【☆09GRE作文冲刺组☆】yanxin19 2月13号作业argue

yanxin19UID: 2254573

题目：ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
字数：430
用时：0:35:00
日期：2009-2-13

I this memo, the author concludes that it is the best way to improve profits to concentrate primarily on domestic chesses rather than traditional various of imported cheese. To validate this assertion the author first notes that their chain stores have stocked both domestic and imported cheeses and that the five best-selling cheeses at their stores are all domestic cheeses. Further, he also cited a survey held last year revealing that an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among the subscribers. Although this memo have merits and well organized, it serves from several logical flaws in critical respects, which render it wholly unpersuasive as it stands.

To the first point, the fact that the five best-selling cheeses at the newest stores are domestic cheddar cheeses form Wisconsin is dubious in that the trend may
be temporal and that the specific characteristic of Wisconsin cheeses and of the cheddar brand . For the matter the Wisconsin chesses are cheap and delicious, it is attracted the newest stores are situated in the low- income communities. In such an scenario, the fact about the five best-selling cheeses will not
well indicate the domestic cheese are more profitable to all level of citizens.


To the second point, the recent survey by a magazine is not necessarily reliable.
The survey may rest on insufficient small number and the sample is subscribers of a Cheese of world magazine, who are more likely have inclination to domestic cheeses. Furthermore, an increasing preference is not a precise notion. Omit giving us sufficient statistic evidence about the original preference data and how large is the change, the author could not attain any valid conclusion.


To the last point, to stop or limit inventory are not necessary resolution of making profit. controversy lies in the inventory status, the author falsely assume that
various of imported chesses need
spacious and long-term inventory, and in the contrary domestic cheese need smaller inventory, nevertheless the author fails to present any evidence that this is the case, so that whether it will make profit could not be ensured by limiting inventory of domestic cheeses.

In conclusion, the assertion for the concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses for stocking both domestic and imported chesses is not well supported, at least based merely on the memo. To better evaluate whether to limiting inventory of domestic cheeses will make profit, the author should present further information about relation between the kind of cheese and the status of inventory. To convince me that this assertion is justifiable, precise statistic data of the recent survey is in need.

hjjsherriffUID: 2459384

I this memo, the author concludes that it is the best way to improve profits to concentrate primarily on domestic chesses rather than traditional various of imported cheese. To validate this assertion the author first notes that their chain stores have stocked both domestic and imported cheeses and that the five best-selling cheeses at their stores are all domestic cheeses. Further, he also cited a survey held last year revealing that an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among the subscribers. Although this memo have merits and well organized, it serves from several logical flaws in critical respects, which render it wholly unpersuasive as it stands.
论述的点改变了原文的意思了。
To the first point, the fact that the five best-selling cheeses at the newest stores are domestic cheddar cheeses form Wisconsin is dubious in that the trend may
be temporal and that the specific characteristic of Wisconsin cheeses and of the cheddar brand . For the matter the Wisconsin chesses are cheap and delicious, it is attracted the newest stores are situated in the low- income communities. In such an scenario, the fact about the five best-selling cheeses will not
well indicate the domestic cheese are more profitable to all level of citizens.


To the second point, the recent survey by a magazine is not necessarily reliable.
The survey may rest on insufficient small number and the sample is subscribers of a Cheese of world magazine, who are more likely have inclination to domestic cheeses. Furthermore, an increasing preference is not a precise notion. Omit giving us sufficient statistic evidence about the original preference data and how large is the change, the author could not attain any valid conclusion.


To the last point, to stop or limit inventory are not necessary resolution of making profit. controversy lies in the inventory status, the author falsely assume thatvarious of imported chesses need spacious and long-term inventory, and in the contrary domestic cheese need smaller inventory, nevertheless the author fails to present any evidence that this is the case, so that whether it will make profit could not be ensured by limiting inventory of domestic cheeses.

In conclusion, the assertion for the concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses for stocking both domestic and imported chesses is not well supported, at least based merely on the memo. To better evaluate whether to limiting inventory of domestic cheeses will make profit, the author should present further information about relation between the kind of cheese and the status of inventory. To convince me that this assertion is justifiable, precise statistic data of the recent survey is in need.

感觉段与段之间的衔接不是很足够，然后还有其他一些比较大的攻击点还没有攻击到。改了之后会是很不错的

hjjsherriffUID: 2459384

I this memo, the author concludes that it is the best way to improve profits to concentrate primarily on domestic chesses rather than traditional various of imported cheese. To validate this assertion the author first notes that their chain stores have stocked both domestic and imported cheeses and that the five best-selling cheeses at their stores are all domestic cheeses. Further, he also cited a survey held last year revealing that an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among the subscribers. Although this memo have merits and well organized, it serves from several logical flaws in critical respects, which render it wholly unpersuasive as it stands.
论述的点改变了原文的意思了。
To the first point, the fact that the five best-selling cheeses at the newest stores are domestic cheddar cheeses form Wisconsin is dubious in that the trend may
be temporal and that the specific characteristic of Wisconsin cheeses and of the cheddar brand . For the matter the Wisconsin chesses are cheap and delicious, it is attracted the newest stores are situated in the low- income communities. In such an scenario, the fact about the five best-selling cheeses will not
well indicate the domestic cheese are more profitable to all level of citizens.


To the second point, the recent survey by a magazine is not necessarily reliable.
The survey may rest on insufficient small number and the sample is subscribers of a Cheese of world magazine, who are more likely have inclination to domestic cheeses. Furthermore, an increasing preference is not a precise notion. Omit giving us sufficient statistic evidence about the original preference data and how large is the change, the author could not attain any valid conclusion.


To the last point, to stop or limit inventory are not necessary resolution of making profit. controversy lies in the inventory status, the author falsely assume thatvarious of imported chesses need spacious and long-term inventory, and in the contrary domestic cheese need smaller inventory, nevertheless the author fails to present any evidence that this is the case, so that whether it will make profit could not be ensured by limiting inventory of domestic cheeses.

In conclusion, the assertion for the concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses for stocking both domestic and imported chesses is not well supported, at least based merely on the memo. To better evaluate whether to limiting inventory of domestic cheeses will make profit, the author should present further information about relation between the kind of cheese and the status of inventory. To convince me that this assertion is justifiable, precise statistic data of the recent survey is in need.

感觉段与段之间的衔接不是很足够，然后还有其他一些比较大的攻击点还没有攻击到。改了之后会是很不错的