issue2 麻烦改改

果小冻UID: 208370

In now society , nobody can or dare be blind to the phenomenon of
competition. Whoever you are , wherever you are ,competition stays
around you . Some people may feel uncomfortable when facing so many
crucial competitions. Perhaps they wish a more peaceful life without
any unfriendly things. Admittedly , competition will bring us nervous ,
or even frustrating moods. However, standing aside the whole society,
in the long run, competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental
to society.
  Firstly, thanks to competition, people will obviously be more energetic
and have more activity to do their jobs. In many occasions, we prefer
larger companies to some small ones ,partly because in larger ones we
can meet more challenges and more stronger competitors .In such competitions,
success or failure does not mean anything on themselves , instead ,they
will make both the competitors stronger and stronger. No one want to be
a failure , as a result , he or she will have to do his or her best in
the competition. At the same time , the work will be more efficient and
bring us more benefits as well. There's no denying that competition promotes
both the individuals and the whole society .
  Secondly, in the competitions people can see their own weaknesses more
clearly, and learn form their opponents. Through competitions, some shortcomings
which can't come out in the daily life will be exposed .For example, perhaps
you think you do very in the badminton playing without a formal competition.
Then one day you take part in a match ,you find your reaction isn't fast
enough, you can't fit accurately ,and so on. In addition, you can learn
many previous experience form the person who competes with you. Maybe,
his or her manner of playing will benefits you a lot ,even change your
whole life. Things also happen in other aspects of life. In the competitions
we can learn useful things, such as vigorous attitudes towards society
and life,the adhere to your belief that never give up, ets.
  Admittedly, there're some malignant competitions in our society, which
may hold up the development .However, advantages weigh over disadvantages.
On condition that ,we lay out efficient laws and regulations for the
competitions, results will certainly become better.
  In a sum, competitions will give us a more active society, and people in
this society will be more confident in themselves .So long as we all have
a passive attitude towards competitions, they of course will be more beneficial
than detrimental to ourselves and the whole society. Competitions give us
hope, give us energy, so promote our society.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-20 at 17:33 ]

staralwaysUID: 193479

注意发贴格式，请把题目和题号一起发上来好吗？谢谢！

staralwaysUID: 193479

"Competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society."

In now [today’s] society, nobody can or dare be blind to the phenomenon of competition. Whoever you are, wherever you are, competition stays around you. [这句的提法很不错。] Some people may feel uncomfortable when facing so many crucial competitions. Perhaps they wish a more peaceful life without any unfriendly things. Admittedly, competition will bring us nervous, or even frustrating moods. However, standing aside the whole society, in the long run, competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society.

Firstly, thanks to competition, people will obviously be more energetic and have more activity to do their jobs. In many occasions, we prefer larger companies to some small ones, partly because in larger ones we can meet more challenges and more [多余，去掉。] stronger competitors. In such competitions, success or failure does not mean anything on themselves, instead, they will make both the competitors stronger and stronger. No one want to be a failure, as a result, he or she will have to do his or her best in the competition. At the same time, the work will be more efficient [done more efficiently] and bring us more benefits as well. There's no denying that competition promotes both the individuals and the whole society. [这段重点说的是“竞争对于个人有好处”，但是没有提到“对于社会的好处”。如果要论述后者的话，建议进一步展开论述，或者另起一段论述。]

Secondly, in the competitions people can see their own weaknesses more clearly, and learn from their opponents. Through competitions, some shortcomings which can't come out in the daily life will be exposed .For example, perhaps you think you do very [well] in the badminton playing without a formal competition. Then one day you take part in a match ,you find your reaction isn't fast enough, you can't fit accurately ,and so on. In addition, you can learn many previous experience from the person who competes with you. Maybe, his or her manner of playing will benefits you a lot, even change your whole life [这个有点言过了。]. Things also happen in other aspects of life. In the competitions we can learn useful things, such as vigorous attitudes towards society and life, the adhere to your belief that never give up, ets. [这段的论述感觉有点混乱；里面提出的几点好处还是很不错的，但是段落层次没有组织好。]

Admittedly, there're some malignant competitions in our society, which may hold up the development. However, advantages weigh over disadvantages. On condition that, we lay out efficient laws and regulations for the competitions, results will certainly become better.

In a sum, competitions will give us a more active society, and people in this society will be more confident in themselves .So long as we all have a passive attitude towards competitions, they of course will be more beneficial than detrimental to ourselves and the whole society. Competitions give us hope, give us energy, so promote our society.

有一个问题是：文章中论述了很多关于“竞争对于个人的好处”，但是没有很好地扩展到整个社会上去。文章很多时候是在讲了许多个人的好处之后，直接用一句话笼统地讲对竞争对于社会也有好处。