Issue147 [Chase for ‘6’ score]第十次作业，拍亚拍亚,留链回拍

chongxinlaiUID: 2235209

刚改了,谁来拍哈~
题目：ISSUE147 -"Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose betweenthem."

Should an individual must choose onebetween modernization and tradition since they are incompatible , as thestatement asserts? When it comes to some terrible tradition such as norespectful of  rights of women, variousethnic and homosexuals , I agree with the speaker's assertion. In terms oftechnological innovations, arts , spiritual live of the masses,However, idisagree with that statements completely.

Istradition and modernization so mutually exclusive that we have to do a choicebetween them, as the statement asserts? When it comes to some terrible tradition which hamperour need of development, I agree with the speaker's assertion. In terms of technologicalinnovations, art, spiritual live of the masses, However, I disagree with thatstatement completely.

Admittedly, a lot of ugly tradition still exists in our world, especially inthose developing countries. Understandably, such traditions are not consistedwith modernization and not satisfy our ultimate objective of building a bettersociety. So we must abandon it. A apt illustration of this point involves a unjust social status between man and woman insome poor countries. In certain nations, women  are unable to gain asenough respect as man. For example, those women are deprived of right ofreceiving education which is regarded as one of the greatest twentieth-centuryopportunities. Lacking enough knowledge and practiced skills, such women cannot find a proper job to supply themselves, let alone contribute to a better society. On thecontrary, in some advanced and democratic nations, all human being are entitledto an equal start and grow up with full development of their own personalities,regardless for one’s sex. In conclusion,  we should prefer to modernization rather thantradition in this respect.

However, many modern accomplishment stems from those traditionthings, which still have great influence on modern ones. It is useless for usto choose one of them. Consider Modern psychology absorbing much information ofreligion such as Christianism, has a positive effort on mental state ofpopulace. In China,when it comes tospring festival stems from sacrifice of ancient people, it has become a significant day forall Chinese. On the science level, a considerable number of technological innovationsdue to traditional theories……………….想不起来了，以后补充。。。 Thus, such tradition contribute profoundly to our bettersociety.

Moreover, manytraditional and modern ones are always compatible and such tradition are acceptedby the masses as well as modernization. In the realm of art such as painting, music andso on, those works of art of old style are popular among young man who seems toprefer the modern works for their trait of seeking for innovation. The reason for that such artworks, as well as those modern art works,  provide them with spiritual enjoyment andcomprehension to artist's  inner emotion and real attitude towardsthe society during his time, even if ways of expression of  both works are different. Besides, lots of new buildings are designed bymeans of mix between traditional and modern. As a result, such buildings oftenfraught with old and new style, attracted the majority of consumers, comparedwith simply expressing modern trend ones. They both enrich our daily lives.
In sum, when it comes to certainnegative parts of tradition, we should select modernization instead oftradition, asdiscussed above. However, what is more benefit for us to strike a balancebetween them.



[ 本帖最后由 chongxinlai 于 2007-3-8 12:53 编辑 ]

chongxinlaiUID: 2235209

唉，真是没人气啊，自己顶

iq28UID: 2152875

马上来

iq28UID: 2152875

下次自己用word先改一下|||你少了好多空格号...

Should an individual must choose one between modernization and tradition since they are incompatible, as the statement asserts? When it comes to some terrible tradition such as no respectful of  rights of women, variousethnic and homosexuals ,(这些已经不是某些field之间的选择了~都已经是歧视妇女(tra) variousethnic(这个不认识...) homosexuals(这个勉强算modern) 某种观念已然确立当然另外一种观念不再存在,incompatible) I agree with the speaker's assertion. In terms of technological innovations, arts , spiritual live of the masses, However, I disagree with that statements completely.

Admittedly, a lot of ugly tradition still exists in our world, especially in those developing countries. Understandably, such traditions are consisted with modernization and not satisfy our ultimate objective of building a better society. A apt illustration of this point involves a unjust social status between man and woman in some poor countries. In certain nations, women  are unable to gain as enough respect as man. For example, those women are deprived of right of receiving education which is regarded as the most important right during the last century. Lacking enough knowledge and practiced skills, such women can not find a proper job to supply themselves, let alone contribute to a better society. Apparently, since such tradition modern civilization and disturb our way of development, we should abandon such terrible tradition. (跑题了.题目是两者是否能共存,你最后结论是必须消除某些传统...)

