Argument35【0906G 文以载道三月四月作文小组】第1周第1作业 thanks gewang

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Argument35
The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates（水杨酸脂） are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives（食品香料） for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
错误链：
A可治头疼，S和A是一类 -> 研究表明S的高含量和头疼的关系 -> 食品加工厂可作香料 -> M市的人头疼比率会下降
论点：
1.
A可治头疼，S和A是一类，那S就可以用来当药治头疼吗？就算可以，药不是应该严格按照医用说明按时间和剂量来服用，但是加在食品中，不是想什么时候吃就什么时候吃、想吃多少就吃多少？显然不是这样。
2.
研究的可靠性(20年？是否健康？年龄和职业？说不定在20年前他们都是上班族工作压力大容易头疼，现在退休休息多了，都好了？)那就算是真的头疼率有下降，那其他得病了吗？
3.
食品加工厂说S可用作香料？并且要再次加进食品里出售，没有专业权威机构提供证实S的无害性，和人能承受的范围？
结论：
这么多关于S的不确定性疑问，涉及到消费者的健康，没解决食品加工厂就贸然的要使用S，食品加工厂这样做不是为了自己的经济利益，那为什么？呼吁有关部门加强食品卫生检测，不要让消费者无辜受害。
修改版：
The summery claims that Salicylates is a medicine used to treat headaches, appears to be well-presented at the first glance, but not well-reasoned. The author fails to settle some essential cruces that even if the residents of Mentia who suffer from headaches would benefit a lot from S, but we couldn’t conclude that S could be used for medicals.
The information of the study provided, such as the respondents’ sexes and their ages, is insufficient to justify the correlation between S and decline in headaches, considering that is a root of the argument . As for the respondents, could the respondents represent the entire group of people? For instance, Middle-aged people, with the increased risk of headaches under the working pressure twenty years ago, could possibly have a lower risk now, since they have retired and have more spare time to take more exercises than before. Or maybe they are the kind of people who are doing brainwork all day, thus they are the group that prone to get headaches. Without any specific situation of the respondents, the argument could not convince us that the study is carried out by the authority of food field.
As we all know, the medical theory that A is used to a medicine to cure headaches is accepted by medical authority. However, the dose of the medical use should be strictly controlled. Either excessiveness or insufficiency will be harmful to medical-takers (这句好). As mentioned in this passage, S is the member of the same chemical family as A and food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. In the circumstances, we could buy and eat S contained in the food whenever we need; even we could cram it if we wish. What’s worse more, some citizens may have had some food which contains S before they the details. Maybe at the beginning, they are health enough and needn’t to take medical, they will get ill after they take it. It’s dangerous to add S as flavor additives to the food, without formal permission or admission from any specialized institution or organization. Their expectation, a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia, seems
unbelievable. In addition, the government should take some investigations in the company in order to make sure that weather there are some economic profits under the company’s aboveboard surface.
In conclusion, some crucial points about the food security that threaten the citizens’ health are remaining undetermined; the government of M should take some measures to protect its citizens’ safety and health. On the other hand, food inspection should enact a law that explicitly provides the food standards. Or maybe the responders will be misled by the study that supports the food-processing companies.