Issue17,nofeelings,8,酒香

nofeelings811UID: 2388638

17"There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."

May be you would argue that there is another type of laws between just and unjust, but the journey of human have told you not, for the laws have something to do with the morality, having two sides as laws. What we should do depends. At the first glance, disobeying is more glory and important, but obeying do more things for the human.

The classification of laws is correct. After long evolution, all of the sudden, human being pushed themselves over the threshold of innocence, sparsely knew what they should do and what they should not do, which is basically the virtue. Then after long journey to the modern society, something was forced to do, and something was forbidden to do. The force is laws, collectively organizing the people’s rights. The laws may be not correct, since the force may be abused sometimes. The government put the separation of white and black into the bill. Until 1960’s, discrimination of races has been forbidden by the law. Not only we can see the injustice of laws, but also we can the trace of laws if toward a good direction. From monkey to human, we became not just beautiful, but also reasonable. The force separates the virtue, which not force people to do something, and laws. And the truth divides the just laws, which contain right things, and unjust laws.

What we should do advised by the author is reasonable. Spare not only the force that is abused, but also the virtue which is misunderstood. This is to say, we should know the responsibility to do the right thing, obeying the law, in the same time, ignore the unjust laws, disobeying them. Yolanda was a black girl in Maryland. With the equal right, she could go to the school, which was consisted with white, near her house. But she could not, because local government forbade black child and white child study together. The school of black people was so far away. So, her family and other black families made the parades. After a long time, black people’s rights were almost got back, many unjust laws were mended, at the same time, just laws were founded. That’s the result of disobeying and resisting in a peaceful way. Looking back on the hard time of black people, comparing it with nowadays, we will know how it is important to fight against the irrational laws. We know we should choose the truth to do the right things, disobeying the wrong things.

However, obeying is more important than disobeying. If there is no law, we can do anything without persecuted, verse visa, we may hurt without protection. So there must be the laws to be obeyed. What’s more, it is the foundation of social order. (For example: Government asks people to drive on the right side of the road) Without law, there are no freedoms and no orders, since the things we do will be hindered by evil things all around; we may do the evil without control; we are not going to do the things efficiently. This is to say, no control, no freedom and no logic. Without freedom and logic, individual’s existence is meaningless. In our lifetime, time of obeying is far more than the time of disobeying and resisting, which almost fill in our time of breath and sleep.
Besides, it makes our normal life go peacefully and robustly. So, the obeying is more important. On the other side, obeying makes the society steadier. The steady society somehow can make the people mine their nature and talent more completely. So, obeying is more effective for the society and individuals.


We should understand the law and do the right thing.

harry1oo1oo1UID: 2683605

May be you would argue that there is another type of laws between just and unjust, but the journey of human have told you not, for the laws have something to do with the morality, having two sides as laws. What we should do depends. At the first glance, disobeying is more glory and important, but obeying do more things for the human.

The classification of laws is correct. (这句话和后面的the truth divides the just laws有点脱节) After long evolution, all of the sudden, human beings pushed themselves over the threshold of innocence, sparsely knew what they should do and what they should not do, which is basically the virtue. Then after long journey to the modern society, something was forced to do, and something was forbidden to do. The force is laws, collectively organizing the people’s rights. The laws may be not correct, since the force may be abused sometimes. The government put the separation of white and black into the bill. Until 1960’s, discrimination of races has been forbidden by the law. Not only we can see the injustice of laws, but also we can the trace of laws if toward a good direction. (这个例子的目的应该是佐证Law有just与unjust之分的，但是读起来像是在证明Law是在不断地修正去适应不同的形势) From monkey to human, we became not just beautiful, but also reasonable. The force separates the virtue, which not force people to do something, and (separate…from…) laws. And the truth divides the just laws, which contain right things, and unjust laws. (应该进一步讨论为什么truth divides the laws，直接说这句话有些唐突，觉得这段的重点是分析the classification，而且要说下truth是怎么定义的)

