issue236 and arguement1,大家给我看一下，第一次上机写，

48778UID：209221

TOPIC236
：ISSUE- " Encouraging young people to believe that they can accomplish great things if they try hard enough is both misleading and potentially harmful."
提纲1）自然科学领域的重大成就需要work hard
2)人文科学也一样
3）有时候尽管努力了，但也不会得到
Nowadays we can live in a comfortable house and watch the  colorful television programs. We can drive a car to the place we want to go at any time. Whether the car and the television were invented easily in a short time? The answer is no .These accomplishments are completed through several generations' endeavor. In fact any great achievements are due to achievers' working hard although not all endeavors can bring success.
To begin with, the finding in scientific field is based on researchers’ hard working. in the long history the human being is knowing the world step by step. Although today we can do some researches by means of various advanced technologies and appliances. it is still not a easy thing to finish a large work ,let alone the ancient times. For instance the bulb was invented through up t o 1000 times’ failures. Although Hodgkin work in so simple lab she produced the Penicilin and VitaminB12 which make great contributions to the humane being's healthiness. These achievements which seems so common but so important to the humane being all rised from the researchers' working hard
In addition, without artists and writers 'devotion social science can not acquire such a quick progress. A craft's completion need a long proceeding .A excellent book was not finished in a short time. A beautiful building was not completed in one day, similarly, the great pyramid and the great wall's construction sacrificed thousands' people's lives. The human being's culture was created by labrious ancestors' endeavor.
However it is not always this case that everyone can make a great success after his working hard. Sometimes even if a individual spend his whole life to devote to a research, he will get nothing at last. One example is the Nowton, the famous expert in physics, devoted his later half life to the theology, As a result, nothing is obtained. From today's perspective his failure is doomed because his research is based on a absurd supposition. However even if a man whose work rely on a steady theoretical foundation it is also possible to obtain nothing after long times' devotion. Maybe his work can lend a hand to the next generation. However ,at least for him he has not completed it.
In sum any great achievements can not come true without endeavor. Although sometimes after long times' work nothing can be obtained, for our human being's prosperity and development of the society the young should shoulder the heavy burden and continue to work in a spirit of working hard.




TOPIC：ARGUMENT 1 - The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.

"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.

提纲1）跑鞋。。的高销售并不代表追求健康
2）club的爆满不代表向往健康
3）即使上述成立也从在下边两问题

The author notes the previous experience, Plainville merchants' reports and the local club's current condition to justify his conclusion that Nature's Way should open a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products. It apparently seems reasonable, however careful scrutiny show the argument reveals various logical problems which make it unconvincing.
The first problem with this argument is that the author fails to suppose that increasing sale of running shoes and exercise clothing is due to people's concern about healthy lives. Perhaps wearing a sport clothing one will fell healthy and beautiful, influenced by various sports games, so everyone hope to show off himself by having on shoes or clothing which is related to the sport. It is also possible that these products are being discounted, the people buy them on the basis of poor economics. In short without ruling out other possibility the author can not convince us on the basis of his assumption.
Another point worthy considering is that the local club recently enroll full learner in weight training and aerobic class is not necessarily duo to people's awareness about the healthiness. it is possible that after a busy day everyone want to have a relaxation。There is no other recreation place to chose. Perhaps aerobic is their interests. Since the argument provide no alternative explanation, so the author can not make any sound recommendation to his conclusion.
Even if the local people are pursuing a healthy life, the author’s assertion that the company should built a chain store in this place is still unwarranted in two aspects: First, the author suppose that new generation will become their future consumer., however the article provide no evidences to support it .Perhaps these young boys and gilrs chose other ways to keep them healthy ,such as climbing hills or taking part in other sport games which can be offered by his school. Second ,the article does not  consider other competers, whether the consumer have no choice except  for your products, maybe other stores sell the same products in a low price. Due to the low price the consumer are pleased to buy it although sometimes it will take their some times to get to it.
In sum the assertion that the company should open a chain store in the Plainsville  is untenalble in light of a variety alternative explanations. To strengthen it the author must make a survey  whether the local people is pursuing a kind of healthy life . To better evaluate the argument we would need more information about the new generation’s opinions and choices and the competing stores’condition

[ Last edited by 48778 on 2005-12-5 at 22:29 ]

