argument147 第一篇，多谢指教

@amy@UID: 209096

题目
Argument147  The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

**********************************************************
提纲
（1）没有说明调查是在哪里做的，调查了哪些人，调查了多少人，所以这个调查是没有说服力的。
（2）即使逼真的图像真的决定玩家是否购买，但因为它需要最新的电脑，而10到25岁的人可能并没有多少有经济能力购买。
（3）决定玩家是否购买的除了逼真的画面，还有可能有很多其他因素，比如游戏的情节是否有吸引力，是否易于操作。

**********************************************************
正文  （377字，少了点，暂时写不出来了:mad:）
In this argument, the arguer concludes that the sales of Whirwind video games will increase largely in the following few months. To support this conclusion, the arguer uses the result of a resent survey that taken among video-game players. The argument seems logical, but after careful study, we can find several fatal flaws as follows.

First of all, the validity of the survey is doubtful, because it doesn't give out the information about where the survey was taken, who took the survey, and how many people participated in it. Maybe the survey was conducted at a school where the 10 to 25 years people are focused; so it neglected other people that beyond 10 to 25 years. It’s also possible that only girls were taken the survey, so it didn’t reveal the boys’ opinion. Another possibility is that only 20 people responded, and it is too few to show the actual situation. So the result of the survey cannot proves it can represent the opinion of most people.

In addition, even if it's true that lifelike graphics is the determinant of whether player will buy the game, but such kind of games need the most up-to-date computers, and most players who most likely to play cannot afford the computers, then they will still not to purchase. The players can go to net bars to play the game, thus they will only need to pay the net fee what they can afford. In this case, the sales of Whirwind video games will not improved dramatically.

Finally, besides lifelike graphics, there are many other facets to influent the player's decision, such as, whether the story of the game is attractive, and whether the game is easy to operate. And it is also possible that girls more like cute graphics, while boys like lifelike graphics. So games only have lifelike graphics are not sure to be favored by players and even extensive advertising are not use.

In summary, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. The arguer has to provide more strong evidence to make the argument acceptable. He should conduct the survey at large scale, and make it reveal most people’s real viewpoint. And he should take other facets possibly influent the sales of the game into consideration.

智恩UID: 2160717

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the sales of Whirwind（Whirlwind）video games will increase largely in the following few months. To support this conclusion, the arguer uses the result of a resent survey that taken among video-game players. The argument seems logical, but after careful study, we can find several fatal flaws as follows.（开头不错，简单又清楚）

First of all, the validity of the survey is doubtful, because it doesn't（这种最好写成does not） give out the information about where the survey was taken, who took the survey, and how many people participated in it. Maybe the survey was conducted at a school where the 10 to 25 years people are focused; so it neglected other people that beyond 10 to 25 years.(我觉得题目中说的是10到25岁是玩游戏最多的年龄层，这个调查就是针对这个年龄层调查的，所以这点应该没什么问题。) It’s（It is） also possible that only girls were taken the survey, so it didn’t reveal the boys’ opinion. Another possibility is that only 20 people responded, and it is too few to show the actual situation. So the result of the survey cannot proves(prove) it can represent the opinion of most people.

In addition, even if it's(it is) true that lifelike graphics is the determinant of whether player will buy the game, but(去掉) such kind of games need the most up-to-date computers, and most players who（are） most likely to play cannot afford the computers, then they will still not to（去掉） purchase. The players can go to net bars to play the game, thus they will only need to pay the net fee what（which） they can afford. In this case, the sales of Whirwind（Whirlwind）video games will not improved（去掉ed） dramatically.

Finally, besides lifelike graphics, there are many other facets to influent the player's decision, such as, whether the story of the game is attractive, and whether the game is easy to operate. And it is also possible that girls more like cute graphics, while boys like lifelike graphics. So games only have lifelike graphics are not sure to be favored by players and even extensive advertising are not use.

In summary, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. The arguer has to provide more strong evidence to make the argument acceptable. He should conduct the survey at large scale, and make it reveal most people’s real viewpoint. And he should take other facets possibly influent the sales of the game into consideration.

第一次能写成这样还是满不错的，该找的驳斥的地方都找到了，只是有一点不太准确。注意象it is, do not 这种最好不要缩写，继续写，fighting！！