However, many modern accomplishment stems from those tradition things, which still have great influence on modern ones. As for racial groups, Martin Luther King's striving for rights of the black, our society are sensitive to and respectful of various ethnic. (没看懂..) And modern psychology absorbing much information of religion such as Christianism, has a positive effort on mental state of populace. In China, when it comes to spring festival stems from sacrifice of ancient people, (这个蒙老美还可以...其实是传统v.s.更早的传统...) it has become a significant day for all Chinese. This day is considered as a sign of start of new year. In this day, Chinese people always assemble together and enjoy fruits of their hard work during the last year. (删去,与本段ts无关) Thus, such tradition contribute profoundly to our better society.

Moreover, Many traditional and modern ones are always compatible and such tradition are accepted by the masses as well as modernization. On the business of art (有这种说法?) such as painting, music and so on, those works of art of old style are popular among young man who seems to prefer the modern works for their trait of seeking for innovation. The reason for that such art works provide them with spiritual enjoyment and comprehension to artist's  inner emotion and real attitude towards the society during his time. (这些特点和tradition无关,与incompatible也无关,其实这句话可以用作论证为什么是incompatible的~可以存在和可以共存之间也差了不是很多~你自己再把这句话论述方向改一改就可以了) Besides, lots of new buildings are designed by means of mix between traditional and modern. As a result, such buildings often fraught with old and new style, attracted the majority of consumers, compared with simply expressing modern trend ones. Accordingly, it is hard for us to choose one between them. (既然要论证共存干吗还要choose...) They both enrich our daily lives.

In sum, when it comes to certain negative parts of tradition, we should select modernization instead of tradition, (这句话作为第一段ts是完全可以的!但是你看看你第一段的ts a lot of ugly tradition still exists in our world,这个题目是必须讨论两个之间的关系的,而你第一段就是说了一些丑陋的tradition应该被踢出,偏.其实偏跟不偏就在毫厘之间,你第一段稍微作一点修改~把开头说在某些领域的某些tra必须跟mod是无法共存的~然后下面根本不用改太多~前面加个在妇女人权领域blablabla,中间tra怎么邪恶你已经讲了,后面再点一下mod怎么好怎么必须剔除tra也就可以了) as discussed above. However, what is more benefit for us to strike a balance between them.

加油
这些问题我自己也经常犯的
总体看框架还是有的~



[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-3-7 23:43 编辑 ]

chongxinlaiUID: 2235209

听老大的话，重新改了
Is tradition and modernization so mutually exclusive that we have to do a choice between them, as the statement asserts? When it comes to some terrible tradition which hamper our need of development, I agree with the speaker's assertion. In terms of technological innovations, art, spiritual live of the masses, However, I disagree with that statement completely.

Admittedly, a lot of ugly tradition still exists in our world, especially in those developing countries. Understandably, such traditions are not consisted with modernization and not satisfy our ultimate objective of building a better society. So we must abandon it. A apt illustration of this point involves a unjust social status between man and woman in some poor countries. In certain nations, women  are unable to gain as enough respect as man. For example, those women are deprived of right of receiving education which is regarded as one of the greatest twentieth-century opportunities. Lacking enough knowledge and practiced skills, such women can not find a proper job to supply themselves, let alone contribute to a better society. On the contrary, in some advanced and democratic nations, all human being are entitled to an equal start and grow up with full development of their own personalities, regardless for one’s sex. In conclusion,  we should prefer to modernization rather than tradition in this respect.

However, many modern accomplishment stems from those tradition things, which still have great influence on modern ones. It is useless for us to choose one of them. Consider Modern psychology absorbing much information of religion such as Christianism, has a positive effort on mental state of populace. In China, when it comes to spring festival stems from sacrifice of ancient people, it has become a significant day for all Chinese. On the science level, a considerable number of technological innovations due to traditional theories……………….想不起来了，以后补充应该能填不少字数。。。。 Thus, such tradition contribute profoundly to our better society.

Moreover, many traditional and modern ones are always compatible and such tradition are accepted by the masses as well as modernization. In the realm of art such as painting, music and so on, those works of art of old style are popular among young man who seems to prefer the modern works for their trait of seeking for innovation. The reason for that such art works, as well as those modern art works,  provide them with spiritual enjoyment and comprehension to artist's  inner emotion and real attitude towards the society during his time, even if ways of expression of  both works are different.  Besides, lots of new buildings are designed by means of mix between traditional and modern. As a result, such buildings often fraught with old and new style, attracted the majority of consumers, compared with simply expressing modern trend ones. They both enrich our daily lives.

In sum, when it comes to certain negative parts of tradition, we should select modernization instead of tradition, as discussed above. However, what is more benefit for us to strike a balance between them.