issue141,帮zrreign改的作文

fantasianosUID??207837

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In the present society, people all pursue wealth in their business, which is a normal requirement. Impelled by this desire, humans have to consider more effective method more有歧义。如果修饰method,则改成more methods that are effective;如果修饰effective，则改成method more effectiveof attaining fortune that present 我不大清楚你这里的present想表达什么意思，反正如果还需要留下的话也最好换个同义词，避免和开头的present词汇重复, resulting in the various appearance in jobs. But what is the vital factor of success? As to me, more individual feature 和前面的more类似的问题，XDF的老师说歧义可是语法错误哦can fascinate me than those only complying conformity.

Given that 改成what the economic value principle is, actually, conformity and individuality are both of necessity in business, representing the adoption of people's thoughts. Conformity is , on behalf of the observation of usual regulations and common ethics, the similarity in the aspects of customers' culture, psychology, and etc., 改成分号 but meanwhile, individuality emphasizes the innovation of the patterns in management, the developing of particular products and services, and especially the certain market which is the loss of others' focuses. Each factor is the inevitably decisive key to success. Due to their crucial impacts, one 改成the company which is 去掉which is更简洁 able to make them to be 去掉to be facilitated entirely can win the competition.

The necessity of complying with the common value is apparent. For instance, three years ago, a new kind of toy is produced by a Japanese company, which is the copy version of 改成the copying version of/the version copied from the Japanese battle ship in the Second World War. So popular is it in Japan that this company earns a great deal and decides to export this kind of toy overseas. But on the contrary, the rejection by Chinese the toy suffered overruns the prospect of this company largely. Since they have not taken into account for 去掉for the misery Chinese have experienced, thus the absence of ignorance absence of和ignorance重复否定，应该删去其中一个，否则形成双重否定 for the national culture contributes to its failure for 改成in promoting the battle ship 加上toy以免引起歧义，或给battle ship加引号以区别于真正的ship in China. 整个段落的时态最好改成过去时，因为讲的是three years ago

Apart from the inarguable functions of those two conditions, individuality overweighs conformity in 改成to a large degree, and in another word, personality is the vital key to profits. The founder of Macintosh, Steve Jobs, is the 改成an example for 一般用of the 不需要the talented creation, resulting in his greatness in the end. He insists entirely incompatible configuration in other computers without Macintosh, and the isolated design for professional graphic work function, while other companies are all pursuing Microsoft' soft ware in 1990's. But the result tells us that his admirable idea--excluding the repeat for the general definition--creats 注意拼写creates an incredible legend in the field of Information Technology. 5 这种短数字尽量用单词，改成Five years passed, Steve Jobs releases his new designed mp3--IPOD, which raises a remarkable turn of popularity--the worship of this unusual product, overthrows the traditional concept and confirmed location. Therefore, the social revolution contributed by IPOD seems not hard to suppose now, though the reformer is the great CEO of Apple actually 文中已经出现过actually，可以改成realistically. Furthermore, SONY also creates a myth changing this world. Many years ago, this company combines radio with earphones together innovated innovated什么作用？修饰前面名词的话就跟together换顺序, and starts a new product and influences the world subsequently--walkman. It is the precious imagination to involve those common objects, and ,要和of course后面的对称，或者都不要逗号 of course, a current of money fluxes into SONY. But those subsequent companies can not be as same fortunate as it 改SONY避免歧义 is, since the market's saturation reduces the huge profit there ever exists. 本段还是要注意过去的事用过去时

As a consequence of that, on the basis of observation for common regulations, more apparent individuality appeals increasing focus in market. Even the general features are confirmed in a long while, but just as what Bill Gates says:改成逗号可能会好些，因为这句不是专门引用的，而是作为你表达整句的一部分" The only thing we never change is change." Adjusting itself to meet the desire and needs seems much better than to confront 为了和主语平衡，这里改成confronting complains and even rejections from public.

Different thoughts can induce a varieties of results 为了顺口，最好整个改成various results, 改分号 at the same time that 是不是应该改用when? we repeat those pragmatic articles, special ideas may bring some surprises to us.

总评：1 注意介词和冠词的使用，尤其是不要轻易用the  2 陈述过去的事情要用过去时态，这和argument中用现在时陈述题目是不同的

zrreignUID??179980

谢谢了，这么多错误我都没注意。真的很感谢！
我会注意的，再交流好吗？