issue83 同主题 必回拍

myown5891UID：181125

Issue 83
"Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people."

“政府应该保护公有荒地，维持其自然状态，即使这些地区经常极为遥远，人迹罕至。”

:hug:

I strongly agree with the contention that governments have the responsibility to preserve
publicly owned wildness areas in their natural state although all too often these areas
are extremely remote and thus not accessible to most people, for two reasons. First,
preserving publicly owned wilderness areas enable the ecosystem which exist in these
areas to be protected; secondly, to attach importance to preserve publicly owned
wilderness areas makes for further scientific research.

Some detractors may claim that since publicly owned wilderness areas are tremendously remote, the likelihood of sabotage to environment by human beings are slim and thus we need not pay attention to them; these areas would take care of themselves. But in my view, even a few people could cause a chain of damages to these wilderness areas.  Since the advent of the Industrial Revolution, people have substitute machines for human's physical labor, which makes it possible to surpass the limitation of natural quality of human beings. For that reason, by the aid of machines and new technology, a few people could also dramatically change the whole ecosystems where we live, not to mention patches of wilderness areas. Consider, for instance, the destruction of Tropical Rain Forest of Amazon, the lung of the earth. Tropical Rain Forest of Amazon was in a primitive state which few people have access to. But due to a few people who want to bring out the lumber of the forest to make profit, the proportion of the forest had waned sharply in a few years before the local government realized that certain legislation should be instituted to impede the menace. In short, the danger confronted by publicly owned wilderness areas would not diminish because of these areas' remoteness and untrodden state.

Besides, the preserving of publicly owned wilderness areas need the government's attention. I have two reasons for this point. On the one hand, wilderness areas in their natural state are great treasure for scientific studies. There are various kinds of species in these areas, some of which have existed for tens of thousands of years, or even longer. In other words, they have experienced much more time than human beings in the earth. Then scientists can infer how the pristine environment was, which creatures existed in that time, how the relations among these creatures are, how the environment changed, why some kinds are stills living while others were extinct, and so on, all of which are extremely important evidences for many scientific disciplines. Moreover, the natural state of these various species and habitats would provide more precise research results. In brief, it is necessary to preserve these wilderness areas in their natural state for scientific objectives.

On the other hand, the intervention of government in preserving publicly owned wilderness areas make for the preservation of ecosystems in these areas. Any given place may have several different ecosystems that vary in size and complexity. A tropical island, for example, may have a rain forest ecosystem that covers hundreds of square miles, a mangrove swamp ecosystem along the coast, and an underwater coral reef ecosystem. The lost of one kind of ecosystems is a irretrievable loss, which severely damages the biodiversity of the whole world. Carefully preserving every publicly owned
wilderness areas in their natural state amounts to saving our invaluable ecosystems.

In sum, to preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state should be of the great significance.  We call upon federal, state and local governments and the American people to accept the task and realize that we can and must learn to live in harmony with nature.

esmeirasUID：202885

很仔细地拍了
I strongly agree with the contention that governments have the responsibility to preserve
publicly owned wildness areas in their natural state although all too often these areas
are extremely remote and thus not accessible to most people,( for two reasons.? )  ( 这个长句感觉怪怪的 too…too 是句型，这里只有一个。 …..public owned wilderness areas  despite the fact that these areas might be remote and only accessible to only a few people.) First, preserving publicly owned wilderness areas enable the ecosystem which exist in these areas to be protected; Secondly, to attach importance to preserve publicly owned wilderness areas ( makes for ??? )further scientific research.

Some detractors may claim that since publicly owned wilderness areas are tremendously remote, (the likelihood of sabotage to environment by human beings are slim and thus we need not pay attention to them  精彩！); these areas would take care of themselves. But in my view, even a few people could cause a chain of damages to these wilderness areas.  Since the advent of the Industrial Revolution, people have substitute machines for human's physical labor, which makes it possible to surpass the limitation of natural quality of human beings. For that reason, by with? the aid of machines and new technology, a few people could also dramatically change the whole ecosystems where we live, not to mention patches of wilderness areas. Consider, for instance, the destruction of Tropical Rain Forest of Amazon, the lung of the earth. Tropical Rain Forest of Amazon was( 交代事实，不必用过去式) in a primitive state which few people have access to. But due to a few people who want to bring out the lumber of the forest to make profit, the proportion of the forest had waned 虽然wane 显得很高级，但我不确定能放在这里。 解释是 to grow gradually smaller or less after being full or complete; becoming smaller, weaker, or less sharply in a few years before the local government realized that certain legislation should be instituted to impede the menace. ( 很好的承接) In short, the danger confronted by publicly owned wilderness areas would not diminish because of these areas' remoteness and untrodden  state.  这一段非常出彩。 逻辑紧凑，例子贴切，词汇也用得很高级。 羡慕ing…~~~~

Besides, the preserving of publicly owned wilderness areas need the government's attention. I have two reasons for this point. On the one hand, wilderness areas in their natural state are great treasure for scientific studies. There are various kinds of species in these areas, some of which have existed for tens of thousands of years, or even longer. In other words, they have experienced much more time than human beings in the earth. Then scientists can infer how the (pristine environment  pristine 能修饰environment 吗？)was, which creatures existed in that time, how the relations among these creatures are, how the environment changed, why some kinds are stills living while others were extinct, and so on, (all of which 这里该另起一句了。 These information )are extremely important evidences for many scientific disciplines. Moreover, the natural state of these various species and habitats would provide more precise research results. In brief, it is necessary to preserve these wilderness areas in their natural state for scientific objectivespurposes . (这一段观点还是很明晰的。而且，作者在段末都能总结一下，很不错。 但总体感觉比上一段稍逊色， line3 there are various…environment 那4行语言还可以再锤炼一下，感觉有些累赘。)

On the other hand, the intervention of government in preserving publicly owned wilderness areas make for  没有这个搭配啊，你想表达什么意思呢？ Make up for 么？ the preservation of ecosystems in these areas. Any given place may have several different ecosystems that vary in size and complexity. A tropical island, for example, may have a rain forest ecosystem that covers hundreds of square miles, a mangrove swamp 哇，红树林这词也能用上。。。~~~俺还要查呢：ecosystem along the coast, and an underwater coral reef ecosystem. The lost of one kind of ecosystems is a irretrievable loss, which severely damages the biodiversity of the whole world. Carefully preserving every publicly owned
wilderness areas in their natural state amounts to saving our invaluable ecosystems. 最后一句总结得很好

In sum, to preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state should be of the great significance.  We call upon federal, state and local governments and the American people to accept the task and realize that we can and must learn to live in harmony with nature.

很佩服思维的严谨，以及逻辑的流畅。 文章的安排，段落的组织结构，例证个人觉得都是很好的。 让偶这个心狠手辣扔砖的都没很多可挑。 是限时写的么？
Ps: 大大，我也写了，帮我看看吧：  不要留情，砖越大越好。最近需要受点刺激。。。~~~~

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=309822
变色工具不知怎么会事,别介意哈:)

[ Last edited by esmeiras on 2005-8-2 at 10:06 ]