campus life from the aspects having been illustrated above.（感觉from后面内容有点多余）
整体觉得词汇很丰富。而且很巧的是，我列举的原因几乎和楼主一样耶

melodyfeelingsUID：2855338

4# zhouchlcy
恩~感谢意见~ 你用的一些词汇也不错哇~
嘿嘿~感觉这个topic差不多就这些点咯~
我觉得自己写的好生硬哦~
恩恩 加油~

dailiangzhenUID：2679058

9月2日交5 Y! ~0 Q. p5 D, k  ]5 q09.06.12NA   ( g4 U' Y0 X5 x: ]4 h8 w
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.6 g5 U7 _0 t  t4 v9 @8 U5 T8 D* T
感觉这篇文章的词汇和句子运用的很不错。特别提一下的是词汇，和zhouchlcy一样，有许多好词是我需要学习的。但是还是有一点，文章的句子能否使用多使用一些简单句，那样会更好。共同努力，我很看好你呦:lol

melodyfeelingsUID：2855338

9月4日交
09.08.01NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life

Some, holding this belief that recognition by other people is not a prerequisite of success, claim that the definition of success differs from people, so one could obtain his successful life in a personal satisfying way without any applaud from others. However, I concede this assert. From my perspective, the status of being successful in life includes the aspects of the appreciation by other people and potential opportunities of additional success it may bring about.
Initially, taking further interpretations into what factors contribute to success arouses the question that, after all, what success is. The most perceptible comprehension of success is the achieving one’s goal, which means that success could be subtle things obtained easily by anyone, like to get a table at a busy restaurant or to catch the last bus home. However, as the question indicates, being successful in life has a more complex and overall definition in sociology. Since man is a gregarious animal, whether he or she lives a successful life ought to be evaluated by the society rather than individual only. Consequently, people, who had no doubt in their own success, wouldn’t be considered as successful if your accomplishments were not accepted by the society. There were cases that talented but frustrated people railed at the world for its neglect of his genius.

In addition, regardless of different social roles, the recognition of your strengths by other people makes a prodigious contribution to your success. For example, as a student in university, the opportunity of participation in a research project is provided by an appreciative professor, while, similarly, the promotion of an employee demands a certification from the supervisor. All these occasions serve as stepping-stones on the pursuit of success. On contrary, impossible is an access to success without any appreciation from others. Generally speaking, one’s success cannot be achieved without other’s supports, which result from their recognitions. So, one could gain rare supports, thus less chances to be successful, with others’ ignorance.
Undeniably, in some extreme examples, some celebrities could attain their success in some particular field like philosophy without any help of other’s cognition. Nevertheless, the fact that people are familiar with their achievement lends more credibility to the underlying signification of being recognized.

有些语法错误小小的更正了一下~

日落沙发UID：2764889

9月4日交
09.08.01NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life.

Some, holding this belief that recognition by other people is not a prerequisite of success, claim that the definition of success differs from people （加to people）, so one could obtain his successful life in a personal satisfying way without any applaud from others. However, I concede this assert. From my perspective, the status of being successful in life includes the aspects of the appreciation by other people and potential opportunities of additional success it may bring about.%
\7 Y2 U, Q- b6 e& N
Initially, taking further interpretations into what factors contribute to success arouses (改成 arouse) the question that, after all, what success is. The most perceptible comprehension of success is the achieving （改成 achievement of） one’s goal, which means that success could be subtle things obtained easily by anyone, like to（to删除） get （getting） a table at a busy restaurant or to catch (catching) the last bus home. However, as the question indicates, being successful in life has a more complex and overall definition in sociology. Since man is a gregarious animal, whether he or she lives a successful life ought to be evaluated by the society rather than individual only. Consequently, people, who had no doubt in their own success, wouldn’t be considered as successful if your accomplishments were not accepted by the society. There were cases that talented but frustrated people railed at the world for its neglect of his genius.9 E! @+ A( F7 Z

In addition, regardless of different social roles, the recognition of your strengths by other people makes a prodigious contribution to your success. For example, as a student in university, the opportunity of participation in a research project is provided by an appreciative professor while, similarly, the promotion of an employee demands a certification from the supervisor. All these occasions serves as stepping-stones on the pursuit of success. On contrary, impossible is an access to success without any appreciation from others. Generally speaking, one’s success cannot be achieved alone and other’s supports result from their recognitions. So, one could gain rare supports, thus less chances to be successful, with others’ ignorance.

