五一twe写作特训------by polymath（欢迎贴作文进来互改）

polymathUID: 179557

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Topic 9.

With the development of modern industry, more and more people rush into cities, especially big cities. They come for better education and better jobs, for perfect public utility as well as convenient transportation, and for better medical care and entertainment location. However, when it comes to which kind of place to live in: a big city or a small town? personally, I would say I prefer to live in a small town for the reasons thereinafter.

To start with, it is true that living in a big city has many advantages,such as advanced public transport, a wide variety of goods to choose from, all the latest modern conveniences, more education and employment opportunities. But big cities basically are all confronted with serious problems. A case in point is over-population. With thousands of people flowing into big cities, various problems,such as crowed stinking buses, traffic jams, traffic accidents, are created and make our lives less appealing but more costly. Another big problem is environmental pollution. In big cities, noise and air pollution, mostly from factories and cars make health-care cost ever increasing. Take our capital city Beijing for example, according to the latest news,  Beijing has reached the fifth-grade severe pollution in May, 1st- the first day of “The golden week”.

However, living in a small town could ameliorate such bad statuses. Here you can find less pollution or noise and hardly crowded streets. In sharp contrast, people can live in a relative peace and quiet, breathe more fresh air and listen to the euphonic songs of birds. What’s more, small towns can bring people additional benefits, such as capacious accommodation, harmonious community relationship and secure neighbors. Besides, small town people are more freely of getting in touch with nature. For instance, people can easily climb up the mountain nearby to enjoy the beautiful sight of the rising sun and smell the earth fragrance of the fields. Granted that town life also has some inconveniences such as poor transportation or occlusive communication, but their daily lives are as convenient as, or even more comfortable than that of big city people. For example, they can go shopping in a not so big supermarket and watch movies or plays either on TV or in a cinema.

In a word, many people appreciate the convenience of the big city, but I aspire after the small town’s harmony. If there is one ideal choice that left for me, I would prefer to live in a small town and enjoy my work in a big city.  (411)

[ 本帖最后由 polymath 于 2006-5-6 21:39 编辑 ]

polymathUID: 179557

原版的，见笑了！:$用兰色标出来的句子或短语是原版的。

With the development of modern industry, more and more people rush into cities, especially big cities. They come for better education and better jobs, for perfect living establishment and convenient transportation, and for better medical care and entertainment location. However, when coming to choose between living in big city and in a small town, personally, I would say I prefer to live in a small town for the reasons thereinafter.

To begin with, it is true living in a big city has many advantages: Past public transport, a wide variety of goods to choose from, all the latest modern conveniences, more education and employment opportunities, but big cities basically are all confronted with serious problems. A case in point is population problem. As a result of thousands of people flow into big cities, crowed stinking buses, traffic jams, traffic accidents make our accommodation less appealing and more costly. Another big problem is environmental pollution. As it known to us all,  noise and air pollution, have been the two biggest problems which damage people's health in big cities. Take our capital city Beijing for an example, according to the latest news, Beijing has reached the fifth-grade severe pollution in May, 1st- the first day of “The golden week”.

On the other hand, living in a small town could eliminate such bad problems. Here you can find less pollution or noise and hardly crowded streets. In sharp contrast, people can live in peace and quiet, breathe fresh air and listen to the songs of birds. What’s more, they can enjoy capacious houses, fresh vegetables and beautiful sunshines. Besides, they can work in the field, do many out-door activities.Admitedly, town life also has some inconveniences such as poor transportation or occlusive communication, but their daily lives are as easy as that of big city people. For example, they can go shopping in a not so big supermarket and watch movies or plays either on TV or in a cinema.

In a word, many people appreciate the convenience of the big city, but I aspire after the small town’s harmony. If there is only one choice that left for me, I would prefer to live in a small town and work in a big city.

[ 本帖最后由 polymath 于 2006-5-2 18:05 编辑 ]

olive8310UID: 2164907

and for better medical care and entertainment location. 第1个and的换ALSO会不会好点  好多AND了``
it is true living in a big city has many advantages it is ture that ...
Past public transport 看不懂 LZ解释下好不?
Take our capital city Beijing for an example   To take 吧?
are as easy as that of big city people-> a big city or big cities
they can go shopping in a not so big supermarket and watch movies or plays
they can  go  and watch or play not plays

polymathUID: 179557

首先谢谢olive的认真批改！
:handshake答复：
it is true living in a big city has many advantages ==it is ture that ..
Past public transport 发达的公共交通，我想是这样的，本打算用developed 这个短语在新东方作文讲义忠看到的。应该没错吧！:rolleyes:

