第五希云捷的独立写作贴

第五希云捷UID: 2457467

No.97 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries.
否定：
１）提高收入确实能够一定程度地提升教学质量
２）无法衡量学生到底学到了多少？与学生素质相关
３）会出现老师迎合学生而非引导学生，不好。


It is widely believed that the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers’ salaries, because it would make teachers more interested in and concentrated on educating students. Perhaps high salary will improve quality of education to some extent, but I do not think it is the best way to improve the quality of education.

Admittedly, high salary for teacher will bring some improvement in the quality of education because it will not only stimulate current teachers to work even harder but also attract more and more high-quality people to engage in teaching profession. Moreover, it will also bring more competitions in teaching career, pushing teachers to concentrate on the quality of their teaching in order to keep their jobs. No doubt, increasing teacher’s salaries would improve the quality of education.

Although teacher’s salary plays an important role in quality of education, there are other factors that overcome the role of teacher’s salary. One overwhelming factor is the interests of students. The best way to evaluate the quality of education is how much students learn from their teachers. Improving teachers’ salaries will increase teachers’ enthusiasm while do little to increase students’ learning interests. That is to say, in order to improve the quality of education, the first thing we should do is to try to attract students, making them more interested in learning to obtain more knowledge. Without students’ interests in studying, improving teacher’s salaries will do little to improve the quality of education.

Another reason for my disagreement is that improving teachers’ salaries will bring some harm to the quality of education because in order to obtain high salaries, some teachers may tend to pander to students instead of guiding them to learn in a correct way. If so, it will disobey the disciplines of education and eventually cause serious problems to education.

In my opinion, the best way to improve the quality of education is not to improve teachers’ salaries. Although it will bring some improvements to education quality, when considering other more important factors and also its harm we can simple come to the conclusion that it is not the best way indeed.

凼凼55667UID: 2904147

It is widely believed that the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers’ salaries, because it would make teachers more interested in and concentrated on educating students. Perhaps high salary will improve quality of education to some extent, but I do not think it is the best way to improve the quality of education.

Admittedly, high salary for teacher will bring some improvement in the quality of education because it will not only stimulate current teachers to work even harder but also attract more and more high-quality people to engage in teaching profession. Moreover, it will also bring more competitions in teaching career, pushing teachers to concentrate on the quality of their teaching in order to keep their jobs. No doubt, increasing teacher’s salaries would improve the quality of education.

Although teacher’s salary plays an important role in quality of education, there are other factors that overcome（overcome后面一般加表示困难、障碍等词） the role of teacher’s salary. One overwhelming factor is the interests of students. The best way to evaluate the quality of education is how much students learn from their teachers. Improving teachers’ salaries will increase teachers’ enthusiasm while do little to increase students’ learning interests. That is to say, in order to improve the quality of education, the first thing we should do is to try to attract students, making them more interested in learning to obtain more knowledge. Without students’ interests in studying, improving teacher’s salaries will do little to improve the quality of education.

Another reason for my disagreement is that improving teachers’ salaries will bring some harm to the quality of education because in order to obtain high salaries, some teachers may tend to pander to students instead of guiding them to learn in a correct way. If so, it will disobey the disciplines of education and eventually cause serious problems to education.

In my opinion, the best way to improve the quality of education is not to improve teachers’ salaries. Although it will bring some improvements to education quality, when considering other more important factors and also its harm we can simple come to the conclusion that it is not the best way indeed
亮点：文章表述清晰，逻辑严密，是一篇优秀作文。
不足：1，第二段对题目观点正面阐述得太充足，减轻了反驳力度。
      2，第三段反驳时时，没写出与interest of students与 improve salary 的联系，反驳的针对性不是很强。建议把第四段和第三段内容交换一下。

第五希云捷UID: 2457467

09 25 writting
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.
思路：
1）        首先承认广告对不良饮食习惯有重要作用
2）        但越来越快的生活节奏影响更大
3）        但技术的发展影响更大
It is widely believed that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits, because it is through advertisements that people get to know various kinds of junk foods, bringing unhealthy eating habits. Perhaps advertising does contribute to the formation of unhealthy eating habits; it is ridiculous to declare that it is the most important cause.

