Argument127 【☆09GRE作文冲刺组】swbai2月14日作文

swbaiUID: 2600532

题目：ARGUMENT127 - The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."


In this memo the vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries (CI), recommends implementing electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use. To support this recommendation, the vice president cites the following facts about the monitors: (1) in order to reduce the time that employee wasted on personal and recreational activities, the monitor should be instilled; (2) the monitor can identify the employee who is wasting time; (3) the monitor can foster a better work ethic, and improve the profits. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation.

First, the identification and the punishment do not necessarily indicate that the employees are about to reduce the time wasted on personal and recreational activities. Perhaps the time employee on personal activities is so little and necessary, they cannot reduce it any more. what can the vice president do if the employee's son is suddenly ill and he must contract with his/her family to know the situation? Using Internet is a good idea, which only cost a little time. Perhaps the stress of the company is so big, that the employees cannot help to stop and take relax for a while. In short, without ruling out other possible reasons for the monitor can reduce wasting times the vice president cannot convince me on the basis of them that the monitor can make the working times longer than ever before.

Secondly, even if the monitor is sufficient in improving working times, the vice president assumes further that the monitor can identify the employee who is wasting time. Yet the memo contains no evidence to support this assumption. Lacking such evidence it is equally possible that the employees use other's account to surf the internet. In fact, perhaps as the result of the software's bugs, they can make more time to enjoy themselves without the fearing the president may be come and get angry.

Finally, the fact that the monitor can identify who is wasting time accomplishes nothing toward bolstering the recommendation. The efficiency of the work depends greatly on trust, which is badly damaged by the suspicion that the president thinks his employees will use their workstations in personal or recreational activities. Besides, other factors as the working attitude of the president, the interest of the employees, and the pay for the employee are the key factors to the work ethic.

In sum, the recommendation relies on certain assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation the vice president must provide clear evidence--perhaps by way of personal study--that the monitor software can identify the person, and how many hours he/she spent on personal or recreational activities. To better assess the recommendation, I would need to know how the monitor can foster a better work ethic. I would also need to know why the employees spent time on personal or recreational activities.

d596086UID: 2522476

主体第一段你开头主旨句把错误点写出来了，但是你后面的反驳没有力度
sing Internet is a good idea, which only cost a little time.这个地方也有问题，和你要论证的东西无关啊，而且你的假设说公司员工忙没有时间玩，如果真这样，那么安装监视东西对他们也没大影响啊？
第二个反驳点其实可以和第一个归并，就是说这个监视工具不能防止员工浪费时间
第三点说的非常好

其实这个文章唯一可以反驳的一句就是. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits
所以攻击就针对3点： prevent employees from wasting time
foster a better work ethic at Climpson
and improve our overall profits

d596086UID: 2522476

主体第一段你开头主旨句把错误点写出来了，但是你后面的反驳没有力度
sing Internet is a good idea, which only cost a little time.这个地方也有问题，和你要论证的东西无关啊，而且你的假设说公司员工忙没有时间玩，如果真这样，那么安装监视东西对他们也没大影响啊？
第二个反驳点其实可以和第一个归并，就是说这个监视工具不能防止员工浪费时间
第三点说的非常好

其实这个文章唯一可以反驳的一句就是. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits
所以攻击就针对3点： prevent employees from wasting time
foster a better work ethic at Climpson
and improve our overall profits