issue51教育高频,大家猛力拍吧,留下链接,必回拍

wineyreUID: 2106739

------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
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Should education be designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student? The speakers claims that education will be truly effective by doing so, however, in my point of view, I concede that college students should have the freedom in determining which courses to take according to their interests and needs, while for all students in elementary schools or middle schools, a well-designed curriculum must be offered to ensure them have the fundamental ability to survive them in the society full of competition and to develop their interests.

In the first place, few students in elementary schools and middle schools can know clear what they are interested in and what they are needed. Although it is common in their essays that they wish to be scientists, teachers or workers, but most of those ideas are all based on the impression of people do those jobs or the influence of their relatives. According to a survey conducted by the Society Department of my university, more than eighty percent of people do the different job as they claimed when they were in their childhood. Five percent of the rest said that they have forgotten they wishes or they had so many wishes when they were in their childhood. Even those who do the same job as they wished since their childhood, they admit that the jobs they are doing now are very different from what they thought at that time. The result of the survey shows that very few people can realize their wishes in their childhood when they grow up just as Washington who claimed he were eager to be a president at the age less than ten. During the course of education, they have shifted their interests to other fields. According to the survey, most people agree that a national curriculum is necessary in elementary and middle schools. Moreover, they have admitted that what they have learnt from primary and middle schools have play a vital role in the formation of their dispositions and benefits them a lot in all aspects of their life.

In the second place, a well-design curriculum should be offered to all students in primary and secondary schools because it can offer students the basic knowledge lacking of which may restrict them from further research or development. Some disciplines, such as languages, maths and physics play a considerable role in the other fields, and the correlation between different disciplines should not be ignored. Just imagine, a child just interested in chemistry but not maths, how can he use maths as a tool in the chemistry field? Even for Einstein, he had used quite a lot time to find mathematical tools before the development of relativity. Without fundamental knowledge, it is impossible for scientists to discover new theories thus the development of the society is restricted. Moreover, it may also affect child psychologically when they grow up.

In the third place, college students should have the freedom in selecting their own courses as for them who has experienced fundamental education in elementary and middle schools should have known clearly what they need and what they are really interested in. Of course, sometimes they may make wrong decision, but even those mistakes can give them lessons. They should make decision independently instead of just following instructions. Students should be encouraged to select courses in different fields and should also be required to have their main focus on their interests and needs.

In sum, while a well-designed curriculum offered to students in primary and secondary schools is a must, education in college should be designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. By doing this, education can create a better environment for students to fulfill their needs and encourage their interests.

zhizhiUID: 2123761

呵呵 互拍
我也先占个座 下午写这个题目 写完了给你改
加油！

zhizhiUID: 2123761

Should education be designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student? The speakers claims that education will be truly effective by doing so, however, in my point of view, I concede that和前面重复了可以去了吧 college students should have the freedom in determining which courses to take according to their interests and needs, while for all students in elementary schools or middle schools, a well-designed curriculum must（太绝对化了 should比较好） be offered to ensure them have the fundamental ability to survive them in the society full of competition and to develop their interests.

In the first place, few students in elementary schools and middle schools can know clear what they are interested in and what they are删掉 needed. Although it is common in their essays that they wish to be scientists, teachers or workers, but most of those ideas are all based on the impression of people do those jobs or the influence of their relatives. According to a survey conducted by the Society Department of my university, more than eighty percent of people do the different job as they claimed when they were in their childhood.（这样可以吗？看到这让人想批the reliability 可能是写arg的惯性吧 但是这样的例证我觉得还是应该斟酌一下的） Five percent of the rest said that they have forgotten they wishes or they had so many wishes when they were in their childhood. Even those who do the same job as they wished since their childhood, they admit that the jobs they are doing now are very different from what they thought at that time. The result of the survey shows that very few people can realize their wishes in their childhood when they grow up just as Washington who claimed he were eager to be a president at the age less than ten. During the course of education, they have shifted their interests to other fields. According to the survey, most people agree that a national curriculum is necessary in elementary and middle schools. Moreover, they have admitted that what they have learnt from primary and middle schools have play a vital role in the formation of their dispositions and benefits them a lot in all aspects of their life.（总觉得整个段落基于一个survey 有点ungrounded 是不是可以考虑把一些内容作为reason的部分，把survey 压缩一下，当然只是我个人的意见:)）

In the second place, a well-design curriculum should be offered to all students in primary and secondary schools because it can offer students the basic knowledge lacking of which may restrict them from further research or development. Some disciplines, such as languages, maths and physics play a considerable role in the（改称some吧） other fields, and the correlation between different disciplines should not be ignored. Just imagine, a child just interested in chemistry but not maths, how can he use maths as a tool in the chemistry field? Even for Einstein, he had used quite a lot time to find mathematical tools before the development of relativity. Without fundamental knowledge, it is impossible for scientists to discover new theories thus the development of the society is restricted. Moreover, it may also affect child psychologically when they grow up.

In the third place, college students should have the freedom in selecting their own courses as for them who has experienced fundamental education in elementary and middle schools should have known clearly what they need and what they are really interested in. Of course, sometimes they may make wrong decision, but even those mistakes can give them lessons. They should make decision independently instead of just following instructions. Students should be encouraged to select courses in different fields and should also（改为as well as 是不是通顺一点） be required to have their main focus on their interests and needs.
这一段整体比较好 赞一个:)

In sum, while a well-designed curriculum offered to students in primary and secondary schools is a must, education in college should be designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. By doing this, education can create a better environment for students to fulfill their needs and encourage their interests.

总的感觉是语言还不错 逻辑关系上面有一点模糊 长句子写的太多了反而让人犯蒙
个人意见啦 呵呵 :)

Archer1123UID: 206148

总得说来，语言和论证都很不错，没什么问题，不错不错:) 具体意见参考附件
但是文中只是讨论了中小学生和大学生的教育问题，对题目中truly effective好像没怎么提到哦，不过我自己写的时候好像也没有注意到，:L
要不你再考虑考虑
我的水平不高，仅供参考，呵呵

cheer up & good luck

Archer1123UID: 206148

有空拍拍我的吧，谢谢
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=318257

wineyreUID: 2106739

万分感激啊.个人觉得自己的逻辑的确不怎么好的说.至于语言,觉得自己还是用了很多低级词汇啊,高级的GRE单词我背不出来,而且写完用word查的时候有一堆拼写错误.
也许应该像批别人一样朝自己的文章扔砖头~~

zhizhiUID: 2123761

自己看自己的总感觉越看越顺眼 有些不通顺的地方都成习惯了 所以要互拍嘛 呵呵 再接再厉 加油！！:)

wineyreUID: 2106739

ding