其它的暂且保留个人意见！;)可能你没有领会句子的意思吧！

很久没动笔了，效果真是……:L

[ 本帖最后由 polymath 于 2006-5-2 18:04 编辑 ]

powerpycUID: 2180236

①They come for better education and better jobs, for perfect living establishment and convenient transportation, and for better medical care and entertainment location. 好多and，快昏了
②choose between living in big city and in a small town，偶觉得还是choose living...or...，不好的话就那拍子拍我，无所谓啦
③要是偶的话就把population和polution分开说，没别的，凑字~不过考过G的人估计不用我这么猥琐，卡卡
④不知道ETS老头子没怎么想的，我觉得还是多说点乡村的好处，少说的城市的坏处好点。另外提一句，刚才看到TONY老大说的Beijing，我觉得还是用Peking好点，个人意见


刚才看了阿甘正传，感动得一塌糊涂，哎，今天一整天也没好好看书，比昨天还惨，完都完了

polymathUID: 179557

原帖由 powerpyc 于 2006-5-2 19:50 发表
①They come for better education and better jobs, for perfect living establishment and convenient transportation, and for better medical care and entertainment location. 好多and，快昏了
②choose b ...

谢谢power！答复：
①用的是排比，如果你看过类似的英文表达，其实很好的！
②关于between ……and 和between ……or,自己有点拿不准，不过当时觉得and 比较保险，所以还是写了and.还请斑竹发话！:D
③Beijing就是北京，这个是国外官方承认的。不然久联想下2008年奥运会吧！;)至于Peking我觉得似乎就是北大的校名在用它，属于创造的新词汇。所以同意tony斑竹的意见！:p

powerpycUID: 2180236

偶的意思是去掉between,就用or~~

SEE，确实没看到过用法，哎，又被拍了

lanccyUID: 2156906

However, when coming to choose between living in big city and in a small town--->
living in a big city

同意powerpyc的看法，多说点乡村的好处，而且放在开头写，少说点城市的坏处。
学了很多表达，谢谢lz
欢迎来拍：https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... e%3D1#pid1768516469

ospkkUID: 2189812

那不如直接说where to live in是不是也不会有歧义呢

mysteryfigureUID: 2184551

加一篇我的https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ghlight=&page=1

susan8940UID: 160449

复制回去晚上改：）
楼主帮我看看吧
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... xtra=#pid1768535331

改的可能苛刻了些，有不对的地方楼主就ignore them啦
顺便说一下，楼主人很好哦:)

[ 本帖最后由 susan8940 于 2006-5-6 20:43 编辑 ]

polymathUID: 179557

原帖由 susan8940 于 2006-5-6 19:08 发表
复制回去晚上改：）
楼主帮我看看吧
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... xtra=#pid1768535331

你的文章已经看过了！:)

mjtiger23UID: 2164364

楼主看来TWE很好的嘛.我是新手,今天第一次写.也不知道还来不来得及,帮我看看我的好嘛?也是TOPIC9.给小弟打个分,希望得到指教.感激啊...
Different people have different point of views. Some people prefer to live in a small town. Maybe they enjoy the fresh air, the big house and something else. While with the economy growing perpetuately, more and more people want to live in a big city. And it is sure that I am one of them. I prefer to live in a big city. This I support with the following reasons.
The most important reason I choose to live in a big city is the competition. In other words, chances of better jobs that you really like. For example, you work in a TV company. If you are in a small town,maybe you will be popular locally. But when you live in a big city, you know you are nothing, and surely get more competitions. There are a lot of people who expertised in your area,  they will compete with you. So what you can do is to increase your ability and make a breakthrough. Maybe it is teemed with pressure, but you can always be progressive. When you really reach a certain height of your job, better offer will come to you.
You can have more fun in a big city-it is another important reason I think. People today are quite different from people one hundred years ago.They get more pressure,so they need more entertainment to get relieved. Then a big city provide tons of these things. You are a 'Brad Pitt' fan?Go to the theatre.You need some exercise?Go to the gym. Whatever you like ,you can find something in a big city.
Additionally, a big city is much more convenient than a small town. For instance, when you are hungry, but there is not anything left at home. What can you do?In a small town, nothing! But in a big city, you can just go downstairs and grab something to eat at a ‘Seven-Eleven’.
I do not mean that everything is better in a big city. But I believe that a big city has more benefits for us to live in. Therefore , I strongly hold the view that I prefer to live in a big city.

[ 本帖最后由 mjtiger23 于 2006-5-6 20:02 编辑 ]

polymathUID: 179557

原帖由 mjtiger23 于 2006-5-6 19:58 发表
楼主看来TWE很好的嘛.我是新手,今天第一次写.也不知道还来不来得及,帮我看看我的好嘛?也是TOPIC9.给小弟打个分,希望得到指教.感激啊...
Different people have different point of views. Some people prefer to ...

你稍等哈！:)

mjtiger23UID: 2164364

it's OK,thx so much,dood