argument168 第一次写,多指教

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Argumnent168

  The recommendation that people should obtain more vitamin D and  
calcium could help people to reduce the risk of fractures in later life  
seems at first glance to be an obvious conclusion .After all it is the  
intention of benefiting people to keep in a better health condition by  
absorbing more nutrients, such as as vitamin D and calcium. However what  
I want to point out is that whether it is taking vitamin D and calcium  
by which way can we prevent ourselves from fracture.

  The study appears to suffer from three statistical problems, all of  
which render the study result unreliable. First, the study rely on the  
statistics from only French woman, however, it is entirely possible that  
these woman are not representative of the whole people. Additionally, the  
survey only evolved women who were nursing-home residents and  
participating in a light weightlifting program, yet the author draw a  
broad conclusion for healthy people and people who do not keep on a  
diet based on the study's result. moreover, unless the study sampled a  
sufficient number of people worldwide and did do randomly across the  
entire spectrum, the survey result are unreliable to gauge vitamin D and  
calcuim do help reduce the risk of fractures.

  Another vital problem of the argument is that the author fails to  
establish the cause-effect relationship between lacking of vitamin D  
and calcium and the fractures. It is highly possible that other  
nutrients such as iron are responsible for the fractures. It is also  
that nursing-home's company help the old lady far away from the  
fracture .Besides, the people who participated in a light weightlifting  
program are lack of lots of nutrients, it is unwarranted to conclude  
their fractures result from not taking enough vitamin D and calcium as  
the author contend.

  To sum up, the author fails to strengthen his claim that the vitamin D  
and calcuim can reduce the risk of fractures. Because the  evidence site  
in his argument does not lend credible support to what the argue  
maintains. To make the argument more convincing, he author would  
demonstrate that the inner construction and fragment of the vitamin D  
and calcuim do contain something can prevent from the  
fractures. Additionally, author should provide more information concerning  
the distinction between people take and not take the vitamin D and  
calcium worldwide. Therefore if the argument included the given factors  
mentioned above the argument statement would become through and  
logically accepted.