Argument4 互拍啦，谢谢~~

@amy@UID: 209096

题目
Argument4 The following was posted on an Internet real estate discussion site.

"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town-Adams Realty and Fitch Realty-Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams."

翻译：
在本市的两家最大的房地产经纪公司--Adams Realty和Fitch Realty--之中，Adams显然更优秀一些。Adams有40名房地产经纪人，而Fitch只有25个，且很多是兼职工作。而且，Adams去年的收入是Fitch的两倍，其平均房价为$168000，而Fitch仅为$144000。在Adams销售的房屋卖得也更快：十年前，我把我的房产交给Fitch，它用了四个多月才卖出去；去年，我在Adams卖了另一处房产，仅用一个月就售出了。因此，要想让你的房产卖的更快更好，你应该选择Adams。

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提纲
（1）Adams的房地产经纪人多不代表他们的工作效率高，有可能只有少数人比较能干。
（2）Adams卖的平均房价高不能说明什么问题，有可能是因为它卖的少数几处房子价钱非常高，而多数房子的价钱比Fitch卖的低，这样平均房价和总收入也高了。
（3） 十年前的销售速度和去年的销售速度没有可比性。
（4）并不一定非要在Adams和Fitch种选择一个，也许选一个里要卖房产近的经纪公司更好，说不准手续费又低卖的又快。

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字数：450 words
时间：30分钟
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正文
In this argument, the arguer suggests to choose Adams when one wants to sell home quickly and at a good price because Adams is superior to Fitch. He supports his suggestion by comparing the number of real estate agents, last year's revenue, average sale price, and sale time of the two firms. On the first glance, his suggestion seems reasonable, but after careful examinations, we can find out several flaws as follows.

First of all, the arguer lists the fact that Adams has 40 real estate agents, while Fitch only has 25 and many of them are part-time agents. However, the arguer neglects another fact that the large number of agents cannot be equal to the high work efficiency. It is possible that although Adams has 40 agents, but nearly 20 of them do not work hard. On the contrary, despite of the fewer number, all to 25 agents of Fitch try their best to sell houses.

Secondly, the arguer gives out the evidence that Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and the average price of Adam was also higher than that of Fitch. Nevertheless, the total revenue and the average price can hardly reveal anything. On the one hand, the data is of last year and we do not know the case of this year. On the other hand, it is possible that last year Adam sold out several very expensive houses, thus even if other houses were sold at relative low price, the total revenue and the average is still possible to be higher than that of Fitch. In addition, the quality of houses that were sold by Adams and Fitch is not provided. It is likely that the houses consigned to Adams are all better that those of Fitch, thus it is common that they are sold at a higher price. So until more selling information were provided, we could not conclude Adams can sell house at higher price than Fitch.

Last but not the least, the arguer cites his personal experiences as evidence; nonetheless, his experiences do not have persuasion.  The market situation of ten years ago could have great difference with that of last year. Moreover, It is likely that the home sold ten years ago were very luxury and few people could afford it, while the home sold last year were relative general and cheap, thus it could be sold out much quickly.

To sum up, the arguer is too cursory to give out his suggestion. To make his suggestion more convincing, his has to take the facets discussed above into account, that is, to examine the real situation of the two firms and choose the suitable one.

[ 本帖最后由 @amy@ 于 2006-2-16 15:04 编辑 ]

jingjingtousUID: 2164820

不好意思，又是我拉 ，今天先睡了，明天早起来改，嘻嘻

@amy@UID: 209096

顶一下~~

leedgenUID: 160823

In this argument, the arguer suggests to choose Adams when one wants to sell home quickly and at a good price because Adams is superior to Fitch. He[/She] supports his suggestion by comparing the number of real estate agents, last year's revenue, average sale price, and sale time of the two firms. On the first glance, his suggestion seems reasonable, but after careful examinations, we can find out several flaws as follows.这篇是以前写的了吧？开头算不算restate呀？

First of all, the arguer lists the fact that Adams has 40 real estate agents, while Fitch only has 25 and many of them are part-time agents. [主题句怎么到第二句了？不用先陈述吧，呵呵，又归结出刚开始咱们写的文章的不成熟;P] However, the arguer neglects another fact that the large number of agents cannot be equal to the high work efficiency. It is possible that although Adams has 40 agents, but nearly 20 of them do not work hard. On the contrary, despite of the fewer number, all to 25 agents of Fitch try their best to sell houses. [这里可再深入分析一下]

Secondly, the arguer gives out the evidence that Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and the average price of Adam was also higher than that of Fitch.[这里同上] Nevertheless, the total revenue and the average price can hardly reveal anything. On the one hand, the data is of last year and we do not know the case of this year. On the other hand, it is possible that last year Adam sold out several very expensive houses, thus even if other houses were sold at relative low price, the total revenue and the average is still possible to be higher than that of Fitch. In addition, the quality of houses that were sold by Adams and Fitch is not provided. It is likely that the houses consigned to Adams are all better that those of Fitch, thus it is common that they are sold at a higher price. So until more selling information were provided, we could not conclude Adams can sell house at higher price than Fitch.这段分析蛮全面的

Last but not the least, the arguer cites his personal experiences as evidence; nonetheless, his experiences do not have persuasion. The market situation of ten years ago could have great difference with that of last year. Moreover, It is likely that the home sold ten years ago were very luxury and few people could afford it, while the home sold last year were relative general and cheap, thus it could be sold out much quickly.

To sum up, the arguer is too cursory to give out his suggestion. To make his suggestion more convincing, his[he/she] has to take the facets discussed above into account, that is, to examine the real situation of the two firms and choose the suitable one.


分析得还算可以，就是模板痕迹很明显，应该是以前写的吧？

[ 本帖最后由 leedgen 于 2006-2-16 15:37 编辑 ]

@amy@UID: 209096

呵呵，是啊，1月26号写的啦，刚刚翻了翻发现没改过就顶上来了，嘿嘿，开始写的确实太不成熟了

谢谢leedgen~~~