Undeniably, in some extreme example, some celebrity could attain their success in some particular field like philosophy without any help of other’s cognition. Nevertheless, the fact that people are familiar with their achievement lends the credibility to the underlying signification of being recognized.

写得挺不错的。用了很多高级词汇。

melodyfeelingsUID：2855338

9月7日交
2009.8.7 NA  是否同意 parents help determined the future of their children or children allow to make their own choices.

A number of people, holding the opinion that parents help determined the future of their children, claim that parents have much more life experience than their children do, so that they could be more provident to make better future plans for their children. I concede this view. Nevertheless, from my perspective, children ought to be allowed to make decisions by their own, considering that in this way young people can have more chances to choose a career they are interested in as well as to develop their sense of self-perception and decision-making skills.
Initially, it is more beneficial for children to start a career that they like. The well-known creed that interest is the best teacher indicates that by working in field which one is interested in, one would like to be more devoted, working harder and coming up with more creative ideas, so that this can make way for an access to success. However, elders like parents have difficulties in figuring out what the children like, due to the inevitable generation gap between them. What’s more, parents seem to be so fond of utilitarianism that they easily neglect the significance of interest. Instead, they view their children’s future in a more sophisticated way, considering whether the job is well paid or whether the career can bring about a high social status, which settles an obstacle for their children to achieve their own dreams.
An additional factor lending more credibility to my point is that by making plans for oneself, one can cultivate the sense of self-perception, which is crucial for their further development in society in the future. On contrary, if the children were deprived of their freedom of making a choice even for their own since a young age, the assertion that their ideas are worthless, for they have nothing to do with the final decision, may gradually form in their minds. This assertion may negatively influence their sense of self-perception, contributing to the negative emotions of depression, disappointment and even degradation, which do harm to their growing.
Admittedly, the possession of sufficient experience adds more possibility to a wise decision. It is never favorable for a child to make plans rashly without taking counsels from the elders. However, we gain memorable experience from making an unsuccessful decision made by our own. If children were allowed to make own decisions, they would gradually harvest the ability of decision-making, which serves as a stepping-stone for a more independent and brilliant future.

尝试地改一下风格… 多用点小词~

cqx83UID：2671579

7# melodyfeelings

写的相当牛了,词汇好多都不认得...不知道是lz是词汇达人，还是故意追求高级词汇的。。

melodyfeelingsUID：2855338

10# cqx83
说实话  7L这个是在憋词汇&结构的前提下写的…词倒是知道 但属于阅读词汇而非写作词汇…
想的时间太长了。。规定时间写出肯定是不可能的。。。个人觉得没什么意义…
还是比较欣赏楼主的文。。

