issue11 V6战对 没什么思路,欢迎猛拍和讨论

wineyreUID: 2106739

写得极其郁闷~~

------题目------
All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems.
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The speaker asserts that a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's more persistent social problems should be supported by all nations. In my view, a global university is a necessity in order to solve worldwide social problems, yet different nations should pay more attention on their own social problems, and also concern or change the solutions proposed by the global university students to fit their own conditions.

On one hand, students with different culture backgrounds and knowledge can get together in the global university and solve the world's most persistent social problems by different approaches and methods. Increasing population, wars, pollution and poverty are the problems all nations are facing to. Though there are some solutions which can really change the situation a little, there is no solution which can eradicate those problems. Students from different nations and with different knowledge can be gathered in the global university to find ways to solve those problems by their discussion and innovation. Inspirations of those students are amazing. Collecting and summarizing different opinions, it is possible for them to find effective solutions to those questions, or at least, their ideas can enlighten experts and political leaders and propel them to access the solutions. Thus a global university is a must of solving the worldwide social problems.

On the other hand, different nations should concern their own conditions if possible solutions to the world's most persistent social problems are proposed by students of the global university. Different nations have different conditions. Although those solutions may effectively solve the social problems, yet it is possible that they violate the laws or moral of certain nations. For example, the most effective way to reduce the population is to control the number of birth. In the contrast, abortion is not allowed in some countries. Let's turn to pollution. One of the solutions to eradicate this problem is to use high technology in the process of producing. For some nations, they cannot afford the high prices of such new technology, thus they have to shifting to find other economical way to reduce the pollution. Therefore, the government of different countries should change the solution to make to suitable for their nations' conditions.

In addition, instead of just focusing on the world's most persistent social problems, different nations should also put their foci on the national social problems. Different nations have different problems. While China is lack of educational resources, some western countries are lack of professional technicians. Those problems usually only exists in a small number of questions, which cannot attract the worldwide attention. Lending experience from others is necessary, yet copying the solution can be dangerous. It is almost impossible to seek help from other nations in addressing social problems of a particular nation, as people in other nations are not so familiar with the national culture and moral. Lending experience from others is necessary, yet copying the solution can be dangerous.

In sum, a global university is needed in order to solving the world's most persistent social problems. But different nations should pay more attention on their own social problems and examine carefully before using solutions proposed by global university students.

mkb57288UID: 2105771

我有一篇同主题，其中还吸收了xiaowenzi的一些观点，欢迎交流
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ghlight=%2Bmkb57288
现在看你的

mkb57288UID: 2105771

你的语言不错，可能跟你的留学经历有关，我着重来说思路，原题当中并没有拿worldwide problems 和 inner problems 相比，没有排斥后者的解决，这一点上感觉B3和题目的对应不如B1、2那么有力，但是个人认为并不是不可以保留，但需要架一下桥：
By overstating the importance of a  global university to solve worldwide problems, we actually risk ignoring the solution of certain distinctive problems within a nation. 虽然也不是很有利的response，但还是要记两跟题目扯上联系
B1 的最后一行是access 还是assess ？
从思路上来说，还可以强调一下有一些问题的产生和影响已经是国际化的，只有各国的合作努力才能实现，而这一点在学术领域体现出来就是global university
B2是个人认为写得最好的一段，只是那个population control 的例子不太好，在西方一般的问题是出生率下降，劳动力不足，这个对他们来说不是problem
开头结尾都比较清楚简洁，不说了
以上个人意见，仅供参考

wineyreUID: 2106739

你的语言不错，可能跟你的留学经历有关，我着重来说思路，原题当中并没有拿worldwide problems 和 inner problems 相比，没有排斥后者的解决，这一点上感觉B3和题目的对应不如B1、2那么有力，但是个人认为并不是不可以保留，但需要架一下桥：
By overstating the importance of a  global university to solve worldwide problems, we actually risk ignoring the solution of certain distinctive problems within a nation. 虽然也不是很有利的response，但还是要记两跟题目扯上联系
B1 的最后一行是access 还是assess ？
从思路上来说，还可以强调一下有一些问题的产生和影响已经是国际化的，只有各国的合作努力才能实现，而这一点在学术领域体现出来就是global university
B2是个人认为写得最好的一段，只是那个population control 的例子不太好，在西方一般的问题是出生率下降，劳动力不足，这个对他们来说不是problem
开头结尾都比较清楚简洁，不说了
以上个人意见，仅供参考

先谢过.
先说自己刚刚发现的一个问题, on the one hand漏了the．这个问题好像蛮严重的．
B1最后一行是assess,呵呵,你是对的.access problems,呵呵,心里想着下面怎么写,就不注意了.
嗯,觉得B3加了你说的那句跟题目的联系紧密多了.我写的时候一直很犹豫是不是这么写.准确地说,B3是挤出来的.
觉得你的比我的好很多了.我的最大问题是红宝背出的单词也用不了.晕~~
认真参考你的经验改.另外我总觉得自己的语言平乏得想让我发疯.

看来自己还是适合TS,例子,分析,总结的写法,这种抽象的题目真让我郁闷.

mkb57288UID: 2105771

觉得Issue虽然不是像argument那么讲求逻辑，但是在逻辑上不跳跃，一点一点地推进来引领读者和说服读者还是必要的，一旦语言产生了跳跃，别人就不大可能跟上你的思维，结果就使得文章的说服力大打折扣，所以个人觉得在一些似是而非的观点前面一定要做好铺垫