Admittedly, with the help of advertisements, people get more chances to get to know hundreds of kinds of junk foods with relatively delicious taste and relatively low price and time consuming. People are happy to find a way to have those delicious foods without spending a lot of time to prepare for them. As a result, an expanding number of people fall in love with eating junk foods, an unhealthy eating habit. From this view of point, advertising is a major cause of unhealthy eating habits.

Although advertising plays an important role in causing unhealthy eating habits, there are other factors that are even more important than advertising. The faster and faster working pace is one of those more important causes. In modern society, working pace becomes faster than ever before, leaving people with less time to prepare dinner. In order to keep pace with the work, people have to look for help from fast foods, most of which are junk food, leading an unhealthy eating habit. The fast working pace also leave people less time to chew their meals, pushing them to eat as quickly as possible to finish their jobs in time. Without doubt, the faster and faster working pace is an overwhelming cause that is more important in the cause of unhealthy eating habits than advertising.

To continue with, another more important cause involves the development of technology, including television and internet. It is common nowadays that people tend to spend less time eating at table while to spend more time in front of television to watch the favorite performances. With the development of internet, there have been more and more children who have spent dinner time in front of computer to surf the internet while eating. The development of technology brings about a series of even more serious unhealthy eating habits than that brought about by advertisements.

Summarizing the points above, advertising actually contributes much to the formation of unhealthy eating habits considering the population of junk foods. However, when considering the contributions of the faster and faster working pace and development of technology, we can simply draw the conclusion that advertising is not the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

zcnvszwjUID: 2815734

It is widely believed that the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers’ salaries, because it would make teachers more interested in and concentrated on educating students. Perhaps high salary will improve quality of education to some extent, but I do not think it is the best way to improve the quality of education.
Admittedly, high salary for teacher will bring some improvement in the quality of education because it will not only stimulate current teachers to work even harder but also attract more and more high-quality people to engage in teaching profession. Moreover, it will also bring more competitions in teaching career, pushing teachers to concentrate on the quality of their teaching in order to keep their jobs. No doubt, increasing teacher’s salaries would improve the quality of education.
Although teacher’s salary plays an important role in quality of education, there are other factors that overcome the role of teacher’s salary. One overwhelming factor is the interests of students. The best way to evaluate the quality of education is how much students learn from their teachers. Improving teachers’ salaries will increase teachers’ enthusiasm while do little to increase students’ learning interests. That is to say, in order to improve the quality of education, the first thing we should do is to try to attract students, making them more interested in learning to obtain more knowledge. Without students’ interests in studying, improving teacher’s salaries will do little to improve the quality of education.
Another reason for my disagreement is that improving teachers’ salaries will bring some harm to the quality of education because in order to obtain high salaries, some teachers may tend to pander to students instead of guiding them to learn in a correct way. If so, it will disobey the disciplines of education and eventually cause serious problems to education.
In my opinion, the best way to improve the quality of education is not to improve teachers’ salaries. Although it will bring some improvements to education quality, when considering other more important factors and also its harm we can simple come to the conclusion that it is not the best way indeed.
1、        这篇文章值得学习；
2、        首段句式结构有点大众化了，最好自己独创一个模板；
3、        全文无什么具体的实例，这其实是不推荐的，因为美国老师的智商原因，有理论又有实例的会更占优势；
4、        严谨程度超出想象，再赞一个。。。

