Issue4 寄托4人组 8.26作业

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

Issue4
No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study.


This is an era of rapid progress, no matter in the realm of technologies, economy, or academic studies. The speaker in the title statement holds that the advancement of a field of study is caused by outsiders who bring their knowledge and experience to that field. I fundamentally agree that outsiders have a significant role in academic studies, although their role should not be exaggerated either.

To better understand this issue, first we need to take a look at the situation of academic disciplines at present. With the endeavors of predecessors and contemporary scholars, the academic research has been developed into various specific fields, each with its own special topics and methods, and gathering a group of talented people who devote all their enthusiasm and wits into it. Every scientist only takes care of the concrete area he or she is interested in, while let other disciplines charged by other scholars. This distribution proved to be beneficial to all academic circles. With concentrated endeavors to a small field, one can do the research much more deeply than ancient scholars who had no such distribution and usually knew relatively superficially about most fields.

On the other hand, however, over classification of human inquiries also has its disadvantages. Scholars who only concentrate into a narrow area usually use the same method for quite a long time and have a settled perspective to view the field, since continuous focusing on one field narrows their horizon  and isolates them from distinctive methods of other disciplines. Many times the scientists are willing to hold their opinions toward a phenomenon and find many evidences to support it, while reluctant to think in different ways and establish a new theory. Just as the geocentric proponents preferred to add more complexity to their model to satisfy new evident, rather than broke it out and build a new system. It is, unfortunately, the human nature to stay a formed model.

When outsiders come into their field, the situations can be changed. Outsiders have no formed opinion of this field, and bring in fresh air and new perspectives to observe or contemplate the same event. Especially, the method they learn from their original fields can help develop new models of a field. By introducing the analytical method of mathematics, for example, economists gained an revolutionary tool to found new explanatory theories; by borrowing the theory of chemistry, biologists in this century developed a new discipline: biochemistry; by appealing to the progress of modern engineering, historians now can test the accurate age of an ancient record or antique: all this significant advancement are caused by the "dialogue" between different areas, and those outsiders who first introduce the method and knowledge of another field definitely break the ice and contribute a lot to this approach.

However, the role of outsiders should not be overstated. After all, the experts within know more about the characteristics of a field; without their experience, the outsiders cannot understand the fundamental core of a field; what they can do is rather to extend their own subject to a larger coverage, while it is hard to say they cause the revolution to a field. It is only through the co-endeavor of outsiders and scholars within that significant advancements are made. Anyhow, scholars should welcome outsiders to bring their knowledge and experience into the fields they are expert in. By the communication of different subjects, a field can have more new discoveries and thus, be more beneficial all human beings.

哥哥家有二师兄UID: 2124390

哥哥家有二师兄UID: 2124390

Issue4
No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study.


This is an era of rapid progress, no matter in the realm of technologies, economy, or academic studies. The speaker in the title statement/请教下：可以这么说不？ holds that the advancement of a field of study is caused/ 觉得这个词有点怪，realized似乎好 一点点 by outsiders who bring their knowledge and experience to that field. I fundamentally agree that outsiders have a significant role in academic studies, although their role should not be exaggerated either/去了 好.我觉得考场上这么写开头就 挺好的 ，好构思，又快！以前我不太重视模板的重要性，考前两天才意识到 有套自己的模板开头和结尾能节约很多时间

To better understand this issue, first we need to take a look at the situation of academic disciplines at present. 这里缺一句总的概括现状的特点的话;各个领域有不同的特点，学者研究重点不同With the endeavors of predecessors and contemporary scholars, the academic research has been developed into various specific fields/这句话调过来似乎好些：various specific fields have been developed in the academic research, each with its own special topics and methods, and gathering/没主语/ most of them have attracted a group of talented people who/to devote all their enthusiasm and wits into it. Every scientist only takes care of the concrete area/ every and only有点太绝对了，/ those scientists could spare most of their time on what he or she is interested in, while let / letting other disciplines charged by other scholars. This distribution/ 觉得用这个词不太恰当，但是也想不出更好的division? Allocation? 似乎都不够好，干脆就用this好了 proved to be beneficial to all/避免绝对化好一些 academic circles. With concentrated endeavors to a small field, one can do the research much more deeply than ancient scholars who had no such distribution and usually knew relatively superficially about most fields. 这一段感觉逻辑思路不是特别清晰，有些论点没有得到充分的论证

On the other hand, however, over classification of human inquiries also has its disadvantages. Scholars who only concentrate into/on a narrow area usually use the same method for quite a long time and have a settled/ an established perspective to view/ of viewing the field, since continuous focusing on one field narrows their horizon  and isolates them from distinctive methods of other disciplines. Many times the scientists are willing to hold their original opinions toward a phenomenon and find/ then search for a variety of evidences to support it, while reluctant to think in different ways and establish/ develop a new theory. Just as the geocentric proponents preferred to add more complexity to their model to satisfy new evident, rather than broke it out and build a new system. It is, unfortunately, the human nature to stay within a formed model.

When outsiders come into their field, the situations can be changed. Outsiders have no formed/ established opinion of this field, and can bring in fresh air and new perspectives to observe or contemplate/ delete the same event or phenomenon. Especially, the method they learn from their original fields can help develop new models of a field/ be applied to this new field of study. By introducing the analytical method of mathematics, for example, economists gained an revolutionary tool to found new explanatory theories; by borrowing the theory of chemistry, biologists in this century developed a new discipline: biochemistry; by appealing to the progress of modern engineering, historians now can test the accurate age of an ancient record or antique: all this/the significant advancement are/ is caused by the "dialogue" very good between different areas, and those outsiders who first introduce the method and knowledge of another field definitely break the ice and contribute a lot to this approach/ the development of the field of study这一段论证的很好。例子什么的很有说服力，准确.

However, the role of outsiders should not be overstated. After all, the experts within know more about the characteristics of a field; without their experience, the outsiders cannot understand the fundamental core of a field; what they can do is rather to extend their own subject to a larger coverage, while it is hard to say they cause the revolution to a field.这里你可以先讲因为专家长期努力钻研，他们不仅了解本学科过去和现状，他们可以运用最有效的研究方法来预测未来发展趋势，推动学科全面发展；非本专业的尽管可以在某些点上 有些original ideas，但由于他们对该学科缺乏系统的了解和把握，他们的贡献可能只是一种零星的sparkle，而且有可能他们的对该学科的了解还都来自于inside experts It is only through the co-endeavor of outsiders and scholars within that significant advancements are made. Anyhow, scholars should welcome outsiders to bring their knowledge and experience into the fields they are expert in. By the communication of different subjects, a field can have more new discoveries and thus, be more beneficial all human beings./ 最后这句话很象一个新的topic sentence不象结尾的句子哦


总体评论：文章的层次很清晰：
   b1 领域有分工，专家术业有专攻
   b2 分工有坏处：思维定势
   b3  outsider 能缓解这一问题
但是b1论证的 不好，结尾结的不干脆。本篇里语言中有词汇运用不当之处，我猜想是因为在落笔的时候思考的时候用了汉语，再把它转换为英语，才导致了有些词汇用的不恰当。我也是模考的时候着急着写，思路，论点和论据，论证程序没想出个大致的层次就写，效果会差一些

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

in the title statement可以的。

Thanks a million！

xjtuchenUID: 2106678

限制时间了吗？ 写了好多啊

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

限了，但论证的不好