maylUID：2162549

Nowadays we can live in a comfortable house and watch the  colorful television programs. We can drive a car to the place we want to go at any time. Whether the car and the television were invented easily in a short time? The answer is no .These accomplishments are completed through several generations' endeavor. In fact any great achievements are due to achievers' working hard although not all endeavors can bring success.
To begin with, the finding in scientific field is based on researchers’ hard working. In the long history the human being knows the world step by step. Although today we can do some researches by means of various advanced technologies and appliances. It is still not an easy thing to finish a large work, let alone the ancient times. For instance the bulb was invented through up to 1000 times’ failures. Although Hodgkin works in so simple lab she produced the Penicillin and VitaminB12 which make great contributions to the humane being's healthiness(除了条件艰苦，是否应写一下她的hard work). These achievements which seems so common but so important to the humane being all rise from the researchers' working hard
In addition, without artists and writers 'devotion social science can not acquire such a quick progress. A craft's completion need a long proceeding .A excellent book was not finished in a short time. A beautiful building was not completed in one day, similarly, the great pyramid and the great wall's construction sacrificed thousands' people's lives. The human being's culture was created by laborious ancestors' endeavor.
However it is not always this case that everyone can make a great success after his working hard（hard work）. Sometimes even if an individual spend his whole life to devote to a research, he will get nothing at last. One example is the (是不是可以不用the) Newton, the famous expert in physics, devoted his later half life to the theology. As a result, nothing is obtained. From today's perspective his failure is doomed because his research is based on an absurd supposition. However even if a man’s work relies on a steady theoretical foundation it is also possible to obtain nothing after long times' devotion. Maybe his work can lend a hand to the next generation. However, at least for him he has not completed it.
In sum any great achievements can not come true without endeavor. Although sometimes after long times' work nothing can be obtained, for our human being's prosperity and development of the society the young should shoulder the heavy burden and continue to work in a spirit of working hard.

argu写的挺好，但是不是自己先用word 改一下单词和语法

[ Last edited by mayl on 2005-12-5 at 21:31 ]

sallyxinduUID：2131253

mayl 任务完成得最快，这里先赞一个，继续加油

yangxingUID：2112368

加油,ding

sallyxinduUID：2131253

TOPIC236
：ISSUE- " Encouraging young people to believe that they can accomplish great things if they try hard enough is both misleading and potentially harmful."
提纲1）自然科学领域的重大成就需要work hard
2)人文科学也一样
3）有时候尽管努力了，但也不会得到
Nowadays we can live in a comfortable house and watch the  colorful television programs. We can drive a car to the place we want to go at any time.觉得前面两个句子可以合并一个，要不然觉得句子太简单，把house 后面的and 去掉，用逗号代替，然后在第一和２个句子用and 连接 Whether the car and the television were invented easily in a short time? The answer is 可用个absolute修饰，加强语气no .These accomplishments are completed through several generations' endeavor复数. In fact any great achievements are due to achievers' working hard although not all endeavors can bring success.
To begin with, the finding in scientific field is based on researchers’ hard working. in the long history the human being is knowing the world step by step.这句有点chiglish, 建议改成 in the long history, human beings have been advancing in the sophistcated step by step 而且觉得这话和前后没有什么关联．如果后面加个通过辛苦的努力之类的就会觉得更自然．Although today we can do some researches by means of various advanced technologies and appliances. it is still not a easy thing to finish a large work太白，用个masterpiece之类的词好点，但这个词觉得也不是最好的，我在想想，反正就是表示大制作大手笔的词语 ,let alone the 觉得用in 好点ancient times. For instance ，the bulb was invented through up t o 1000 times’ failures. Although可以尝试用其他词语表示转责，不要一直用although Hodgkin work in so simple in so shabby a lab,觉得这样比原来更有强调的感觉 lab she produced the Penicilin and VitaminB12 which make great contributions to the humane being's healthiness. These achievements which seems so common but so important to the humane being all rised from the researchers' working hard
条理很清楚，例子很不错（我收集起了，呵呵）但是总觉得语言有点平，楼主尝试词语和结构的多变
In addition, without artists and writers 'devotion social science can not acquire such a quick progress. A craft's completion need a long proceeding .A excellent book was not注意时态的一致 finished in a short time. A beautiful building was not completed in one day, similarly, the great pyramid and the great wall's construction sacrificed thousands' people's lives. 觉得写成＊＊＊＊at the expense of thouthsands of people's lives 更好点．没怎么见过楼主用的结构，虽然语法正确但觉得不地道The human being's culture was created by labrious ancestors' endeavor.
建议楼主在正文中还是相应得带入encouragement好和题目更靠近。而且要注意句子和句子之间的连接，不要觉得每个句子都是单独的，缺少流畅感However it is not always this case that everyone can make a great success after his working hard. Sometimes even if a individual spend his whole life to devote to a research,就写devotes his whole life to a research 不就好了吗？ he will太绝对，加个表可能的副词 get nothing at last. One example is the Nowton, the famous expert in physics, devoted his later half life to the theology, 加个however 更好As a result, nothing is obtained. From today's perspective his failure is doomed because his research is based on a absurd supposition. However even if a man whose work rely on a steady theoretical foundation it is also possible to obtain nothing after long times' devotion. Maybe his work can lend a hand to the next generation. However ,at least for him he has not completed it.
In sum any great achievements can not come true without endeavor. Although sometimes after long times' work nothing can be obtained, for our human being's prosperity and development of the society the young should shoulder the heavy burden and continue to work in a spirit of working hard.最后一句化很有力，不错！！！

总的就是流畅需要加劲，词语注意多变．总的我觉得还是不错的．当然，我的建议仅供参考哈