melodyfeelingsUID：2855338

9月18日交
08.12.05NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life

‘I love sports!’ This is common statement claimed in a self-introduction. More or less, we treat sports as an essential part of life – for some athletes as a profession while for the other people as a hobby or entertainment. Some, holding the view that sports are dispensable for non-professional people, believe that sports are just individual inclinations, which has nothing to do with the true meaning of life. However, I concede this opinion. Whichever roles sports play in one’s life, from my perspective, they contribute a lot to our interpretation about life, which is competition in demand of long-term perseverance, group cooperation.
Primarily speaking, sports fascinate human beings for the delight that it brings, and more importantly, for the spirit that affects us. “Faster, Higher, Stronger!”, which means to challenge the  impossibility and to reveal our potentials, is the motto that Olympics has supplanted in our minds since hundreds of years ago. The faith, no limits of promotion, is a strong driving force for the progress of human civilization and a spiritual support for individuals to never give up in pursuit of a better life. Witnessing the trailing players sparing no efforts fighting over the ball at the last seconds of a basketball match, or experiencing the exhaustion physically but determination spiritually during a long-distance running, makes an addition to our perseverance and courage and teaches us to confront the obstacles in daily life with braveness and calmness.
Lending more credibility to my view, competition sports have similarity with our life in the society in several aspects, where good performance in sports qualifies one to attain success in social life. Living in a society or taking part in competition sports, we inevitably obey the regulations. Therefore, the mastery of how to make full use of our abilities to attain success under prescription is vital for both sports and life. Besides, in team competition, whether you have the capacity to keep both cooperative and, meanwhile, aggressive determines the accomplishment of one group. The well-known law of NBA --‘it takes five people’ -- demonstrated in an advertisement, exemplified my point of view well. With all the members cooperating well with each other, showing enough reverence and gratitude to others, one team can achieve effectively what cannot be attained individually. Thus, learning these skills in group competition is beneficial for dealing well with colleagues or partners and, more importantly, it teaches us to cherish and respect every person in our life.
To conclude, sports play an essential part of life indeed, and contribute to our perception of life.

melodyfeelingsUID：2855338

9月22日交

09.05.30NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

Nowadays, youth education has become a widely-concerned topic. Some, holding the view that the students in primary school should only learn several fundamental subjects like math, science, history and language, claim that younger students should have less study burden in order to make their childhood more relaxed. Nevertheless, I conceded this opinion. Children, from my perspective, have the necessity to take courses of art and music additionally, considering the fact that it could make a contribution to the cultivation of their aesthetic sense and the exploration of their potential talent.
Primarily, it is universally acknowledged that art and music are the crystallization of human wisdom and experience, which embody the liberty of thoughts, the culture of human beings and the value of life. Therefore, students, especially younger students in primary school, ought to have an access to art and music and through the education, they can attain a more comprehensive perception of art and music, which contributes to cultivation of connoisseurship. Moreover, it is a common sense that, with the better appreciation of art and music, one possesses a stronger sense of recognition of the beauty of life, thereby cherishing their life better.
Lending more credibility to my point of view, it is a provident decision for children to have comprehensive venture in a variety of areas to find out what they may have potentials for. According to some authoritative researches, how children behave in early-year education can be a significant revelation to their future career. In art or music classes, the intrinsic talent of students can be unearthed with high probability, by which they attain a broaden eyesight when choosing their career. On contrary, many people, who are actually talented in art or music, fail to continue their art or music dreams and give in to ordinary social work unfortunately due to the lack of relevant education when they are young.
Admittedly, too much study burden at a young age, which inevitably crowded out playing time, would possibly ruin one’s childhood and the reality is that more and more parents are busy arranging their children to attend a lot of courses, expecting them to grow into a versatile mixture of Einstein and Van Gogh. But if parents and schools have an access to arouse children’s interest on art or music, which is a simple task in most cases, the young will enjoy their learning as a delight, or, moreover, study the other subjects efficiently. Anyway, in conclusion, the additional education of art and music for younger students is necessary for a promising future.

norraUID：2782571

9月22日交( o& g: n# B1 i3 Y$ Y3 O

5 b, P& }+ A4 ~- Y: R9 V09.05.30NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.( T# o# w/ [" Z9 ^
# i! @4 O3 {+ I& v; ~8 E6 L. H

Nowadays, youth education has become a widely-concerned topic. Some, ( those who ) holding the view that the students in primary school should only learn several fundamental subjects like math, science, history and language, claim that younger students should have less study burden in order to make their childhood more relaxed. Nevertheless, I conceded this opinion. Children, from my perspective, have the necessity to take courses of art and music additionally, considering the fact that it could make a contribution to the cultivation of their aesthetic sense(这个短语不常见，如果没查词典就能写，那很厉害了) and the exploration of their potential talent.


