argument25 泡面队习作

bishao422UID：204362

The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.
"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."

In this memo, the mayor concludes that to build a golf course and resort hotel, which is similar to those in Ocean View, is the best way to improve Hopewell’s economy. To support this conclusion, the mayor points that tourism in Ocean View have increases and the new businesses have opened since the golf course and the resort hotel were built two yeas ago. The mayor also cites that Ocean View’s tax revenues have risen by 30 percent during the past two years. However, careful scrutiny of the mayor’s memo reveals that this memo relies on several unproved assumptions, and therefore wholly unpersuasive.

To begin with, the mayor unfairly infers that the result that Ocean View’s economy has risen is entirely attributable to that the town built new municipal golf and resort hotel. The mayor overlooks other possibilities: tourist in Ocean View has increased is ascribes to that the tourism environment was improved, or that the effect of tourism advertisement was good. New business has opened there because of the better policy of this government. Moreover, tax revenues have risen by 30 percent, and the tax revenues are not merely from the new municipal golf course and resort hotel, perhaps most of them are from agriculture, industry and other facets. So the new municipal golf course and resort hotel are not the necessary condition to improve the economy.

Secondly, even if the revenues of Ocean View have raise due to the new municipal golf course and resort hotel, the mayor concludes hastily that best way to improve Hopewell’s economy is also to build a golf course and resort hotel. But this need not be the case, the mayor ignores that the geographic area is different. Maybe Ocean View is a place of interests, but Hopewell is a industry town. The mayor also ignores the political and economic factors. The mayor commits a fallacy of false analogy that he fails to rule out disparities between Ocean view and Hopewell.

In addition, even assuming that these two towns are similar in every facet, the mayor still can’t convince me by the cause that Ocean View built the golf course and resort hotel two years ago. But now, maybe the game of golf and living in resort hotel are not as popular as two years ago.

To sum up, the mayor’s memo is logically unsound. To strengthen it, the mayor must demonstrate that the golf course and resort hotel is the main factor for improving the Ocean View’s economy. The mayor must also provide better evidence that Ocean View and Hopewell are similar in many aspects, which can further bolster the memo. To better assess the memo, I would need more information about the golf course and resort hotel are still popular now and future.

[ Last edited by bishao422 on 2005-8-12 at 12:43 ]

skylovUID：209137

argument25 泡面队习作

The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.
"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."

In this memo, the mayor concludes that to build a golf course and resort hotel, which is similar to those in Ocean View, is the best way to improve Hopewell’s economy. To support this conclusion, the mayor points that tourism in Ocean View have increases and the new businesses have opened since the golf course and the resort hotel were built two yeas ago. The mayor also cites that Ocean View’s tax revenues have risen by 30 percent during the past two years. However, careful scrutiny of the mayor’s memo reveals that this memo relies on several unproved assumptions, and therefore wholly unpersuasive.
以不变应万变的开头～～呵呵
To begin with, the mayor unfairly infers that the result that Ocean View’s economy has risen is entirely attributable to that the town built new municipal golf and resort hotel. The mayor overlooks other possibilities: tourist in Ocean View has increased is ascribes to that the tourism environment was improved, or that the effect of tourism advertisement was good. New business has opened there because of the better policy of this government. Moreover, tax revenues have risen by 30 percent, and the tax revenues are not merely from the new municipal golf course and resort hotel, perhaps most of them are from agriculture, industry and other facets. So the new municipal golf course and resort hotel are not the necessary condition to improve the economy.
很充分的论证～～赞一个
Secondly, even if the revenues of Ocean View have raise(risen) due to the new municipal golf course and resort hotel, the mayor concludes hastily that (the) best way to improve Hopewell’s economy is also to build a golf course and resort hotel. But this need(不太了解这个用法呵～～不好意思may?) not be the case, the mayor ignores that the geographic area is different. Maybe Ocean View is a place of interests, but Hopewell is a(n) industry town. The mayor also ignores the political and economic factors. The mayor commits a fallacy of false analogy that he fails to rule out disparities between Ocean view and Hopewell.

In addition, even assuming that these two towns are similar in every facet, the mayor still can’t convince me by the cause that Ocean View built the golf course and resort hotel two years ago. But now, maybe the game of golf and living in resort hotel are not as popular as two years ago.
感觉这段比前面两段单薄很多，是ＴＩＭＥ　ＳＨＩＦＴＩＮＧ的问题可以从可能性展开来写的．On front of the current situation, no one can apply previous experience to nowadays’ practice, so does A. For example, with the change of B...
To sum up, the mayor’s memo is logically unsound. To strengthen it, the mayor must demonstrate that the golf course and resort hotel is the main factor for improving the Ocean View’s economy. The mayor must also provide better evidence(重复过快，可以改成more evidence that...are also needed) that Ocean View and Hopewell are similar in many aspects, which can further bolster the memo. To better assess the memo, I would need more information about the golf course and resort hotel are still popular now and future.
总的来说论证的很到位，提纲也很全面．学习学习呵呵～
如果倒数第２段能论证更充分些就更好了
我还从没有证据证明 Hopewell的现在经营状况不如Ocean View的方面阐述可一下．
偶的连接～～西西
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=317145&extra=page%3D1%26filter%3Dtype%26typeid%3D102