zcnvszwjUID: 2815734

09 25 writing
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.
It is widely believed that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits, because it is through advertisements that people get to know various kinds of junk foods, bringing unhealthy eating habits. Perhaps advertising does contribute to the formation of unhealthy eating habits; it is ridiculous to declare that it is the most important cause.
Admittedly, with the help of advertisements, people get more chance to get to know hundreds of kinds of junk foods with relatively delicious taste and relatively low price and time consuming. People are happy to find a way to have those delicious foods without spending a lot of time to prepare for them. As a result, an expanding number of people fall in love with eating junk foods, an unhealthy eating habit. From this view of point, advertising is a major cause of unhealthy eating habits.%
Although advertising plays an important role in causing unhealthy eating habits, there are other factors that are even more important than advertising. The faster and faster working pace is one of those more important causes. In modern society, working pace becomes faster than ever before, leaving people with less time to prepare dinner. In order to keep pace with the work, people have to look for help from fast foods, most of which are junk food, leading an unhealthy eating habit. The fast working pace also leave people less time to chew their meals, pushing them to eat as quickly as possible to finish their jobs in time. Without doubt, the faster and faster working pace is an overwhelming cause that is more important in the cause of unhealthy eating habits than advertising.
To continue with, another more important cause involves the development of technology, including television and internet. It is common nowadays that people tend to spend less time eating at table while to spend more time in front of television to watch the favorite performances. With the development of internet, there have been more and more children who have spent dinner time in front of computer to surf the internet while eating. The development of technology brings about a series of even more serious unhealthy eating habits than that brought about by advertisements.
Summarizing the points above, advertising actually contributes much to the formation of unhealthy eating habits considering the population of junk foods. However, when considering the contributions of the faster and faster working pace and development of technology, we can simply draw the conclusion that advertising is not the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.
1、        部分词语、短语同一段中重复太多，如people（完全可以用consumers 等词进行替换）和“比较级and比较级”；
2、        具体的实例还是比较少，推荐添加，如说精彩电视节目的时候可以说“沉迷在最新的《六人行》里”；
3、        发现了我自己作文的影子，呵呵；
4、        学校断网，今日始恢复，还请见谅。

第五希云捷UID: 2457467

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All university students should take basic science courses, regardless of their field of concentration.

同意这样的观点
原因1：使生活更有趣
        2：解决一些生活基本问题
        3：能更好的找到工作

It has been discussed for a long time that whether it is necessary for university students to take some basic science courses no matter what majors they are in. Although many people argue that taking science courses may add extra burden on students, I am strongly agree with the declaration that all students should take some science courses.

The first reason for my agreement lies in that by attending basic science courses, university students can get some knowledge about science in life, making them live funnier lives. For example, through taking geography classes, students could figure out why conifers forests lie in the north of America while broad-leaved forests locates in the southern parts of America. They may also be able to understand the reason for the formation of rainbow from a physics class, making them be able to appreciate the beauty of rainbow immediately after the rain. In a word, considering that basic science course bring students a more interesting life, it is necessary.

To continue with, the knowledge students obtain from basic science courses could help students to solve some problems in their lives. Students attending science courses are more possible to figure out why the lamp in the bedroom is out. Moreover, students attending some science courses talking about the weather are able to judge the changes of the weather through the variations of the clouds. It is highly possible that through basic knowledge we get from physics classes, we could do some repair to our television. Without doubt, basic science courses would help us live better.

Furthermore, taking some basic science courses would help university students get better jobs. With science knowledge we get from class, we can learn more than other competitors, giving us more advantages in the competition of jobs. In work days, we are possible to solve minor problems we face, such as some repair we need to do, giving us more chances to be promoted. Thus, some basic science courses are necessary indeed.

Summarizing points above, it can be easily drawn that basic science courses are necessary for university students, considering that it will make lives funnier, help solve some minor problems and help students get better jobs.

第五希云捷UID: 2457467

9.30
2008.10.17NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People benefit more from travelling in their own country than travelling in a foreign country.


观点：
        同意这个论点。
        首先，在国内旅游会有很多收获
        但是，在外国旅游可以知道更多的文化差异，这会使我们收益更多
但是，在国外旅行可以让我们学习到更多的先进技术，收益更多


Nowadays, it is frequently discussed that which way we can benefit more, from travelling domestically or from travelling abroad. Admittedly, we can learn a lot from travelling in our own country, including history and beauty of landscapes. However, compared with the knowledge we could obtain by travelling abroad, it can be easily concluded that we can benefit far more by travelling in a foreign country than travelling domestically.

In the first place, travelling in our own country will give us a lot of benefits. Through visiting the Summer Palace of China, we can learn the history of Qing dynasty, getting the information of its development and demise. Another thing we can get is the beauty of the art created by the ancient Chinese, by appreciating the wonderful gardens, bridges with all kinds of sculptures and the dreamy palaces. In a word, we can definitely learn a lot of things that we can not obtained if we just stay in campus by travelling all around our own country.

