argument145 （kito小组）辛苦大家了，谢谢！

智恩UID：2160717

145.A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more
likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known
that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night
for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of
breathing wakes the person-often so briefly that the waking goes
unnoticed-and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise.
Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average
person and to exercise more.

提纲：1 调查有问题。（也许调查范围不够广泛，没有代表性；没有足够证据说明snore导致gain weight）
      2 很多snorers 不一定会有sleep apnea。那么也就不会too tired以至于不想锻炼。即使很累，也没有证据说明他们不想锻炼。
      3 少吃多运动不会减少snore。
正文：
In this argument, the author concludes that snorers should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. To support this conclusion, the author cites a new study statistics showing that snorers are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. The author also points out that snorers stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea which makes snorers too tired during the day to exercise. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however reveals that none of them lend credible support to the author’s conclusion.

To begin with, the new study lacks credibility and validity. First, the author fails to provide the sample of this study. So whether the result of this study could reflect the characteristics of the population from which it is drawn is unknown. Second, the author fails to consider other factors which may influence weight. Although snoring may contribute to gain weight, snoring is not the only reason for gaining weight. Without considering and ruling out alternative reasons for gaining weight, it is untenable to assume the correlation between snoring and gaining weight.

Secondly, the author unfairly assumes that snorers all get a sleep apnea. There is no evidence to substantiate snorers are certainly to get a sleep apnea. Therefore that people who snore are too tired to exercise is dubious at best. That is to say, snoring does not lead to be tired in day-time in every situation. What is more, even if snorers are very tired in day-time, no evidence is offered to conclude that tired snorers are not likely to exercise. It is quite possible that just because people feel tired, they are inclined to exercise to relax themselves. Thus it is unreasonable to draw any conclusions that snorers do not tend to exercise.

Finally, the author unfairly assumes that snorers should eat less and exercise more in order to prevent snoring. No evidence is offered to demonstrate the causal relationship between snorers who eat less than average person and exercise more and the result that people who snore could prevent snoring. Therefore it is unconvincing to recommend snorers to eat less and exercise more. Moreover unless the author could substantiate the causal relationship between snoring and gain weight, it is ineffective to suggest snorers to eat less and exercise more.

To sum up, this argument is logically flawed and therefore is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must provide statistics to illustrate the causal relationship between snoring and gaining weight. What is more, to bolster it the author should show me evidence that people who snore tend not to exercise. In addition, the author should provide me evidence to substantiate if snorers eat less and exercise more, they can prevent snoring.

sallyxinduUID：2131253

进来看看智恩的阿狗～～

145.A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more
likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known
that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night
for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of
breathing wakes the person-often so briefly that the waking goes
unnoticed-and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise.
Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average
person and to exercise more.

提纲：1 调查有问题。（也许调查范围不够广泛，没有代表性；没有足够证据说明snore导致gain weight）
      2 很多snorers 不一定会有sleep apnea。那么也就不会too tired以至于不想锻炼。即使很累，也没有证据说明他们不想锻炼。
      3 少吃多运动不会减少snore。
１２点很好，但感觉第３点有点牵强，因为题目并没有说少吃多运动是为了减少ＳＮＯＲＥ,也许是为了身体健康（而没讲snore一定是不健康的）．觉得着眼点可以放在：snore和长胖锻炼没直接联系，应该是anyone who has sleep apnea, shoud...
正文：
In this argument, the author concludes that snorers should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. To support this conclusion, the author cites a new study statistics showing that snorers are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. The author also points out that snorers stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea which makes snorers too tired during the day to exercise. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the author’s conclusion.

To begin with, the new study lacks credibility and validity. First, the author fails to provide the sample of this study. So whether the result of this study could reflect the characteristics of the population from which it is drawn is unknown. Second, the author fails 词语尽量多变吧，前面有fail了，建议改为neglects to consider other factors which may influence snores' weight. Although Granted that snoring may contribute to gain weight, snoring is not the only reason for gaining weight. Without considering and ruling out alternative reasons for gaining weight, it is untenable to assume the correlation between snoring and gaining weight.最好把关系表明，这种表达比较模糊，让ＥＴＳ觉得无力，呵呵，要在气势上压倒他们
这段逻辑很清楚，不错，个别表达有点重复或者口语化，改了下

Secondly, the author unfairly好词！ assumes that snorers all get a sleep apnea. There is no evidence to substantiate snorers are certainly to get a sleep apnea. Therefore that people who snore are too tired to exercise is dubious at best. 这里的逻辑不是很严密，不是所有snorers都有sleep apnea，所以打呼的人旧会累得不详锻炼是可疑的.如果sleep apnea是促进休息的呢？那么你这个逻辑就不对了，所以应该在两个句子之间说明一下sleep apnea才是真正引起疲劳的原因　That is to say, snoring does not 　太绝对了，加个程度副词吧，argu之所以有漏洞是因为太绝对，所以我们不要犯同样的错误，要不然ＥＴＳ会问：你怎么这么肯定呢？万一.....lead to be tired in day-time in every situation. What is more, even if snorers are very tired in day-time, no evidence is offered to conclude that tired snorers are not likely to exercise. It is quite possible that just because people feel tired, they are inclined to exercise to relax themselves. Thus it is unreasonable to draw any conclusions that snorers do not tend to exercise.

Finally, the author unfairly assumes that snorers should eat less and exercise more in order to prevent snoring. No evidence is offered to demonstrate the causal relationship between snorers who eat less than average person and exercise more and the result that people who snore could prevent snoring. Therefore it is unconvincing to recommend snorers to eat less and exercise more. Moreover unless the author could substantiate the causal relationship between snoring and gain weight, it is ineffective to suggest snorers to eat less and exercise more.
这段没仔细看了，建议在提纲上．

To sum up, this argument is logically flawed and therefore is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must provide statistics to illustrate the causal relationship between snoring and gaining weight. What is more, to bolster it the author should show me太主观了，换个词 evidence that people who snore tend not to exercise. In addition, the author should provide me with evidence to substantiate if snorers eat less and exercise more, they can prevent snoring. more exercise and less food can prevent snorers from snoring.

智恩的逻辑不错啊，整篇文章也很清晰，流畅感很好，词汇稍微注意多变下增添文采会更完美．一家之言，仅攻参考．