issue7 【0906G 文以载道三月四月小组】on noheven

needle咩~UID: 2578550

Let’s talk about documentation. (首句有些随意)A document may manifest symbolic, diagrammatic or sensory-representational information. To document is to produce a document artifact by collecting and representing information. As the development of technology, digital artifacts are used to document more and more often, such as radio. Will it become a more important form of documentation than written records, for the reason that the video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life, as the speaker says? Given to the various contents of documentation, though the accuracy and vivid image of video camera, it can not take the place of written records, they will parallel exits as a helper to each other for documenting.（句子结构貌似没问题，意思也看的懂，只是觉得分句过多）


In the respect of real life affairs and events（意思重复）, the video records is very clear and intuitionistic; one can easily understand it just by watching the moving image and hearing the sound – even a person is not able to read could get its meaning（两个主语）. For instance, the Apollo Lunar Landing, one high-tech event which was broadcast to the whole earth at the same time as it happened, was even touched by common person. Without the video camera, how could we see the activities of human on the land of Luna--It is just beyond the common people’s imagination. And of course, the video recorded the processes for further studying, with other written data. Moreover, even passers-by could catch the news from a television in a grocer or in a bus. In this level, it is so universal that it could be broadcast everywhere. Just have a look at the popular news program and compare them to the traditional newspapers, one will find that masses tend to prefer the former for its simplicity and vivid image; in addition, you could watch television while sporting but you can not reading while sporting, isn’t it?（个人觉得这种写法很好，如果例子能再贴切点会更好）

In the respect of other contents of documentation, such as abstract ideas, laws, instructions, and some internal emotions(几个方面很深刻), the merits of video in the first aspect turn to the foibles. Video can rebuild or even recreate the real world, but it is not good at broadcast the abstract meanings, especially the progress of how to get to it. So scientists and scholars still need to publish their papers, while commentators will need to write their comments after the 9 o’clock news.貌似过于随意了

On the other hand, as an old saying, “there are one hundred Hamlets in one hundred reads’ eyes.” 原句确实是这样的吗The written words give readers more space for imagination, then it may lead to the another creative works while this situation merely happens by watching video in which way one just passively accepts the moving image.

Last but not least, video camera is less convenience that pens and paper for being taken with, producing and saving. And the fast development of digital technology
calls for frequency updating the data form which may lead to the data losing. Looking back to the example of the Apollo Lunar Landing, as the losing of original tapes of the video (it said that it lost in several times of copying for update the data form ), the authenticity of it is being questioned.（和convenience无关吧，或者应该在段末收个尾，回归到段首论点）

In a sum, video cameras and written records are not the opposite forms for documentation; in fact, they are parallel different ways which fit for different contents and different aims of documents. They could play a complementarily part to each other.
首段先下了一个定义，再提出论点。个人很向往这种写法，但定义未必能下好。To document这个定义个人认为下得不是很好。
中间论证很充分，很深入，能很好的表达作者的论点
总体来说语言挺不错的，特别是羡慕你的遣词，虽然有些我也不知道对否，但是很多都表达的很棒。如果是限时写作那就真的很棒了！