argument147

luckychinaUID: 2131861

TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
WORDS: 518          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2007-2-9

Citing the result of survey of video-game players, the arguer concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video game are likely to be reversed and increase dramatically in the next few months.  However, the author of the argument relies on a series of unproven assumptions and is therefore unconvincing.

The assumption is that because the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined, the sales trend is about to be reversed. Unfortunately, this is often not the case. Maybe it comes a depression of video game markets, or even of the whole macro economic markets. It is entirely possible that some new-born games other than video games have been invented and increasingly popular so that all the companies producing video games are affronting a sad period. Or the region might be in another great depression and few people can afford to pay for more video games. If so, the decreasing sales are not likely the direct result of the sales trend to any games with lifelike graphics. Before the arguer rules out other alternative explanations, the conclusion that the sales would increase after transmitting to another kind of game is not half convincing yet.

The evaluation of sales from the survey is also too brief, and too general. The arguer asserts that video-game players prefer games with lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. But the ideology is not equal to the realistic. On one hand, do all the players have the most fashionable computers? Can all the players without any acquired computer afford to purchase one? Little have we know, the questions make the conclusion open to doubt. On the other hand, such games might not be as perfect as the subjects thought, considering their prices, the complex of the game story, and the like. It is possible that the prices, including the patent taxes and R&D (research and develop) costs, might be so high that exclude most potential consumers aside. Also, limited by the techniques of lifelike graphics and other factors, such games might be not as interesting as players expect. In these were the case, the conclusion that the increasing sales would certainly happen is susceptible.

Even if the survey is a precise clue to the increasing sales, the strategies suggested by the arguer are still open to doubt. On one hand, the arguer fails to take the whole current video game market into account. Maybe there has existed some overwhelming video game productors controlling nearly all the markets. If Whirlwind took part in and competed with them, such productors might lower their prices with the privilege of the preceding position and draw Whirlwind out crucially. On the other hand, the advertising campaign is unlikely to make efforts, for the real purchase power is usually the players' parents rather than the players themselves. Therefore, without considering the competitors and the real advertising targets, the conclusion might be doubtable.

In sum, the argument given merely scratches the surface of what must be said about the direct causes of the decreasing sales, in order to persuade us the new kind of games and advertising strategies would make efforts and the sale would dramatically proliferate eventually.

diligentgirlUID: 2298483

Citing the result of survey(survey's result) of video-game players, the arguer concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video game are likely to be reversed and increase dramatically in the next few months.  However, the author of the argument relies on a series of unproven assumptions and is therefore unconvincing(有点别扭，删掉吧:) ).（开头蛮简洁^ ^）

The assumption is that because the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined, the sales trend is about to be reversed. (感觉有点生硬，你看换成The first assumption that the sales trend is about to be reversed for the reason that the sales of WW video games have declined seems reasonable or sound会不会好些)Unfortunately, this is often not the case. Maybe it comes a depression of video game markets, or even of the whole macro economic markets. It is entirely possible that some new-born games other than video games have been invented and increasingly popular so that all the companies producing video games are affronting a sad period. Or the region might be in another great depression and few people can afford to pay for more video games. If so, the decreasing sales are not likely the direct result of the sales trend to any games with lifelike graphics. Before the arguer rules out other alternative explanations, the conclusion that the sales would increase after transmitting to another kind of game is not half convincing（convinced注意被动） yet.

The evaluation of sales from the survey is also too brief, and too general. The arguer asserts that video-game players prefer games with lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. But the ideology is not equal to the realistic. On one hand, do all the players have the most fashionable computers? Can all the players without any acquired computer(~s) afford to purchase one? Little have we know, the questions make the conclusion open to doubt. On the other hand, such games might not be as perfect as the subjects (加上they好一些，似乎缺乏逻辑主语)thought, considering their prices, the complex of the game story, and the like. It is possible that the prices, including the patent taxes and R&D (research and develop) costs, might be so high that exclude most potential consumers aside. Also, limited by the techniques of lifelike graphics and other factors, such games might be not as interesting as players expect. In（这里是不是if） these were the case, the conclusion that the increasing sales would certainly happen is susceptible.

Even if the survey is a precise clue to the increasing sales, the strategies suggested by the arguer are still open to doubt(为了避免和前面的重复，这里是不是可以换一个词组，比如called into question). On one hand, the arguer fails to take the whole current video game market into account. Maybe there has existed some overwhelming video game productors controlling nearly all the markets. If Whirlwind took part in and competed with them, such productors might lower their prices with the privilege of the preceding position and draw Whirlwind out crucially. On the other hand, the advertising campaign is unlikely to make efforts, for the real purchase power is usually the players' parents rather than the players themselves. Therefore, without considering the competitors and the real advertising targets, the conclusion might be doubtable.

In sum, the argument given merely scratches the surface of what must be said about the direct causes of the decreasing sales, in order to persuade us the new kind of games and advertising strategies would make efforts and the sale（~s） would dramatically proliferate eventually.

由于水平有限，只是主要修改了一些语法上的小错误，我还需要向你多学习呢！也希望板油高手们能够为luckychina多多指点。^ ^

祝你取得满意的成绩！（n_n）