issue48 kito小组作业贴 多谢修改^-^

bunnymz2005UID: 2146758

Issue48（2005年2-9月总频50次）
48. "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
  
历史研究过于关注个人。历史上最有意义的事件和潮流能够成为可能不是因为几个少数的名人而是一些身份早就被淡忘的人群。
  
少数和多数，精英和大众
Position： both are important
Outline:
1.        The famous figures are indispensable
2.        It would be convenient for the historians to study the key figures
3.        We should not overlook the function of the common people

As for the impetus of history, many people think that groups of forgettable people rather than the famous few play pivotal role in the most significant events and trends in history and thereby asserted that the study of history pay too much attention on individuals. However, I tend to disagree with the author. According to my own lights, both people and the famous individuals lay the foundation for the development and revolution of human society.

First of all, the famous figures are indispensable insofar as they do contribute a lot to some aspects in the civilization history and insofar as results of social events and revolutions depend on the few key figures under some circumstances. Especially in the science field we can name so many famous persons such as Bruno, Newton, Einstein, Hawking, etc. All of them accomplish success and thereby change the science history through their hard work and ingenuity rather than with the help of the masses. From this point, it seems that the key figures become the apple of historian’s eyes is a natural thing.

Indeed, when it comes to the study of history it would be convenient for the historians to seize the essence of momentous events and conductive to relatively easily comprehend the course and the result of the complex historical occurrence. Take the Civil War in the US for instance, the process of the war is usually complicated. On the contrary, once the historian concentrate on some key figures such as Harriet Beecher Stowe, the author of Uncle Tom’s Cabin which is considered the fuse of the Civil War and the famous president Abraham Lincoln the whole event may become conspicuous and clear.

Nontheless, no matter how important the famous individuals seem it can not shade the function of common people in the history. In most time, not the key figures but the unmemorable people are the inherent power to precipitate the revolution and improvement throughout the whole society. Just take the same Civil War for example, we should concede that the Union was preserved which should be much attributed to Lincoln’s great contributions. However, consider if there are not military, the soldiers who died unknown and the proponent of people in north, how Lincoln by himself can win the war and thereby emancipate the slaves in the south. In fact, not only in the social event range but also in the study of history the masses are quite important for the attitudes, the mores, the ideas and the values are all formed in terms of the people in a society, without which the history may be insignificant and become a biography of heroes.

To sum up, without the key figure the groups of people would probably miss their direction and even not gather together for a mutual purpose and thus lose the power of masses in influencing the trend of history; without the group of unmemorable people the whole analysis of the history would lose its groundwork and thereby tend to be no use. Hence, in order to better study and evaluate the history, we should concentrate on both the key figures and the common people.

kito9695UID: 209685

kito小组作业贴 多谢修改^-^

Issue48（2005年2-9月总频50次）
48. "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
  
历史研究过于关注个人。历史上最有意义的事件和潮流能够成为可能不是因为几个少数的名人而是一些身份早就被淡忘的人群。
  
少数和多数，精英和大众
Position： both are important
Outline:
1. The famous figures are indispensable
2. It would be convenient for the historians to study the key figures
3. We should not overlook the function of the common people

As for the impetus of history, many people think that groups of forgettable people rather than the famous few play pivotal role in the most significant events and trends in history and thereby asserted that the study of history pay too much attention on individuals. However, I tend to disagree with the author. According to my own lights请教??, both people and the famous individuals lay the foundation for the development and revolution of human society.开头说很多人认为普通群众是对历史起关键作用的，因此历史研究强调个人，我认为这两者对应题目中两个层次，但是并没有因果关系

First of all, the famous figures are indispensable insofar as they do contribute a lot to some aspects in the civilization history and insofar as results of social events and revolutions depend on the few key figures under some circumstances.后半句似乎缺主语 Especially in the science field we can name so many famous persons such as Bruno, Newton, Einstein, Hawking, etc. All of them accomplishhave accomplished success and thereby changechanged the science history through their hard work and ingenuity rather than with the help of the masses. From this point, it seems that the key figures become the apple of historian’s eyes is a natural thing请教？？.

Indeed, when it comes to the study of history it would be convenient for the historians to seize the essence of momentous events and conductive to relatively easily comprehend the course and the result of the complex historical occurrence.似乎没提到研究个人的好处啊？ Take the Civil War in the US for instance, the process of the war is usually complicated. On the contrary, 没有上升到用这个短语的程度，however表示一下转折就可以了吧once the historian concentrate on some key figures such as Harriet Beecher Stowe, the author of Uncle Tom’s Cabin which is considered the fuse of the Civil War and the famous president Abraham Lincoln ,the whole event may become conspicuous and clear.