What we should do advised by the author is reasonable. Spare not only the force that is abused, but also the virtue which is misunderstood. This is to say, we should know the responsibility to do the right thing, obeying the law, in the same time, ignore the unjust laws, disobeying them. Yolanda was a black girl in Maryland. With the equal right, she could go(could have gone) to the school, which was consisted with (consist with是古体用法，不建议用) white, near her house. But she could not, because local government forbade black child and white child study together. The school of (for) black people was so far away. So, her family and other black families made the parades. After a long time, black people’s rights were almost got back, many unjust laws were mended, at the same time, just laws were founded. That’s the result of disobeying and resisting in a peaceful way. Looking back on the hard time of black people, comparing it with nowadays, we will know how it is important to fight against the irrational laws. We know we should choose the truth to do the right things, disobeying the wrong things.

However, obeying is more important than disobeying. If there is no law, we can do anything without persecuted, verse visa, we may (get) hurt without protection. So there must be the laws to be obeyed. What’s more,(这两层之间递进关系很弱，do evil与do anything without persecuted都是没有法律约束的结果) it is the foundation of social order. (For example: Government asks people to drive on the right side of the road) Without law, there are no freedoms and no orders, since the things we do will be hindered by evil things all around; we may do the evil without control; we are not going to do the things efficiently. This is to say, no control, no freedom and no logic. Without freedom and logic, individual’s existence is meaningless. In our lifetime, time of obeying is far more than the time of disobeying and resisting, which almost fill in our time of breath and sleep.

Besides, it makes our normal life go peacefully and robustly. So, the obeying is more important. On the other side, obeying makes the society steadier. The steady society somehow can make the people mine their nature and talent more completely. So, obeying is more effective for the society and individuals. We should understand the law and do the right thing.


小结:文章的思路是classification of law—>sometimes disobey—>obey is more important,比较清晰，但是结尾应该再强化下自己的观点，do the right thing 有些模糊

个人意见，仅供参考
加油！

hugeseaUID: 190158

17"There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."

May be you would argue that there is another type of laws between just and unjust, but the journey of human have told you not, for the laws have something to do with the morality, having two sides as laws. What we should do depends. At the first glance, disobeying is more glory and important, but obeying do more things for the human.

The classification of laws is correct. After long evolution, all of the sudden, human being pushed themselves over the threshold of innocence, sparsely knew what they should do and what they should not do, which is basically the virtue. Then after long journey to the modern society, something was forced to do, and something was forbidden to do. The force is laws, collectively organizing the people’s rights. The laws may be not correct, since the force may be abused sometimes. The government put the separation of white and black into the bill. Until 1960’s, discrimination of races has been forbidden by the law. Not only we can see the injustice of laws, but also we can the trace of laws if toward a good direction. From monkey to human, we became not just beautiful, but also reasonable. The force separates the virtue, which not force people to do something, and laws. And the truth divides the just laws, which contain right things, and unjust laws.

nofeelings811 发表于 2010-11-27 21:54

读了两段，嗯，感觉不是太好读，主要是因为断句吧，逗号断句太多了，实在不行，用简单句吧。

再说说你的body 1段吧，你的逻辑是 同意speaker的分类，法分两类just & unjust，然后证明法为什么会分为两类。这个想法当然不错，但是事实上你选了一条难的论证的路去走。法为什么分为just &unjust是个很难论述的问题，很难由简单的几句话讲清楚。你的论述也正好说明了这个问题，嗯，我实在是读不懂你的论述。

其实你可以选择一条简单点的路去论述的，这就是：法分两类just & unjust。然后just law 是什么样的law，举例；接着说unjust law是什么样的law， 举例。


另外，说说你论证中的问题
1。Then after long journey to the modern society, something was forced to do, and something was forbidden to do. The force is laws, collectively organizing the people’s rights.

The force 并不仅仅是 laws，而且还有moral codes.

2.The laws may be not correct, since the force may be abused sometimes.

法并不是correct或者uncorrect的，只能说just or unjust的。

还有你这句说的意思是：法律可能会是不正义的，是因为法律有时可能会被滥用。我的天，这是什么理由？

all in all，写的很差！努力吧，时间长的话，多看看书