argument137 我们的同主题，呵呵

yogurt4UID: 198389

argument137   The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.
'At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River.'


While the water quality of Mason River may be the possible reason for people’ not going there for pastime activity, it alone cannot justify being avoided by Mason City residents. However, if people are busily engaging in their work everyday from the dawn till the twilight, they cannot spare much time for water sports, which is a luxury. At the same time, just because they seldom go to swimming or fishing, they label it as the favorite because of freshness. What is more, we know nothing about the specific geographic condition of Mason district. If there is another river much closer to the city and just as clean, why people would like to drive more twenty minutes to Mason River for the same fun?

Presented survey is also questionable. If the respondents merely include dynamic young people, their answers may vary greatly form the majority of Mason people, who might not like swimming, or fishing, or boating, but quietly watching television on sofa. What is more, dose the survey provide wide enough choices for the surveyed? If there are only three or four options like movies, barbeques, people may give a preferred “favorite” choice but still stay at home watching TV. Even if sports activity is most favored by the residents, fees charged by using water may also prevent Mason River to be a popular place for recreation.

Given that the improved water quality will entice more people fishing or boating in Mason River,water body may just be too dirty for any effort to clean it up. After all, we are not told whether the plan proposed by the agency is sanctioned by the council and finally implemented. Perhaps such an abundant sum of money the overall cost is, Mason council abort the proposal for financial concern. Secondly, common sense tells us that ecological balance is of extraordinary complexity that very likely no existing methods can recover the river to its original health state.

Even if the plan successfully cleans the water, people may still hesitate about going to Mason River for water sports. Possible is that they distrust government’ announcement and are generally worried about the water quality. Moreover, as the statement says, there are once complaints about the water quality. Maybe the government has already tidied the water many times, but each time the effort goes into vein. If this is the case, then with no reason should we expect a soar of people going to Mason River.

The argument just give limited information to justify an increase of people using Mason River for fun, which is requisite to the need of government appropriation on the near public lands.

conquer0824UID: 2102638

While the water quality of Mason River may be the possible reason for people’ not going there for pastime activity, it alone cannot justify being avoided by Mason City residents. However, if people are busily engaging in their work everyday from the dawn till the twilight, they cannot spare much time for water sports, which is a luxury. At the same time, （这里应该是假设吧？maybe it is )just because they seldom go to swimming or fishing that they label it as the favorite because of freshness. What is more, we know nothing about the specific geographic condition of Mason district. If there is another river much closer to the city and just as （as和谁作比较呢？改成much cleaner吧？） clean, why people （choose the further one这里表达的好像不太妥，20分钟只是你的假设) would like to drive more twenty minutes to Mason River for the same fun?

Presented survey is also questionable. If the respondents merely include dynamic young people, their answers may vary greatly form the majority of Mason people, who might not like swimming, or fishing, or boating, but quietly watching television on sofa. What is more, dose the survey provide wide enough choices for the surveyed? If there are only three or four options like movies, barbeques, people may give a preferred “favorite” choice but still stay at home watching TV. Even if sports activity is most favored by the residents, fees charged by using water may also prevent Mason River to be a popular place for recreation.

Given that the improved water quality will entice more people fishing or boating in Mason River,water body may just be too dirty for any effort to clean it up. After all, we are not told whether the plan proposed by the agency is sanctioned by the council and finally implemented.这一点不好，主管部门announced plans ，肯定就要实行了 Perhaps such an abundant sum of money the overall cost is, Mason council abort the proposal for financial concern. Secondly, common sense tells us that ecological balance is of extraordinary complexity that very likely no existing methods can recover the river to its original health state.这里又回到前面去了，中间插的提议未被通过的批判不合理。这一段就直接批判河水恢复不到原来就好了，或者人们不相信能够恢复，心理作用，这是你下一段的东西

Even if the plan successfully cleans the water, people may still hesitate about going to Mason River for water sports. Possible is that they distrust government’ announcement and are generally worried about the water quality. Moreover, as the statement says, there are once complaints about the water quality. Maybe the government has already tidied the water many times, （假设不合理）but each time the effort goes into vein. If this is the case, then with no reason should we expect a soar of people going to Mason River.

The argument just give limited information to justify an increase of people using Mason River for fun, which is requisite to the need of government appropriation on the near public lands.

有一点没有批道，就是就算人多了，须不需要修沙滩，就算需要修沙滩，须不需要政府买单

另外觉得顺序不是很好，在组织一下

yogurt4UID: 198389

（as和谁作比较呢？改成much cleaner吧？）

当然是和MASON RIVER做比较.只是这里还没有承认
人们不去玩水是水质的问题,所以没说much cleaner

Maybe the government has already tidied the water many times, （假设不合理）

治理过很多次,河水水质没有改善也是有可能的.

顺序的问题得承认,回去看看.

嘶喊的牧歌UID: 197463

占座！:mad:

嘶喊的牧歌UID: 197463

While the water quality of Mason River may be the possible reason for people’ not going there for pastime activity, it alone cannot justify being avoided by Mason City residents. [it alone后面的MS没看懂。。。]However, if people are busily engaging in their work everyday from the dawn till the twilight, they cannot spare much time for water sports, which is a luxury. At the same time, just because they seldom go to swimming or fishing, they label it as the favorite because of freshness. [这个倒很新颖。但是不要说这么肯定吧？]What is more, we know nothing about the specific geographic condition of Mason district. If there is another river much closer to the city and just as clean, why people would like to drive more twenty minutes to Mason River for the same fun?

Presented survey is also questionable. If the respondents merely include dynamic young people, their answers may vary greatly form the majority of Mason people, who might not like swimming, or fishing, or boating, [能否去掉一个or？]but quietly watching television on sofa. What is more, [前面有了一个。这里换成Moreover？]dose the survey provide wide enough choices for the surveyed? If there are only three or four options like movies, barbeques, people may give a preferred “favorite” choice but still stay at home watching TV. Even if sports activity is most favored by the residents, fees charged by using water may also prevent Mason River to be a popular place for recreation.[这两句不错。]

Given that the improved water quality will entice more people fishing or boating in Mason River,water body may just be too dirty for any effort to clean it up. After all, we are not told whether the plan proposed by the agency is sanctioned by the council and finally implemented. Perhaps such an abundant sum of money the overall cost is, Mason council abort the proposal for financial concern. Secondly, common sense tells us that ecological balance is of extraordinary complexity that very likely no existing methods can recover the river to its original health state.[偶们张雷东GG说不要用common sense为好。。。]

Even if the plan successfully cleans the water, people may still hesitate about going to Mason River for water sports. Possible is that they distrust government’ announcement and are generally worried about the water quality. [这个句型？对的么？没见过。要教教我。]Moreover, [汗。。。我再换。Furthermore！]as the statement says, there are once complaints about the water quality. Maybe the government has already tidied the water many times, but each time the effort goes into vein. If this is the case, then with no reason should we expect a soar of people going to Mason River.[这一段论证不大充分。两点都是一笔带过。还不如只说后面一点。]

The argument just give limited information to justify an increase of people using Mason River for fun, which is requisite to the need of government appropriation on the near public lands. [你这个结尾果真简短。但是相对你的开头。好像有点不协调。而且好像也没说出什么东西。]

[开头好像巨长。也不知好不好。反正我也是反对restate的。握手。还有就是论证还要深入一点好。具体我也在摸索ing。最后。表扬的话弟弟就不说了啊。。]