issue203 刚出炉的，感觉不错，大牛来拍啊

czl223UID: 2120177

203. "The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its heroines."

It is until nowadays that many people argue that through examination of the character of heroes or heroines that the society choose we can best understand the character of the society. The speaker agrees with such a view. As far as I am concerned, I tend to agree that the heroes or heroines in politic indeed reflect the character of the society, while when it comes to other realms, I cannot thoroughly agree with the speaker.

As for the politic realm, those who society chooses as its heroes or its heroines tends to best reflects the character of the society, such as freedom, democracy, civil rights, equality, honesty, loyalty, cheating, and other evil things. One apt illustration is Martin Luther King, an advocate of the equality, was famous for his works "I Have a Dream". In his mind, he hopes that different colored people, white or black, can sit together and chat, have a peaceful life without violence, and treat each other equally one day. Examine his minds aptly reflects the character of the society, that is to say, the character of requiring all the races to have rights to vote or being voted. By scrutiny of the character of the Martin Luther, we can clearly see the pursuing equality character of the society. Another example is the Reagan, famous as his "Star Wars” program. His insisting in putting taxpayer's dollars to the program reflects the character of the arms race with Russia. Therefore, without resorting to the history books for the character of a society, resort to the heroes or heroines for answers.

When it comes to other realms, the character of heroes or heroines, tends to reflect none other than their personal characters rather social character. I say so because people choose them as heroes or heroines for his special personal characters rather than their social characters. Michael Jordan, is famous as "air Jordon", and we choose him as hero for his best skill in playing basketball, which does not reflect the social characters. Similarly, we cannot see any social characters as equality, freedom, fairness, and so forth, from Tiger Woods, the number one in the Golf realm. Consider Marilynn Monroe, famous for his outstanding skills and achievements in movie areas. We do not see any sex discrimination or other social characters. When it comes to economic area, again, we do not see other social characters from Bill Gates, who was chosen as hero for his good skills at making money. When it comes to Newton, Galileo, they just reflect their great achievements in the research areas. Karl Marx, Hemingway, although they are great writers and thinkers, they can only reflect other social characters in their writings rather than reflects the characters of the society that they live. In short, since they are famous for their special personal achievement, and because of this, society chooses him as its heroes or heroines, they do not necessarily reflect the social characters.

In sum, although we can scrutinize the characters of heroes or heroines of the society in politics to evidently see what is the social character, in most of other areas, we cannot define the social character from examination of these people.

one way streetUID: 194590

刚刚看了你的argument48,今天一定帮你改出这篇，稍等。
非常感谢你的修改！

czl223UID: 2120177

可不要怪我拍的太狠啊

one way streetUID: 194590

203. "The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its heroines."

It is until nowadays that many people argue that through examination of the character of heroes or heroines that the society choose we can best understand the character of the society. The speaker agrees with such a view. As far as I am concerned, I tend to agree that the heroes or heroines in politic indeed reflect the character of the society, while when it comes to other realms, I cannot thoroughly agree with the speaker.开头就直接表明立场，不错

As for the politic realm, those who society chooses as its heroes or its heroines tends to best reflects the character of the society, such as freedom, democracy, civil rights, equality, honesty, loyalty, cheating, and other evil things.（为什么英雄还能表现出"other evil things"呢？英雄不是一切美德的象征么，作者应该想想怎样表达才能反映出反面的特征来） One apt illustration is Martin Luther King, an advocate of the equality, was famous for his works "I Have a Dream". In his mind, he hopes that different colored people, white or black, can sit together and chat, have a peaceful life without violence, and treat each other equally one day. Examine his minds aptly reflects the character of the society, that is to say, the character of requiring all the races to have rights to vote or being voted. By scrutiny of the character of去掉 the Martin Luther, we can clearly see the pursuing equality character of the society. Another example is the Reagan, famous as(for) his "Star Wars” program. His insisting in(on) putting taxpayer's dollars to the program reflects the character of the arms race with Russia. Therefore, without resorting to the history books for the character of a society, resort to the heroes or heroines for answers.这句话的主语呢？
这段论述例子举了2个，第一个很合适，但致命的弱点是论证的逻辑没有体现出来：既然通过英雄的性格可以反映出整个社会的特点，那么说明英雄代表了社会大多数人的立场和价值观，是人们意愿的体现，因此，我认为一定要把这一点表示清楚，这是为后面论证做铺垫，阐明了这层意思，那后面例子的作用就不言自明了。还有一点就是最后一个例子中的人物还算不上英雄吧！建议考虑换一个来说，举中国在世界上知名的领导人也很有说服力啊！尤其是在我们这种观念比较单一的国家里，更能集中反映社会的特点。

建议用一个on the other hand 上一段末或这段开头有个过渡句更好,When it comes to other realms, the character of heroes or heroines, tends to reflect none other than their personal characters rather social character. I say so because people choose them as heroes or heroines for his special personal characters rather than their social characters. Michael Jordan, is famous as "air Jordon", and we choose him as hero for his best skill in playing basketball, which does not reflect the social characters. Similarly, we cannot see any social characters as equality, freedom, fairness, and so forth, from Tiger Woods, the number one in the Golf realm. Consider Marilynn Monroe, famous for his outstanding skills and achievements in movie areas. We do not see any sex discrimination or other还可以多举几个 social characters. When it comes to economic area（因该是business area）, again, we do(can) not see other social characters from Bill Gates, who was chosen as hero for his good skills at making money. When it comes to Newton, Galileo, they just reflect their great achievements in the research areas. Karl Marx, Hemingway, although they are great writers and thinkers, they can only reflect other social characters in their writings rather than reflects the characters of the society that they live. In short, since they are famous for their special personal achievement, 去掉and because of this（前面都说since了）, society chooses him as its heroes or heroines, they do not necessarily reflect the social characters.最后这句话总结的很好，呼应了主题，值得学习。但是最后半句有问题，不是not necessary, 而是unable。

In sum, although we can scrutinize the characters of heroes or heroines of the society in politics to evidently see what is the social character, in most of other areas, we cannot define the social character from examination of these people. 结尾简短有力，很好

整体来说，作者感觉还是正确的，这篇文章写得不错，尤其是倒数第二段的论证，例子很丰富，论证也很充分，明确表达了作者的观点，同时也显示了作者考虑问题的全面性。只是赞同的一段论证不是很充分，但不是很大的问题，读过之后可以理解作者的意思，但逻辑的清晰就差了一点。
我今天没有写啊，明天打算写同主题argument137，希望能得到你的指教。:)

czl223UID: 2120177

一定帮你好好的拍啊

czl223UID: 2120177

说明英雄代表了社会大多数人的立场和价值观，是人们意愿的体现，因此，我认为一定要把这一点表示清楚，


这段确实没有论证好啊，缺少分析啊！