However, by comparing the benefits we get from domestic travelling with that we get from travelling abroad, we can easily find that we can benefit far more by travelling in another country. The first reason is that we can learn how to communicate with people of different cultures, which we can not get in our own country and will give us advantages in our future developments. For example, by travelling in a European country, we can figure out the differences between the cultures of China and Europe. We can learn how to get along well with a European guy, knowing that what he likes to talk about and what is forbidden when communicating with him. The ability of communicating with people with different cultures will make us more competitive when we are looking for jobs.

Furthermore, we can learn a lot of advanced science theory and techniques by travelling in a developed country. Since the science and technique level in China is relatively low compared with developed countries, especially United States, it is necessary for Chinese students to travel in developed countries to learn advanced science theory and techniques to improve the science level of China and also the living conditions of ordinary Chinese people. Travelling in our own country absolutely gives us no chance to aware of the advanced science theories and techniques of developed countries, which is especially important for the development of China. In a word, considering the benefits of getting advanced science theories and techniques, travelling abroad obviously benefits us more.

芒果yayaUID: 2759930

9月30号：
写得挺好的 我都没什么说的了
每一论点都有足够的例子 链接的可以
就是第三点 学习科技 我觉得旅游 不能算是学习科技 顶多是体验一下， 不过文章中的aware 用的好 弥补了一点

第五希云捷UID: 2457467

10.02
Do you agree or disagree with following statement? Spending time alone is the best way to relieve stress.
        折衷的方法
        不同的人有不同的看法
        对于年纪大的人而言,spending time alone 是最好的办法来减缓压力
        对于年纪轻的人, Spending time with friends 是最好的减压办法


When we talk about the best way to relieve stress, some people believe that staying alone is the best since they can read books or watching television alone to forget all kinds of worries. Other people declare that by spending time with friends and family members, they can easily forget about the stress talking with friends or parents freely. In my view of points, for elder people, it is best for them to spend time alone to relieve stress, while for those young, it is proper for them to relieve stress through having time with friends or family.

On the one hand, the best way for elder people to relieve stress is to spend time alone, watching television or reading books. The first reason for my opinion lies in that most of their troubles are not suitable to share with friends and family members. Moreover, what they need is a individual space to think peacefully, to forget about their stress they have got from work, from family and from business. Spending time reading alone, in a sense, will give a suitable opportunity to forget about what they have to face in reality. Similarly, watching television alone will let them enjoy the scene of television plays, without thinking about those troubles. With enough time spending alone, elder people would be able to calm down.

On the other hand, however, compared with elder people, the best way for young people to relieve stress is to spend time with others talking and complaining, instead of reading or watching television alone. Different from the individual space elder people need to calm down, what young people need to relieve stress is an opportunity to talk and complain with other people. Spending time with friends, particularly with those having similar experiences, young people could get the advices and comforts from friends. Once they have vented their discontents and complaints, they would get well sooner. In a word, by spending time with friends talking and complaining, young people would relieve stress effectively.

Furthermore, spending time with family members, especially with parents, is also effective for young people to relieve stress. A lot of young people believe that they get unfair treatment in their work and are discontented with that while they have no chance to express those discontents when they are working. Spending time alone will do nothing to smooth their heart for they get no comforts to remove those stresses. Spending time with parents, however, will help them great by listening to the advices of parents. By talking with parents about those troubles they face in work, parents will give some better advices and the necessity of keeping a good mood.

Summarizing points above, we can draw the conclusion that for elder people, the best way for them to relieve stress is to spend time alone, reading books and watching television to get enough time to calm down. While for those young people, the best way for them to calm down is to spend time with friends and parents, complaining about their troubles and listening the advices.

S酱UID: 2883188

已改内详～期待回改～1002  56楼

第五希云捷UID: 2457467

10。05
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.
思路:
        1)广告对不良饮食习惯有重要作用
        2)越来越快的生活节奏影响更加重大
        3)技术的进步也带来了不良的影响


When we talk about the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits, many people would agree that advertising contributes most for it bring a lot of junk foods to people’s lives. Perhaps advertising does bring about a lot of unhealthy habits to people’s lives, for me, however, it is ridiculous to declare that it is the most important cause considering the effects of fast working pace and advance of technology.

