ISSUE13 V6站队 8.2 高频啊

mrealUID：201732

参考大家的意见已经修改过了，请大家有空继续拍啊:D

又超时了一小会，开始字数还不够，改了一下才达到550。
大家帮忙看看啦，谢谢先：D

Issue13
550words
------题目------
Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.
------正文------
Languages, which carry a lot of meaning as well as many historic stories, are the great treasure of the whole human-being. Unfortunately, many kinds of them is are about to find be close to an end for fewer and fewer people would use them. To avoid that kind of tragedy happening, the government has the undeniable responsibility to take measure to save the lesser-known language. However, other distinct power should also be taken into consideration to make those languages thrive again.

Admittedly, languages, standing for the human's creativity in the culture diversity, are playing an indispensable role in our daily life. Moreover, languages are famous of being part of the intangible legacy entering modern people's mind again. Through the hardship of adapting the environment around and the natural condition, our ancestors create the way they communicate with others and record the affaires taking place in their everyday life, which is language, in the process of interacting with the history, which provide continuous accordance to the certain groups of people.  Nevertheless, the fact that, even none of us would like to see, some lesser-known languages, as the decline of certain culture, are disappearing from our sight cannot be neglected. Nationality Hui and Man in the area of Yunnan in China, for instance, abandon their own languages ages ago and use the language of nationality Han, which is considered as the most wildly-accepted language in China, instead. Another example is that Mexico, which used to have 62 kinds of different Indian languages, is facing the grief that 19 kinds of them are being loss. Less kinds of languages prove dimished sense of human identity of the culture, using which people define who they are. And culture and other factors such as economy, politics, education, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole of society. In another words, less languagges equate less meaningless culture and less stability of the society. There no escaping comes the time that we human-being as a whole to hold back such trend.

Obviously, government, taking charge of the countries where the lesser-known languages are used to speak, should spare no effort to help those languages survive. From the aspects of sticking up to the diversity of culture and giving respect to the human creativity, government should take active measure to make up related law and expedite national machine to protect the precise language, which help culture to maintain our certain position and value locating in the society. What is more, government weighs many advantages in terms of cooperating with other countries and expanding the protection to a global wild scale. Congregating the power of the whole world would definitely benefit the work of preservation to be rapidly put forwards. We can understand that it is more difficult for the govornment to say than to do, even though, the govornment can reach its efficiency other else organizitions cannot do.
But the government's ability of mobilizing and expended money are both limit and it is highly possible that the government lacks appropriate comprehension towards their protective object, let alone expected passion, it is a wise choice to absorb distinct entities to participate in such protection. Depending on large amount of people who are enthusiastic about the past culture and languages as well or are still using the lesser-known language, it will lend more concrete support of saving those lesser-known languages from being forgotten and lost. For example, many scholars take part in the collection and record of the lesser-known languages, which receives efficient results that books about the details of those languages even the fictions translated from by them are published, which guarantee the existence of those languages. Without the public's effort, none of these would we achieve.

From what has been discussed above, whether positive or negative, we can safely draw the conclusion that both the power of government and public need to be taken into account in preventing the lesser-known languages from becoming extinct. Without either one of them, not can we reach the goal to save lesser-known languages and the past culture they reflect.

[ Last edited by mreal on 2005-8-5 at 00:13 ]

kobestrongUID：2117374

------题目------
Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.
------正文------
Languages, which carry a lot of meaning as well as many historic stories, are the great treasure of the whole human-being. Unfortunately, many kinds of them is are about to find be close to an end for fewer and fewer people would use them. To avoid that kind of tragedy happening, the government has the undeniable responsibility to take measure to save the lesser-known language. However, other distinct power should also be taken into consideration to make those languages thrive again.

Admittedly, languages, standing for the human's creativity in the culture diversity, are playing an indispensable role in our daily life. Moreover, languages are famous of being part of the intangible legacy entering modern people's mind again. Through the hardship of adapting the environment around and the natural condition, our ancestors create the way they communicate with others and the affaires taking place in their everyday life, which is language, in the process of interacting with the history, which provide continuous accordance to the certain groups of people. 这句好长太绕口了,意思有些混乱,分两句来说吧. Nevertheless, the fact that, even none of us would like to see, some lesser-known languages, as the decline of certain culture, are disappearing from our sight cannot be neglected. Nationality Hui and Man in the area of Yunnan in China, for instance, abandon 过去时 their own languages ages ago and use the language of nationality Han, which is considered as the most wildly-accepted language in China, instead. Another example is that Mexico, which used to have 62 kinds of different Indian languages, is facing the grief that 19 kinds of them are being loss. 你这里举了这两个例子是为了说明什么呢?仅仅把语言流失这个事情描述出来,但没有强调这些语言对于文化的重要性,就不能证明你这段的论点啊,应该再多加几句这样的话There no escaping comes the time that we human-being as a whole to hold back such trend.

Obviously, government, taking charge of the countries where the lesser-known languages are used to speak, should spare no effort to help those languages survive. From the aspects of sticking up to the diversity of culture and giving respect to the human creativity, government should take active measure to make up related law to protect the precise language. What is more, government weighs many advantages in terms of cooperating with other countries and expanding the protection to a global wild scale.这段论证少了点,可以把政府保护的必要性分几点展开来说,象财力,物力,职权和与其他国家合作等等.

But the government's ability of mobilizing and expended money are both limit and it is highly possible that the government lacks appropriate comprehension towards their protective object, let alone expected passion, it is a wise choice to absorb distinct entities to participate in such protection. Depending on large amount of people who are enthusiastic about the past culture and languages as well or are still using the lesser-known language, it will lend more concrete support of saving those lesser-known languages from being forgotten and lost. For example, many scholars take part in the collection and record of the lesser-known languages, which receives efficient results that books about the details of those languages even the fictions translated from by them are published, which guarantee the existence of those languages. 这句有点头轻脚重,试着把从句位置换换 Without the public's effort, none of these would we achieve.

From what has been discussed above, whether positive or negative, we can safely draw the conclusion that both the power of government and public need to be taken into account in preventing the lesser-known languages from becoming extinct. Without either one of them, not can we reach the goal to save lesser-known languages and the past culture they reflect.

结构不错,文章首尾很标准,:)
分段论证再加强,有的句子不要过于追求复杂,那样有时反而会说不清楚,显得乱!
继续加油~!!!:lol