ISSUE154 教育类,第6篇,欢迎来拍, 留链接必回拍

leo1001UID: 185894

ISSUE 154  Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.
1.        parents and communities play an important part in education
2.        professional educators are both important
3.  the best way to educate is to involve parents, communities and professional educators

The speaker asserts that parents and communities should be involved the local schools to educate student with professional educators. I totally agree with the speaker’s assertion, because parents, communities and educators all play an important role in education. A student should learn the science knowledge from the teachers and master the living skills from parents and communities.

Admittedly, students learn a lot from parents and communities. Without doubts, the family and the society is a big classroom for all the students to learn the living skills. Compared to local schools, the family is a better place to teach a person how to love as well as to be loved and the society is a place to direct a person how to live in the rapidly changing society. As we all know, parents pay more attention to the children’s physical and psychological health. They have an influence on children’s behaviors while they may not realize. And a planned lesson taught by parents can foresee a great result. Also useful is the lesson taught by the society. For instance, acting as a volunteer can give the students more living experiences rather than being taught in a classroom. And the students can have a good perspective of their status and their future. These experiences can make them ready to face the competitive challenges today.

As well as parents and communities, professional educators are also playing a crucial role in the education of students. As is known that students learn more from their teachers in scientific areas. Math, physics, chemistry and so the forth are all taught by professional educators who have been trained on how to bring to students to the scientific world, let them master the skills and understand theories. The teachers are more experienced to teach by a method having been used for a period of time and consummated by former educators. As a result, the students learn knowledge systematically from professional education.

Markedly, the best way to educate students is to let them learn from their parents, communities and teachers altogether. They can learn different knowledge physically and psychologically in different realms. Because a student only studying cannot even solve the problems ahead of him or her in daily life. For example, many excellent students in high schools cannot so proper homework in China, which is almost because the educators give the students too much stress and parents do a lot with the students’ own life. The basis purpose of education is to make a person fit to live in the society. As a result, parents and communities must be involved in the local schools when the students need life experiences and better live in the competitive world.

In sum, I strongly agree with the speaker’s assertion that parents and communities should be involved in local schools when educating students because students can learn how to live in the society while learning subjects to be more intelligent.
487 words 40min
字数有点少,敬候您的点评
:lol

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-20 at 18:43 ]

leo1001UID: 185894

up

linxiao1983UID: 203095

这篇文章的写法当然是楼主这样最好写了，仅仅看了你的提纲，觉得还是挺全面的
我快考了，没什么时间跑来上网，不能细改，还请海涵！

帮你up一下：）

leo1001UID: 185894

3ks

czzbUID: 208982

The speaker asserts that parents and communities should be involved the local schools to educate student with professional educators. I totally agree with the speaker’s 去掉吧 重复assertion, because parents, communities and educators all play an important role in education. A student should learn the science knowledge from the teachers and master the living skills from parents and communities.

Admittedly, students learn a lot from parents and communities. Without doubts, the family and the society is a big classroom for all the students to learn the living skills. Compared to local schools, the family is a better place to teach a person how to love as well as to be loved and the society is a place to direct a person how to live in the rapidly changing society. As we all know, parents pay more attention to the children’s physical and psychological health. 这句的段主题好像关系不明显They have an influence on children’s behaviors while they may not realize. And a planned lesson taught by parents can foresee a great result. 这句不好 foresee不是这么用Also useful 语法is the lesson taught by the society. For instance, acting as a volunteer can give the students more living experiences rather than being taught in a classroom.汗 比较中式 And the students can have a good perspective of their status and their future. These experiences can make them ready to face the competitive challenges today.

As well as parents and communities, professional educators are also playing a crucial role in the education of students. As is known that students learn more from their teachers in scientific areas. Math, physics, chemistry and so the forth are all taught by professional educators who have been trained on how to bring to students to the scientific world, let them master the skills and understand theories. The teachers are more experienced to teach by a method having been used for a period of time and consummated by former educators. As a result, the students learn knowledge systematically from professional education.

Markedly, the best way to educate students is to let them learn from their parents, communities and teachers altogether. They can learn different knowledge physically and psychologically in different realms. Because a student only studying cannot even solve the problems ahead of him or her in daily life. For example, many excellent students in high schools cannot so proper homework in China, which is almost because the educators give the students too much stress and parents do a lot with the students’ own life. The basis purpose of education is to make a person fit to live in the society. As a result, parents and communities must be involved in the local schools when the students need life experiences and better live in the competitive world.

In sum, I strongly agree with the speaker’s assertion that parents and communities should be involved in local schools when educating students because students can learn how to live in the society while learning subjects to be more intelligent.
487 words 40min

czzbUID: 208982

后面的语法就没时间给楼主细看了 抱歉

感觉你语言上的问题还是有些的 有些意思的表达比较中式

结构上没什么大问题 只是觉得第三段深入的不够 而且没有那种连贯的感觉 第三段可以在前面的基出上论证？为什么两者结合效果好 怎么结合？

麻烦楼主看看我的154
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... type%26typeid%3D101

leo1001UID: 185894

3ks