issue104 欢迎拍砖,谢谢!

GREVivianGREUID: 2103783

不限时写作i104,欢迎拍砖,谢谢!

104.It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.

The speaker asserts that a culture perpetuating the ideas it favors while discrediting those it fears primarily through formal education. I partly agree with his opinion that formal education is indeed one of important ways to spread the culture, but it is not the only or even the primary way.  

Admittedly, through formal education a culture can perpetuate the idea it favors and discredit the idea it fears to some extent. Since the day we entered the elementary school, we have been taught what is right, what is wrong and how to tell truth from falseness. Of course, the criterion of true or false is based on the ideas of the culture which was formed before and affects the new generation in class when they are only 7 years old. Also, students in high schools are generally indoctrinated with more values, ideas, and principles of mainstream society. For example, students in China are required to learn politics courses which do not tell the exact truth with utterly objective thoughts but announce the correctness and superiority of our culture and society. However, it is somewhat useful and needful for students who do not have enough capability to understand the complex culture and society to receive and accept the ideas which were told through formal education. But in fact, students in colleges and universities still have to receive the ideas which are supported by the existing culture. Hundreds of thousands of graduates every year have to recite the ideas the culture favors and fears which are going to be tested in the examination in order to have a good mark and thus gain the chance to continue study to achieve a master degree.
  
Besides formal education, many other ways, including family education, public and media opinions, also largely admit a culture perpetuating the ideas it favors and discrediting the ideas it fears, sometimes even do larger effect than formal education. The most important one of these ways is the education from family members. It is obvious that family members, especially our parents, are the ones who usually spend quite a long time with us since we born. As a result, advices and suggestions we heard and accept from them are even more than those we learn in class. And parents tell us common ideas in culture both before we enter elementary school and after we end our formal education learning, so they may affect us more in fact. When it comes to mass media, we all have the sense that they affect us badly as well. Anyone in anywhere at anytime can find things and ideas which are spread before him by different ways, such as television, radio broadcast, newspaper and Internet. Sometimes we do not even notice these things and ideas, but they unconsciously exert a subtle influence on our minds and our attitudes towards the society.  

To sum up, we can see that besides formal education, other more important ways including family education or mass media opinions also add to leading a culture to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-11 at 12:49 ]

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楼主这篇文章论证清晰，基本没什么语法错误，赞一个

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呵呵,谢谢楼上的夸奖!

echostateUID: 194935

The speaker asserts that a culture perpetuating the ideas it favors while discrediting those it fears primarily through formal education. I partly agree with his opinion that formal education is indeed one of important ways to spread the culture, but it is not the only or even the primary way[最后这个分句有点别扭，到底only和primary哪个应该放在even后面呢？我能理解你的意思，可是没把握的事情还是换个写法吧].  

Admittedly, through formal education a culture can perpetuate the idea it favors and discredit the idea it fears to some extent [做点文字变换吧，如discredit/disbelieve/question；favor/enjoy/be fond of；fear/abhor/be afraid of]. Since the day we entered the elementary school, we have been taught what is right, what is wrong and how to tell truth from falseness. Of course, the criterion of true or false is based on the ideas of the culture which was formed before and affects the new generation in class when they are only 7 years old. Also, students in high schools are generally indoctrinated with more values, ideas, and principles of mainstream society. For example, students in China are required to learn politics courses which do not tell the exact truth with utterly objective thoughts but announce the correctness and superiority of our culture and society. However, it is somewhat useful and needful for students who do not have enough capability to understand the complex culture and society to receive and accept the ideas which were told through formal education [have capability to do sth to do sth，这个句型怪噢：P]. But in fact [这里为什么用转折？这句的上一句是useful and needful啊，和这句没有转折关系，应该是顺承关系], students in colleges and universities still have to receive the ideas which are supported by the existing culture. Hundreds of thousands of graduates every year have to recite the ideas the culture favors and fears which are going to be tested in the examination in order to have a good mark and thus gain the chance to continue study to achieve a master degree. [最后要是能总结一句多好^O^]
  
Besides formal education, many other ways, including family education, public and media opinions, also largely admit a culture perpetuating the ideas it favors and discrediting the ideas it fears [文..文…文.…文…...文字变换…..], sometimes even do larger effect than formal education. [Firstly,] The most important one of these ways is the education from family members. It is obvious that family members, especially our parents, are the ones who usually spend quite a long time with us since we [were] born. As a result, [the] advices and suggestions we heard and accept from them are even more than those we learn in class. And parents tell us common ideas in culture both before we enter elementary school and after we end our formal education learning, so they may affect us more in fact. [Secondly] When it comes to mass media, we all have the sense that they affect us badly [换个中性的词，这个词贬义色彩] as well. Anyone in anywhere at anytime can find things [thing这个词少用] and ideas which are spread before him by different ways, such as television, radio broadcast, newspaper and Internet. Sometimes we do not even notice these things and ideas, but they unconsciously exert a subtle influence on our minds and our attitudes towards the society. [anyone in anywhere at anytime后面的几句最好从新组织一下，写得不够清晰。美国人的思维形式是上来先用一句话简明扼要地概括，然后再展开解释。]

To sum up, we can see that besides formal education, other more important ways including family education or mass media opinions also add to leading a culture to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears [最后总结应该概括全文结构，所以这里应该是一个让步，先承认，然后转折，列举其它方法。].

echostateUID: 194935

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=298241
指教：）

GREVivianGREUID: 2103783

感谢不尽!