【TWE作文】1.20号作业 by 不会太久vivian

不会太久vivianUID：2592395

迟交了，写了一个半小时，非常不达标，麻烦狠拍·· :)


1.20日作业题目：Nowdays eating meals with families regularly is not important any more. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


I disagree with the statement ,on the contrary, i hold a strong positive attitude toward the view that having meals together means a lot to each member in family.


I though of my grandparents when I saw the title. . Everyday, they are watching TV , feeding fish or have nothing to do. The most thing they looking forward is sons or daughters bring kids coming for meal . Always, i get the phone call from my grandma : I'v cooked your favourite duck,are you coming tonight?  For aged parents, usually ,they are living in the big but empty department lonely,  Whatever hot movie in TV could no longer be attracted ,but a lovely face of grandson could made them smile.


For children, dinner time is a good opportunity to communicate with each other. With the growth of children,their mind are developing. Parents often know nothing about what their kids thinking about, although they are living together everyday.  When you are seating beside the table for more than half an hour,things get changed,you have to say something. You may talk about the weather ,news,or something happened around . Then you know that the math teacher in school wear a red coat or the school bus is very clean today.


For husband and wife,the meal time is the most enjoyable time. Pretty daughter's joke is a good method to relax yourself from full day tired work. Having a taste of the delicious food cooked by tender wife made you feel that married her is the most right decision you have ever made.


In my opinion having meal with family regularly is becoming more and more important. With the increase of efficient , the time we left for family is decreasing. So,do not save the tiny half an hour  for meal.After the keen competition from society, during the precious time ,you'll find the warm and love from family.

ddcmj519UID：176326

I disagree with the statement ,on the contrary, i hold a strong positive attitude toward the view that having meals together means a lot to each member in family.

I thought of my grandparents when I saw the title. . Everyday, they are watching TV and feeding fish or have nothing to do. The thing they looking forward most is sons and daughters bringing kids coming for meal . Always, i receive the phone call from my grandma ,'英文的引用I'v cooked your favourite duck,are you coming tonight?’  For aged parents, usually ,they live in the big but empty department alone,  Whatever hot movie in TV could no longer be attracted ,but a lovely face of grandson could made them smile.要表达的意思很好，可惜句子错了。。我改的可能也不太对，，no matter how hot the movie is in TV, my grandparents's smile won't show up, unless  the lovely face of grandson turns up
注意，上段内容你只是叙事了，结合整篇文章，开头应该加一句'for parents....'之类的和后文照应，并在段末加总结，否则上段仅为叙事，且叙事内容略有重复，可以考虑再加开头&总结后删减

For children, dinner time is a good opportunity to communicate with each other. As children grows up,their mind are developing. Parents often know nothing about what their kids are thinking, although they lives together everyday不要.  When you are seated/sitting beside the table for more than half an hour,things get changed,you have to say something. You may talk about the weather ,news,or something happened around . Then you know that the math teacher in school wear a red coat or the school bus is very clean today.
这段开始出现分类的思想了，很好，但是没有总结。个人觉得最后一句不是很必要，换成in this way, children get ideas exchanged with parents thus makes them become more and more mature

For husbands and wifes,the meal time is the most enjoyable time. Pretty daughter's joke is a good method to relax them from full day's tired work. Having a taste of the delicious food cooked by tender wife made you 貌似跟开头的for h&w 不符合了。feel that married her is the most right decision you have ever made.   
同样可以小总结一下~

In my opinion, as a conclusion, having meal with family regularly is becoming more and more important. With the increase of efficient , the time we left for family is decreasing. So,do not save the tiny half an hour  for meal.After the keen competition from society, during the precious time ,people 很多人都有着毛病说着说着就喜欢you,有时候是很好，但是要注意整篇文章的人称统一'll find the warm and love from family.
总的来说这次的结构比较明晰了，总结的时候还是最好能跟之前的稍微接应下，再发散会更好。

加油咯~

不会太久vivianUID：2592395

按照ddcmj的指导~改过之后·第二段加了头删了尾·结尾加了呼应·基本上·有了看相，结构完整。可是底子不好，论点有点单薄··逻辑不够深刻··· 以后要好好想论点啊···:p~~多谢的ddcmj呢~~~


I disagree with the statement ,on the contrary, i hold a strong positive attitude toward the view that having meals together means a lot to each member in family.

For grandparents, is happyness to see kids. Usually ,they live in the big but empty department alone.The thing they looking forward most is sons and daughters bringing kids coming for meal,which also bringing the laugh and care.  I thought of my grandparents when I saw the title.  Always, i receive the phone call from my grandma ,'I'v cooked your favourite duck,are you coming tonight?’   Parents are the people who missing  you most,they maybe worry if there is no news from you for several days. Therefore,having meal regularly with parents is meaningful for them ,which contains love and care.


For children, dinner time is a good opportunity to communicate with each other. As children grows up,their mind are developing. Parents often know nothing about what their kids are thinking, although they lives together .  When you are seated/sitting beside the table for more than half an hour,things get changed,you have to say something. You may talk about the weather ,news,or something happened around .In this way, children get ideas exchanged with parents thus makes them become friends.


For husbands or wifes,the meal time is the most enjoyable time. Pretty daughter's joke is a good method to relax them from full day's tired work. Having a taste of the delicious food cooked by tender wife made husband feel that married her is the most right decision him have ever made.  Eating together is becoming an small activity which full of fun .


In my opinion, as a conclusion, having meal with family regularly is becoming more and more important. With the increase of efficient , the time we left for family is decreasing. Having meal together, to make sure the health of grandparents,to find a excuse to commucate with sons,to feel the romance among lovers.    It follows that,do not save the tiny half an hour  for meal.After the keen competition from society, during the precious time ,people will find the warm and love from family.


ddcmj啊 你的名字·好奇怪·cmj，莫非，搓麻将？
~这句也满奇怪，真是不知道怎么改的好·于是搬出来 看有没有大侠路过拔刀相助一把：
中文是·再火热的电视也无法吸引外公外婆，只有孙女的到来才能令他们脸上有笑容。
No matter how hot the movie is in TV, my grandparents'smile  won't show up, unless  the lovely face of grandson turns up.

ddcmj519UID：176326

For grandparents, 要呼应, meals means more than just filling stomach.
或者means to see their offsprings, which will always makes them happy.
(happiness..小汗。。)

Eating together is becoming an small activity which is full of fun .

With the increase of efficiency这句有点逻辑问题。。


另外。。cmj。。。草莓酱。。。。假的。。名字缩写而已。。以其称呼偶即可。

ddcmj519UID：176326

For grandparents, 要呼应, meals means more than just filling stomach.
或者means to see their offsprings, which will always makes them happy.
(happiness..小汗。。)

Eating together is becoming an small activity which is full of fun .

With the increase of efficiency这句有点逻辑问题。。


另外。。cmj。。。草莓酱。。。。假的。。名字缩写而已。。以其称呼偶即可。

roinyouUID：2447501

经过修改 的确思路清晰了很多， ddcmj还是指正的很有建设性的。
不过用grandparents更适合指代自己家人，可能用老人这样的指称好些。这样和下面的孩子和夫妻比较搭配。当中可以使用你自己grandpa的例子。
修改后的文章应该说develop的比较详细，表达也很顺畅，有条例结构，如果能使用多些复杂句式就可以使你的文章更加升华了。