/ x. x% p- m  m, S' MPrimarily, it is universally acknowledged that art and music are the crystallization of human wisdom and experience, which embody the liberty of thoughts, the culture of human beings and the value of life.（词用得深，但是有中文思维的迹象） Therefore, students, especially younger students in primary school, ought to have an access to art and music and through the education, they can attain a more comprehensive perception of art and music, which contributes to cultivation of connoisseurship. Moreover, it is a common sense that, with the better appreciation of art and music, one possesses a stronger sense of recognition of the beauty of life, thereby cherishing their life better.0 z" C5 W9 O1 W- j  _' k


Lending more credibility to my point of view, （这句话倒很新鲜）it is a provident decision for children to have comprehensive venture in a variety of areas to find out what they may have potentials for. According to some authoritative researches, how children behave in early-year education can be a significant revelation to their future career. In art or music classes, the intrinsic talent of students can be unearthed with high probability, by which they attain a broaden eyesight when choosing their career. On （这里要加个the）contrary, many people, who are actually talented in art or music, fail to continue their art or music dreams and give in to ordinary social work unfortunately due to the lack of relevant education when they are young.% s$ v: r0 W. b# Z


Admittedly, too much study burden at a young age, which inevitably crowded out playing time, would possibly ruin one’s childhood and the reality is that more and more parents are busy arranging their children to attend a lot of courses, expecting them to grow into a versatile mixture of Einstein and Van Gogh. But if parents and schools have an access to arouse children’s interest on art or music, which is a simple task in most cases, the young will enjoy their learning as a delight, or, moreover, study the other subjects efficiently. Anyway, in conclusion, the additional education of art and music for younger students is necessary for a promising future.

  
   总体感觉用词古奥，但是层次不太清晰。


13# melodyfeelings

melodyfeelingsUID：2855338

9月25日交
09.01.17 NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.
Nowadays, the eating condition has become an increasingly concerned issue in the modern society, since some unhealthy eating habits, which are detrimental for individual lives, appear to be more and more prevalent. Some, holding the view that ads have been of great importance of resulting in unhealthy eating habits, believe that ads mislead the consumers by instilling the admiration of food products, which are actually all but nutritious. Nevertheless, I doubt that this opinion is too subjective and one-sided. Unhealthy eating habits, from my perspective, result from many aspects of one’s own life styles, affected mainly by the individual living and working condition, with which advertisements have irrelevant responsibility.
Primarily speaking, advertisement, which serves as a commercial means of propaganda for products, should be identified as a double-edged sword. Generally speaking, advertisements provide the consumers useful information about their target products, apart from some inevitable and understandable exaggerations, which can be recognized by the majority of consumers. Even though these exaggerations of the benefits of food products in the advertisements have the possibility to act as the stimulus for some unsuccessful trials, they, obviously, don’t have the strength determining the formation of an unhealthy eating habit or style. People make decisions by themselves on what they eat – the coach potatoes indulge themselves in palatable junk food with empty calories every night in front of TV, even if there were advertisements as well as their friends warning them of the weight they would gain. So it should be one’s ability of self-control that counts.
Lending more credibility to the statement above, the increasingly high pace of modern life should take more responsibilities on people’s unhealthy lifestyles, rather than the advertisements. Some, who are engaged in work for 12 hours a day, have insufficient off-work time. Under this work condition, the only choice for them is some fast food with no nutritional value but convenience, instead of a proper lunch. Besides, the unhealthy habit of unrestrained eating is derived from the high pressure in work, since people treat eating as a sort of relief of their stress and anxiety.
Admittedly, sometimes advertisements are so misleading that consumers trust them without right judgments, which, more or less, adds to the possibility of an unhealthy eating habits. But, in conclusion, it is improper to blame ads as the most important factors of unhealthy eating styles, regardless of the benefits that the advertisement brings and the pressure that high-pace modern life creates.