issue83 同主题,没限时

dennyaimarUID：191857

还查了点资料~~

issue83
83"Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people."
政府应该保护公共所有的野生地区，使得它们维持自然的状态，即使这些地方十分地偏远因而大多数人无法到达。

提纲：赞同作者观点
1.这些野生 地区的植被可以在一定程度上弥补人类对环境的破坏。
2.应该留下一些地区维持生物多样性。
3.可以开发成自然保护区，发展旅游事业。

Covered by the boom of modern industry, the decrease of the wilderness fields is often overlooked, while these unimpaired lands play an important role in our neighborhood lives. Thus, the administration of the country should pay attention to these areas and the legislation should pass certain laws to protect them, according to the great benefits brought to human beings as mentioned below.

Firstly, those undeveloped regions, which maintain the primeval character, could help to redeem some demolishment that human have done to the environment. As is known to all, vegetation can consume the carbon dioxide and release oxygen, which is defined as the most crucial requisition for human and other animals to survive. These vegetations can repair the ozonosphere which is being destroyed by some modern apparatus such as refrigerators. The roots of trees and bushes have the function to keep soil, avoiding the extension of desert. Amount of negative ions, which benefit physical health of human, are also emitted by forests, waterfalls in mountains, and grasslands. Just only considering the contribution these unspoiled areas made to the ecosystem of the entire world, and we should surely make the effort to safeguard them, although they are far away from where we live.

Secondly, many animals and plants are only adapted to certain living circumference, as several kinds of apes and some tree ferns. We should protect all these organisms to retain the variety of the biosphere, which is verified to be the basis of natural balance. The wilderness areas, the habitat of mass these creatures, should therefore be preserved as well. Scientists found at least 50000 species plants, for instance, just along the Amazon basin, and only half of them have been identified by the ecologist. Some endangered animals, which may have great value for the research, can only be found in certain wilderness lands. Zang gazelles, which are now very rare, live in the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and seem to be priceless for human beings. Being paradise for those beings, these undeveloped regions have their own reason to exist from exploited.


Last but not least, the value of these areas marked with shock landscape, manifold species, and initial singularity, can be used effectively as tourist resources under the principle that no human trail should be left. Kekexili, as the third largest areas with no settled population in the world, have all traits mentioned above. Government has taken the project of exploiting a natural traveling area in to account. The business will bring the state a respectable income and make the region famous. The ostensible wasted of it mask a considerable margin. In this way, the lands can be used without interfering and reserve their primitiveness.

Whether they are remote or not, government should not ramify the tactics toward those regions.  Because the benefits and the use referred do not related to the distance between them and where people live.

To sum up, considering they can help to repair the environment, keep great numbers of creatures, and bring the country profit by using for traveling business, the state of the wilderness lands should be admitted and the government should try to protect them. Once ruined, they will originate bad impact to the living condition of human beings, and we should take up the responsibility to keep them and ultimately protect our home.

keeyangUID：2120118

提纲：赞同作者观点
1.这些野生 地区的植被可以在一定程度上弥补人类对环境的破坏。
2.应该留下一些地区维持生物多样性。
3.可以开发成自然保护区，发展旅游事业。

Covered by the boom of modern industry, the decrease of the wilderness fields is often overlooked, while these unimpaired lands play an important role in our neighborhood lives. Thus, the administration of the country should pay attention to these areas and the legislation should pass certain laws to protect them(有必要在这里就强调用立法手段来保护吗？我的意见是这里只提出应该保护，至于保护措施或者后面提议下， 或者根本就不要涉及）, according to the great benefits brought to human beings as mentioned below.

Firstly, those undeveloped regions, which maintain the primeval character, could help to redeem some demolishment that human have done to the environment. As is known to all, vegetation can consume the carbon dioxide and release oxygen, which is defined (regarded?)as the most crucial requisition for human and other animals to survive. These vegetations can repair the ozonosphere which is being destroyed by some modern apparatus such as refrigerators.（这个例子不太好吧，因为植被释放氧气，究竟会在多大程度上修复臭氧层很值得怀疑） The roots of trees and bushes have the function to keep soil, avoiding the extension of desert. Amount of negative ions, which benefit physical health of human, are also emitted by forests, waterfalls in mountains, and grasslands. Just only considering the contribution these unspoiled areas made to the ecosystem of the entire world, and we should surely make the effort（make effort to do) to safeguard them, although they are far away from where we live.

Secondly,(则一段在开始没有topic sentence, 因为你下面这句话是在解释野生地保护与动物保护的关系) many animals and plants are only adapted to certain living circumference(circumstaces), as（不恰当，especially?) several kinds of apes and some tree ferns. We should protect all these organisms to retain the variety of the biosphere, which is verified to be the basis of natural balance.(这句话是在讲物种多样性的重要，可以作为大家的常识， 没必要再说） The wilderness areas, the habitat of mass these creatures, should therefore be preserved as well. Scientists found at least 50000 species plants, for instance, just along the Amazon basin, and only half of them have been identified by the ecologist. Some endangered animals, which may have great value for the research(be of great value for research?), can only be found in certain wilderness lands. Zang gazelles, which are now very rare, live in the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and seem to be priceless for human beings. Being paradise for those beings, these undeveloped regions have their own reason to exist from exploited.（这一段条理不太清晰，有一些句子说了，反而影响思路）


Last but not least, the value of these areas marked with shock（?有特色的) landscape, manifold species, and initial singularity, can be used effectively as tourist resources under the principle that no human trail should be left. Kekexili, as the third largest areas with no settled population in the world, have all traits mentioned above. Government has taken the project of exploiting a natural traveling area in to account. The business will bring the state a respectable（considerable) income and make the region famous. The ostensible wasted of it mask a considerable margin.(不理解） In this way, the lands can be used without interfering and reserve their primitiveness. （这一段对原文中保护的理解，是不是有了偏差， 你去看一看他给的分析；  ,ALso,remote wildness areas is not suiable for tourism）

Whether they are remote or not, government should not ramify the tactics toward those regions.  Because the benefits and the use referred do not related to the distance between them and where people live.

To sum up, considering that they can help to repair the environment, keep great numbers of creatures(建议用专业一点的词汇这里，biology divesity), and bring the country profit by using for traveling business, the state of the wilderness lands should be admitted and the government should try to protect them. Once ruined, they will originate bad impact to the living condition of human beings, and we should take up the responsibility to keep them and ultimately protect our home.(这句话又必要说吗，你在原文没有从反面讲）

第一次改作文，不当之处多多原谅

dennyaimarUID：191857

恩,收到~
另外margin有 profit的意思