On the one hand, advertising is an important cause of unhealthy eating habits because it help get more chances to know various kinds of junk foods with relatively delicious tastes and low nutrients in them. It is a common epitome that a child does not want to eat anything at dinner because he has enjoyed a McDonald’s hamburger shown in the television advertisements before dinner time. This, of course, would do harm to the physical growth of a child, becoming a bad eating habit brought by advertisements. From this view of point, advertising is an important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

On the other hand, there are other causes that play even more important roles in the formation of unhealthy eating habits. One overwhelming cause, for instance, is the faster and faster working pace. Nowadays, people have to get up earlier in the morning to catch up with the early bus in order to be on time while go home later in the evening to finish jobs than ever before. In other words, people now have less time to prepare meals, making them choose fast foods, most of which are junk foods. High pressure, coming along with the faster working pace, limit the time people have the meals, forcing them to eat as fast as possible. Without doubt, the faster working pace is a more important cause of the formation of unhealthy eating habits than advertising.

To continue with, technology advance, when bringing people a lot of convenient in daily lives, is another more important cause of unhealthy eating habits than advertising. For example, there are a growing number of people spending less time to have dinner at the table while choosing to eat in front of the television to watch their favorite movies because the technology advance brings television to everyone’s house. Moreover, with the development of internet, an expanding number of children prefer to eat while surfing the internet. Shortly speaking, the development of technology also contributes more to the formation of unhealthy eating habits than advertising does.

Summarizing the points above, it cannot be denied that advertising actually contributes much to unhealthy eating habits, considering its effects in the prevailing of junk foods. However, when we analyze the contributions of the faster working pace and technology advance, we can simply conclude that advertising is not the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

suret.leeUID: 2860252

尽快改一下我的吧，谢啦

S酱UID: 2883188

13# suret.lee
lz最近可能比较忙～咱也在排队等候回改中

第五希云捷UID: 2457467

1007
09.03.21NA    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To remain happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success

There is a hit discussion that conerning that whether keeping happy and optimistic when fails weighs more than achieving success. Many people believe that maintaining happy and optimistic is more important, arguing that keeping progressive when fails will give us lots of experiences attributing to future success. Notwithstanding, contrary to the opinion of many people is my heartful agreement with the idea that obtaining success is of greater importance.

Admittedly, there is no way around the fact that being happy and optimistic when we fail is essential taking into account the fact that we can get experiences from our failures and try to get success in future. History is filled with the examples of people who struggle for success, never lose heart and finally achieve success. Thomas Edison, for example, had failed hundreds of time before he invented lump. Abraham Lincoln, former president of United States, is another example telling us that we should keep happyness and optimise in our heart no matter how many times of failure we have experienced. Shortly speaking, keeping happy and optimistic is of great significance.

Considerable though the importances of remaining happy and optimistic when we fail is, they cannot compete with the significances that achieving success. The first drawback of presenting a happy and optimistic attitude lies in that it may make people less progressive. When someone keep the minds in heart that achieving success is not or less important, what he is likely to do is to work less harder rather than to try his best to achieve success. With this kind of thinking in mind, hardly could we deny that it would do harm to people’s future development on account of the fact people would pay less attention to work since they consider success less important. When we discover the drawbacks of keeping happy and optimistic when we fail, can’t we agree with the opinion that achieving success is more important?

Furthermore, the idea that weighs the happy and optimistic mood more will do harm to the whold development of our society. Satisfied with the experiences from failures, scientists may not try to learn something important from those unsuccessful experiements, because they think remaining happy and optimistic is more important. Without the efforts of scientists trying to explore the unknown world, it is highly possible that our lives are less comfortable since a lot of inventions such as television and interenet would never appear at all. Similarly, without the unyielding pursuing for success, never will Bill Gates be able to set up Microsoft successful. It would be not be too exaggeration to say that achieving success is more important.

In conclusion, I admit that maintaining happy and optimistic mood is of great significance because it will prevent us from depression. However, by presenting the drawbacks of weighing the iead of keeping happy and optimistic to much, we can easily draw the conclusion that achieving is of greater importance.