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[a习作temp] Argument137 【LOVEAW】第四次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-2-14 22:25:37 |显示全部楼层
TOPIC: ARGUMENT137 - The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.

"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."
WORDS: 452          TIME: 上午 12:30:00          DATE: 2007-2-14

This argument draws a conclusion that the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. But it faces several logical flaws.

Obviously, the author fails to tell the connection between the decrease in creational activity and the quality of the water.  Based on the complaints, without information about the number of the people who complaint, the author cursorily deems that the complaints has widely influenced individual's concept in the city. Further, though the survey reveals the rank of water sports in residents' mind, the reliability of the survey is suspicious. Without more detailed information about the dissemination and conductors of the survey, the number of respondents to this survey, it is probable the survey has neglected some data about people who are not interested in water sports. And, as a result, the decrease in water sports absolutely arises from that residents' interests have changed to other kinds of sports. In this case, it is not sagacious to invest on creational facilities for water sports.

Even if the decrease truly results from the water pollution, there are no sufficient evidences to confirm that the plan to clean up Mason River will increase the popularity of water sports as soon as possible. As we know, to process a plan, the agency should work out the finance support and process a profound research on the water pollution, which is too time-cost to test the residents' patience. And whether the problem can be settled is hard to forecast. For instance, if the pollution was caused by the wastes from several factories which is essential for the progress of the city's economic. Admittedly, to conciliate the conflict between the environment and the economic is not an easy way to pass. If these are the scenarios, the author falsely makes a decision on the basis of a announced plan.

Finally, whether the improvements to the publicly owned lands along the river is a beneficial plan should be doubted. If we consider the survey provided is credible, it is quite possible that the lands over the river has been promoted a lot in the past years because of the residents’  enthusiasm to water sports. On the contrary, if the survey is not credible, as argued previously, the residents’ interest – not in water sports – will not help the benefit of the facilities along the river. Moreover, if the city wants to solve the pollution of the river which requires giant investment, whether the plan to promote the publicly owned lands can waltz trough should be cautiously considered.

To sum up, the author is too cursory to draw a conclusion based on doubtable survey, unconsummated plan and decisive assumption.
         静静的生活...

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发表于 2007-2-15 15:03:11 |显示全部楼层
This argument draws a conclusion that the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. But it faces several logical flaws.

开头论点不太明确,可能直接说, the Mason City council have no need to increase…会比较好,反驳是为了往自己的view上引,不是为了反驳而反驳. 我是这样理解的,可以再讨论一下.
Obviously, the author fails to tell the connection between the decrease in recreational activity and the quality of the water.  Based on the complaints, without information about the number of the people who complaint, the author cursorily deems that the complaints has widely influenced individual's concept这句绝了 in the city. (((Further, though the survey reveals the rank of water sports in residents' mind, the reliability of the survey is suspicious. Without more detailed information about the dissemination and conductors of the survey, the number of respondents to this survey, it is probable the survey has neglected some data about people who are not interested in water sports.)))括号里是说survey的可信性,仿佛于这一段的主题无关,而为了证明这一段的的分论点即水污染和水上运动的缩减没有必然联系,你应该把重点放在列举其他可能造成水上运动缩减的原因 And, as a result, the decrease in water sports absolutely arises from that residents' interests have changed to other kinds of sports. In this case, it is not sagacious to invest on recreational facilities for water sports.Even if the decrease truly results from the water pollution, there are no sufficient evidences to confirm that the plan to clean up Mason River will increase the popularity of water sports as soon as possible. As we know, to process a plan, the agency should work out the finance support and process a profound research on the water pollution, which is too time-cost to test the residents' patience. And whether the problem can be settled is hard to forecast. For instance, if the pollution was caused by the wastes from several factories which is essential for the progress of the city's economic. Admittedly, to conciliate the conflict between the environment and the economic is not an easy way to pass. If these are the scenarios, the author falsely makes a decision on the basis of a announced plan. 这一段深刻,!
Finally, whether the improvements to the publicly owned lands along the river is a beneficial plan should be doubted. If we consider the survey provided is credible, it is quite possible that the lands over the river has been promoted a lot in the past years because of the residents’  enthusiasm to water sports. On the contrary, if the survey is not credible, as argued previously, the residents’ interest – not in water sports – will not help the benefit of the facilities along the river. Moreover, if the city wants to solve the pollution of the river which requires giant investment, whether the plan to promote the publicly owned lands can waltz trough should be cautiously considered.
这段和我想的一样,不过比我写得更有逻辑,学习中````

To sum up, the author is too cursory to draw a conclusion based on doubtable survey, unconsummated plan and decisive assumption.

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RE: Argument137 【LOVEAW】第四次作业 [修改]

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Argument137 【LOVEAW】第四次作业
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