issue6 第一次发作文 欢迎猛拍

alcestisUID：2101945

用的修锐上课的思路 他因法
提纲：
1 分析年轻人可以帮助我们了解当代文化
2 分析中年人老年人可以帮助了解当代文化   
3 了解历史也可以是我们了解当代文化
因此，了解年轻人并非唯一途径
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How can contemporary culture best be understood? The speaker claims that, to analyze the trends of its youth is the answer to this question. It may be true in some aspects, but in my view, it is far from enough. There are still other ways to understand a society, such as, to examine the middle-aged and old people, and to review the history of the society.

Analyzing the trends of the youth is a good way to understand contemporary culture, for the young people are most sensitive to changes and they are usually willing to change themselves too. Fashion in clothes, cell phones, computers and much other everyday stuff is usually led by the young people. They can always figure out and get used to new functions of new product. Actually, it is they, who are creating fashion. What they use and what they do reflects what they like, which is a indispensable part of culture. If the trend of the youth is neglected, it is possible that we are not able to fully comprehend the contemporary culture, since the young people are the most active and fresh group in a society. Statistics shows, more than 60% TV-advertisements target on the young people. That shows the young people, in some sense, are the main concern of the society, the producers want to affect the contemporary culture by affecting the opinion of the young people.

Although young people can show the contemporary culture, no one can deny the contribution of the middle-aged people and the old people to contemporary culture. Contemporary culture means not only fashion that young people create, but also many other aspects, such as the lifestyle of people, the reflection towards life and nature. Such things above, usually are the middle-aged and old people’s consideration, and only the middle-aged and old people who see more, experience more, and suffer more can consider these kind of things deeply. Goethe, considered one of the most versatile figures in all world literature, devoted his late years to Faust, the crowning achievement of his life. The masterpiece mirrors the universal moral conflict in his age and reveals the light of individuality. It was considered much more valuable than The Lover’s Caprice which was written when Goethe was young.

Also, to review the history of the society is a effective way to understand contemporary culture. Culture is not something that form and determine in a single day. It passes, accumulates, and is modified, from generation to generation. Knowing that American people’s ancestor is mainly Puritan from England, we can better understand why today most American people are diligent and devout than people in most other counties. Without history, one may get into trouble when one tries to understand extant affairs. Without the knowledge of the constant wars between France and German in the several past centuries, one will almost surely fail to understand the contemporary subtle relationship between the two countries.

All in all, there are many effective ways to understand contemporary culture, analyze the trend of the youth is just one of them, and it should be supplemented by other ways, such as examine the middle-aged and the old people, and review the history.

[ Last edited by alcestis on 2005-7-13 at 21:59 ]

hihifrankyUID：2115524

我觉得写得不错啊，例子也用得好。只是有极少的语法错误而已。

alcestisUID：2101945

3x  语法错欢迎指出哈~~~
我也会回拍的

hihifrankyUID：2115524

其实我也想说，但我不太会操作这里的引用啊，改变字体颜色啊，之类的

flfengUID：2111823

写得不错，5分的架子了，句子组织和论证结构还可以改进，先不改了，最近我用你的思路也写一个，再相互讨论讨论吧。。。

8.4 上海

alcestisUID：2101945

hehe 一起加油~~这个论证结构具体指？

flfengUID：2111823

http://edu.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=300863
这是我的同题作业， 一起看看吧， 我用你的思路写的，加了我的一些想法，你的习作我研究过很多编。 我个人是不会改语法之类的东西的， 这样提高有限。

从整篇上讲，你的架子很好，论证及其例子也较到位，但我个人认为在论证及其例子引入时的句式和结构可以多加变化， 建议你看1－2篇新概念英语4上的课文，没有必要背了，应该有所帮助。文章只要切题，论证有力， 连接转承通顺应该就是高分了吧。

多说点评价：

你的开头挺顺的，听简捷，我认为这比东方的八婆头要好多了。语题上讲略显淡薄。 譬如， 一般疑问开头两个以上的问题一起用要强很多，英语很多就是通过这种双重的方法来加深其厚度，如 make your life safe and secure...

thesis statement 要更加强一点，如果内容上就这么招了你也要通过强式的句式来加强它。

别的以后再讨论吧，最近同题5  issue48，再一起研究研究吧

个人意见，不一定准确，错了别怪啊

flfengUID：2111823

不好意思，上面的链接坏了，下面是对的链接

http://edu.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

alcestisUID：2101945

那个开头阿……其实也是新东方的套路阿︿只不过我写不了那样复杂

从你的评论中受益很多呢～～～谢谢

[ Last edited by alcestis on 2005-7-17 at 12:31 ]