Issue50 四月''无名''小组第二十八次作业-兔兔

acmwyyUID: 2189302

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 587          TIME: 12:45:00          DATE: 2006-3-15

I agree with the speaker on the board assertion that the quality of instruction can be benefited if faculty spend time working outside the academic world in college and university. But whether this requirement can be apply to all faculty in every scientific field is still open to doubt.

Working outside the academic world would help faculty gain practical experience. This may provide a better understanding toward the application in the current social environment. So they can gain a good insight toward their academic world which leads to am improvement on the quality of instruction. Take the Psychology as an example. An instructor might feel obliged to tell a student whether to be a consular, a developmental psychologist or a manager in the department of human resource. However, with working experience outside the campus, the faculty may provide a more synthetic analysis for the students which refer to the reality.

Because some subjects are totally based on our real life, investment outside the academic world can be essentially important for the faculty to give apt advices to their students. Geography requires scientists explore in the nature, Biology focuses on the animal and plants in the world, Art and Literature reflects reality on the basics of our daily life, Economic abstracted from our market while Politics origin from our social environment. Theories stand on the reality. That's why spending time in practical work is important, or faculty might stuck in the theory and find no way out.

However, working outside the academic world leads to different result in different scientific field. Practical experience might lead to less changes and even hazard the development of the research such as Physics, Mathematics, and Chemistry. Sometimes, these theory themselves are little related to our daily life, a rigid requirement on spending time for working might cause problem.

We also have take into consideration that different faculty have different preference. College and university can not regard them as the same. Some faculty might feel happier being with people and books within his own academic world. Through which, they might contributes greatly towards their own academic domain. Such faculty might suffer from this extra requirement from college and university.

Sometimes working outside one's the academic world might enhance faculty's instruction while they might feel happy to do it as well. But it may turn out to be in the form of pay attention to the daily life. Their action might be a kind of awareness but can not be evaluated. In this condition, we find no way to judge whether they reached the requirement.

We should aware that a rigid requirement may quite possibly result in the dissatisfied in faculty and affect the regular work. It also may draw the faculty's attention so that the have fewer time to negotiated with students. Thus might even leads to a decrease in the quality of instruction level.

In conclusion, we need to treat each faculty individually in respect to the exact science field they are. Application on the practical science field brings in the improvement on the quality of instruction while it might not work in some basic science filed. We also need to aware that the faculty are different. The same policy might receive totally different feedbacks personally. College and university may try to encourage their faculty to spend time working outside their original academic field, but not rigid to a hard-to-get requirement. In fact, the freedom given by the management of the school also can be regard as a certain kind of academic freedom.

[ 本帖最后由 acmwyy 于 2006-3-17 00:14 编辑 ]

suyueUID: 2181126

兔兔的东西不感多说话　欣赏完了．几点看法仅仅是个人看法，幼稚的哈别笑我哈
１．满篇都是 faculty，找些词换下吧，不行就用长句用代词．
２．段落有些多了，感觉说了很多都没有说透．文章丰满但段落不丰满．（个人感觉，你大牛，看你自己了）
３我提供一个我个人认为比较好的结构。

首尾不说了，中间的段落里，首句以简单明白的句子表明观点，然后解释一下观点，正面，反面，不同的领域，不同的时间，空间，等等，然后引出自己的例子，例子说完了之后以一到两句话把例子和主题的关系阐明，最后结尾总结一下自己的观点。 （着个结构是我们菜鸟不会写的套路格式，仅供参考）

expire7UID: 2160574

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 587          TIME: 12:45:00          DATE: 2006-3-15

I agree with the speaker on the board assertion that the quality of instruction can be benefited if faculty spend(spends) time working outside the academic world in college and university. But whether this requirement can be apply to all faculty(faculties) in every scientific field is still open to doubt.(不错，简洁，直接)

Working outside the academic world would help faculty gain practical experience. This may provide a better understanding toward the application in the current social environment. So they can gain a good insight toward their academic world which leads to am (am??) improvement on the quality of instruction.( so不能这样用的) Take the Psychology as an example. An instructor might feel obliged to tell a student whether to be a consular, a developmental psychologist or a manager in the department of human resource. However, with working experience outside the campus, the faculty may provide a more synthetic analysis for the students which refer to the reality.

Because some subjects are totally based on our real life, investment outside the academic world can be essentially important for the faculty to give apt advices to their students. Geography requires scientists explore in the nature, Biology focuses on the animal and plants in the world, Art and Literature reflects reality on the basics of our daily life, (and) Economic abstracted from our market while Politics origin from our social environment. Theories stand on the reality. That's why spending time in practical work is important, or faculty might stuck(stick) in the theory and find no way out. (前两段的衔接不是很好。TS需要修改一下，能互相辉映)

However, working outside the academic world leads to different result in different scientific field. Practical experience might lead to less changes and even hazard the development of the research such as Physics, Mathematics, and Chemistry. Sometimes, these theory themselves are little related to our daily life, a rigid requirement on spending time for working might cause problem.

We also have take into consideration that different faculty have different preference. College and university can not regard them as the same. Some faculty might feel happier being with people and books within his own academic world. Through which, they might contributes greatly towards their own academic domain. Such faculty might suffer from this extra requirement from college and university.

Sometimes working outside one's the academic world might enhance faculty's instruction while they might feel happy to do it as well. But it may turn out to be in the form of pay attention to the daily life. Their action might be a kind of awareness but can not be evaluated. In this condition, we find no way to judge whether they reached the requirement.

We should aware that a rigid requirement may quite possibly result in the dissatisfied in faculty and affect the regular work. It also may draw the faculty's attention so that the have fewer time to negotiated with students. Thus might even leads to a decrease in the quality of instruction level.

In conclusion, we need to treat each faculty individually in respect to the exact science field they are. Application on the practical science field brings in the improvement on the quality of instruction while it might not work in some basic science filed. We also need to aware that the faculty are different. The same policy might receive totally different feedbacks personally. College and university may try to encourage their faculty to spend time working outside their original academic field, but not rigid to a hard-to-get requirement. In fact, the freedom given by the management of the school also can be regard as a certain kind of academic freedom.
没有办法给你改下去了。倒数的五段感觉内部逻辑比较乱，看得我云里雾里的。其实开头和结尾都总结的很好，按结尾的顺序展开主体段就很好了。分段如此多，而且每段都不过详细，不是一种好的方法。语言的提高很明显。句子也不错。不过在段的控制上还需要提高。