Nonetheless, no matter how important the famous individuals seem it can not shade挺形象，不过我不知道能不能这么用 the function of common people in the history. In most time, not the key figures but the unmemorable people are the inherent power to precipitate the revolution and improvement throughout the whole society. Just take the same Civil War for example, we should concede that the Union was preserved which should be much attributed to Lincoln’s great contributions. However, consider if there are not military, the soldiers who died unknown and the proponent of people in north, how couldLincoln by himself 去掉can win the war and thereby emancipated the slaves in the south. In fact, not only in the social event range but also in the study of history the masses are quite important for the attitudes, the mores, the ideas and the values are all formed in terms of the people in a society, without which the history may be insignificant and become a biography of heroes.

To sum up, without the key figure the groups of people would probably miss their direction and even not gather together for a mutual purpose and thus lose the power of masses in influencing the trend of history; without the group of unmemorable people the whole analysis of the history would lose its groundwork and thereby tend to be no use. Hence, in order to better study and evaluate the history, we should concentrate on both the key figures and the common people.两个without结尾很好，但是前者是说个人对历史趋势的作用，后者却说大众对历史分析研究的作用，两个还是统一一下吧

思路还算清楚，语言丰富，但有些过于追求长句复杂句之嫌，建议长短结合，否则容易出错，而且也使文章晦涩。我也不是很行啊，所以你批判地接受吧~~

开始改的丢了，凭着记忆有重改了，有些地方记不得了，见谅哈~~

lawrence1984UID: 178326

issue48 kito小组作业贴 多谢修改^-^

Issue48（2005年2-9月总频50次）
48. "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
  
历史研究过于关注个人。历史上最有意义的事件和潮流能够成为可能不是因为几个少数的名人而是一些身份早就被淡忘的人群。
  
少数和多数，精英和大众
Position： both are important
Outline:
1.        The famous figures are indispensable
2.        It would be convenient for the historians to study the key figures
3.        We should not overlook the function of the common people

As for the impetus of history, many people think that groups of forgettable people rather than the famous few play pivotal role in the most significant events and trends in history and thereby asserted that the study of history pay too much attention on individuals. However, I tend to disagree with the author. According to my own lights, both people and the famous individuals lay the foundation for the development and revolution of human society.

First of all, the famous figures are indispensable insofar as they do contribute a lot to some aspects in the civilization history and insofa（这里换个词，或者不用）r as results of social events and revolutions depend on the few key figures under some circumstances. Especially in the science field we can name so many famous persons such as Bruno, Newton, Einstein, Hawking, etc. All of them accomplish success and thereby change the science history through their hard work and ingenuity rather than with the help of the masses. From this point, it seems that the key figures become the apple of historian’s eyes is a natural thing.（这一段用的这个例子是好的，但是Illustration 的过程还是不够充分和详细，这些大科学家的确主要的成就是靠自己，但是还是有masses的一点功劳的，所以不要说的太绝对，因为你要表达的观点是两种人都对于历史的发展有作用，你认为呢？ ）

Indeed, （这之间应该增加过渡句使文章显得连贯：不仅仅在某些领域 famous few对于历史的起来主要作用， 而且这样做也有利于历史学家对于大事件本质的把握，个人意见， 你批判吸收吧。）when it comes to the study of history it would be convenient for the historians to seize the essence of momentous events and  （be）conductive to relatively easily comprehend the course and the result of the complex historical occurrence. Take the Civil War in the US for instance, the process of the war is usually complicated. On the contrary,( 这个短语用的欠妥) once the historian concentrate on some key figures such as Harriet Beecher Stowe, the author of Uncle Tom’s Cabin which is considered the fuse of the Civil War and the famous president Abraham Lincoln the whole event may become conspicuous and clear. （例子虽然用的恰当，但是我觉得分析还不够仔细，你应该把自己对于这个例子如何支持自己观点的这个过程论述清楚一点， Only one sentence is not enough ！）

Nontheless, no matter how important the famous individuals seem it can not shade the function of common people in the history. In most time, not the key figures but the unmemorable people are the inherent power to precipitate the revolution and improvement throughout the whole society. Just take the same Civil War for example, we should concede that the Union was preserved which should be much attributed to Lincoln’s great contributions. However, consider if there are （not） （not 可以修饰名词？））military, the soldiers who died unknown and the proponent of people in north, how Lincoln by himself can win the war and thereby emancipate the slaves in the south. In fact, not only in the social event range but also in the study of history the masses are quite important for the attitudes, the mores, the ideas and the values are all formed in terms of the people in a society, without which the history may be insignificant and become a biography of heroes.

To sum up, without the key figure the groups of people would probably miss their direction and even not gather together for a mutual purpose and thus lose the power of masses in influencing the trend of history; without the group of unmemorable people the whole analysis of the history would lose its groundwork and thereby tend to be no use. Hence, in order to better study and evaluate the history, we should concentrate on both the key figures and the common people.
文章的轮廓明显，思路清晰，句子写的还好，但是还有很多要改进的地方。关于例子的使用我觉得还要多练习，不过刚开始就写成这样，真的很不错！继续努力！个别语法问题，可以在斟酌一下。句子写的太长，适当缩短，长短句交叉效果更好些。